My ex and I were together for 10 years, have three children together.He is having another one with his much younger girlfriend any day now.The thing that really gets to me other than he just keeps having more kids and has another girlfriend is the fact that when we were together he really did not do a lot to help out. I tried to get him to do things with the kids like take them to the park or things at school and he rarely went.I always felt like a single mom even when we were together. Now two years after we split I realized that when he actually takes the kids he is a better dad than when we were together. We are by no means on great speaking terms a lot has happenened to as where we say only what has to be said. The kids are where I hear about what they do on their time. They like to keep talking and tell me everything as a way to stay up a little later.As far as taking them grocery shopping,to the park,open house at school,local company sponsered events,playing in piles of leaves outside all these things that he rarely or never did when we were together.Any one else feel like the other parent finally stept up and became a parent this way?I haven't said anything to their dad but it is a ongoing list of things good and bad I don't sat to him because we just don't talk.I would but everything I say to him is twisted around or used against me in some other way.

Lots of parents are great when they only have the kids part time. When my ex and I had his girls on the weekends, he was a great dad to them. When we had full custody his involvement in their lives, and in our newborn son's life, virtually ceased to exist. He even told me once that he liked being a weekend father, but couldn't handle it everyday.

"Daddyland" is a common complaint among single moms.

I am glad to hear someone say they feel the same way.His new baby with his girlfriend was born today.I am having a harder time dealing with it then I thought.He did not talk about it at all I just know its a boy and it was born today cause of what my kids told me when I picked them up from visiting him he made me come to the hospital and get them.All he said as I walked away was nothing will change.I guess we will see when his two days a week with our kids turns cause he is now a full time dad to a newborn again and a part time one to ours.

I am sorry you are hurting so much. It just seems so unfair. But remember, he is still the man you caught cheating, and that is the same man the gf has. He hasn't magically changed into a faithful man who helps around the house and with the kids on a daily basis. Wasn't he texting you recently, even though he is with her? Chances are he will be the same with the new gf as he was with you, you just don't get to see it. You only get to hear the good stuff. I would be willing to bet you, if you could be a fly on the wall listening to the gf talk to her friends you wouldn't feel so bad.

Also, your kids get to have him involved when they do see him, which is better than having him there everyday and completely uninvovled, IMO.

You will get through the pain you are feeling. I am so sorry that you have to go through it.

Hey guys,

I need some input for a school research and advocacy project I'm doing on single parenting :

why is it important for professionals to understand how Single Parenting affects the childhood field or influence it in any way???

All responses can be anonymous and/or accredited to you. its for educational purposes only Smiler (had to throw that out there )

thanks again
-Amber,mommy to be

quote:

Originally posted by amakkinje:

why is it important for professionals to understand how Single Parenting affects the childhood field or influence it in any way???

All responses can be anonymous and/or accredited to you. its for educational purposes only Smiler (had to throw that out there)

thanks again
-Amber,mommy to be

Umm, I don't really understand the question. What do you mean "childhood field"?

yes I am sure life is not close to perfect for him and his new gf. My brother is good friends with a mutal friend of my kids father. His new baby was born this past thursday and I guess he has been hiding out and his buddies house. Been there any chance he could to get out of the responsibility of taking care of the new gf and her baby,their baby.I know my kids and I are better off but sometimes it is just hard and lonely and I feel like I do miss and want him back even though it's for all the wrong reasons. I just keep reminding myself what would really happen if I answered his texts.It would be ok for awhile and would turn out worse off then we already are now.I am sure if I could be a fly on the wall I'd here all of the things I use to talk to my friends about.I really do believe he has not changed and that I do need to start looking for someone who is my happiness . I'm sure its only a matter of time before he leaves her and their baby too. His dad never changed and neither has mine.Creatures of habit and life they see and don't change.