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I am New to SFV |
I am a new mother my son is now 4 months old and I am looking for a way out. I am trying to figure out where I fit in life. I am still with the father of my child and every day I go through emotional abuse. I have waited four long months to gain enough strength to leave.
But, now I know it is inevitable I can�t stay in this abusive relationship for much longer. I know he does not hit me but, everyday when I am headed home I dread walking into my house. I am ok; until he gets home then I just shut down. Nothing I say is right all he tells me is how stupid I am and how the house could be cleaner. I work from 7:00 am in the margining until 3pm I pick my son up at that 3 and then I am with him until 5 when he gets home. I am trying my best to be a great mother and to be a supportive person to my fianc�. He tells me everyday that I can�t leave him. He says who would pay the bills? He tells me everyday that I could never make it on my own without him. I guess I just don�t know where to start any comments would be appreciated. I am doing all my chatting at work so fill free to e-mail me. I just can�t risk chatting at home. I love my son and I have to do this for him and for my own sanity. I thought that I could just keep my mouth shut for our son and let him talk to me the way that he does. But, I can�t every day I lose a little more of myself. And I know I need all of myself for my son. |
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Learning to Surf The Board |
hi cassy
 i'm new here too, and like you i was in an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship, although my son was not born at the time. i know its hard to leave, but you have to think of what's best not only for you, but more especially for your son. we have to be strong for our children because we're all they've got and they can't stand for themselves yet.you *can* leave this man. you have nothing to feel guilty about. no man has a right to treat any woman any way except as a queen. you deserve better, and you have to believe that. there's better out there. i know for myself, i know there's someone out there, but right now i am focusing all my love and devotion on my son. he needs it more than i do. i hate being alone, but sometimes it's a good thing. it gives us a chance to grow, to re-evaluate ourselves, our desires for our lives, for our children. you're going to be fine we all are
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On the Board |
Hi Cassy,
I am so sorry to hear you are experiencing so much pain. No one should ever have to feel the way you have described. It just isn't right. I am not an expert on your side of this issue, I was in an abusive relationship, but as the male the abuse my ex leveled was at my children, and only me when I was at home to stop it. You on the other hand appear to be the direct victim, though these types of patterns do not normally correct themselves. I am putting a couple of links to what I hope will be helpful information. First Omaha Police Department's FAQ with facts about domestic abuse, and some numbers that may be of use to you http://www.opd.ci.omaha.ne.us/FAQ/DOM/DOM/ Second YWCA Safety and Legal help page for Domestic violence http://www.ywca.org/site/pp.asp?c=6nJCLONmGiF&b=257556 They have resources available to help you and provide things such as achecklists for leaving that will help provide you with a safe deaprture, etc. There are also Hotlines for you to call to advice from someone with more experience with these situations. God Bless, Rob |
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I am New to SFV |
Hi Cassy! I also am new to this site. It is going to be a hard decision to leave but you can do it and it will be in the best interest of you and your child. Think of how much happier you will be for you and your child. I know you can do it on your own - i am a single mother of soon to be four children. I though it was going to be impossible, but you can make anything happen. Good Luck and my thoughts are with you.
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"I want back in the closet" Lively & Zealous Parent |
Cass,
1st of all welcome to SFV! What you discribe sounds very much like a relationship, you need to get out of before it gets worse. Keeping your month shut and putting up with it for your sons sake would be the wrong thing to do. You don't want your son to grow up thinking that this is right or OK. You are on the right path: 1) You know you can not stay. 2) You have a full time job. So you WILL be able to pay bills. 3) You have a place for you son while your at work. Now start looking for an appartment you can afford for you and your son. |
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