At times i have low moments, and feel like the worst mum ever. And after talking to some parents, and here reading some of the things, i just feel like the worst. I don't know why, but most times i rather not do much with my kids. I try to find things to occupy me. Is it cos i'm bad, or am i trying to run from something?

Will it ever change? I worry as they are growing up fast and there's so much i should do with them, but I just can't. I don't know what's wrong with me. Im hoping my depression isn't back, but even so, would that be the cause?

Sorry for all the questions..

quote:

Originally posted by Nina55:
[qb] At times i have low moments, and feel like the worst mum ever. And after talking to some parents, and here reading some of the things, i just feel like the worst. I don't know why, but most times i rather not do much with my kids. I try to find things to occupy me. Is it cos i'm bad, or am i trying to run from something?

Will it ever change? I worry as they are growing up fast and there's so much i should do with them, but I just can't. I don't know what's wrong with me. Im hoping my depression isn't back, but even so, would that be the cause?

Sorry for all the questions.. [/qb]

Often times we cannot appreciate or love our children until we can do that with ourselves. You do sound depressed. This is your bodies way of telling you that something isn't right and everything is off balance. Start with self-healing. Get to the root of your sorrow and you will begin to see a change. I'm not saying that it is going to be easy, but you will need courage, no doubt about it. Healing is an ongoing process, but in the long run, it is worth it. Trust me on this one, this is application not speculation. I use to be right in your shoes.

I went through a similar stage for awhile with my daughter. I was just so tired and stressed from work, school and cooking and cleaning that I just didn't have the energy or the patience to deal with her. And she was turning into an absolute brat because she was almost being ignored. I feel horrible about it now, I love her so much! But I just decided to forget about myself and focus on her, even if I was too tired. So I let the dishes go for a couple extra hours until she went to sleep and played with her, took her to the park, went for walks, anything I thought she'd enjoy. It was self-healing. I was relieving my stress by focusing on her and changing her attitude because she no longer had to beg me for attention. And it made me feel better because I was doing what I should have been doing all along - being her mom.

Thanks for that. I have tried to find the root of my problems, but just when i think i found it, something comes along to ruin it all. And i have found if i put time into the kids, things were better, but for some reason i just can't keep doing it.

I've wanted to go to see someone, but when i finally get my head together, i then talk myself out of it, by thinking i'll be ok now, which only lasts a few days, and then back to start.

Doesn't help when my daughter comes home from school saying how her friends did so and so, and when will she do that or similar....

Hi Nina,
I am not sure exactly to what extent you are talking and that can make a difference.
I do know that I think we all go through fases at times. There are times when I get so wrapped up in running my business and doing this project or that and soon my kids are all acting out. So then I have to put things on a hold a little, like Alex mentioned, and get back to basics.
It's kind of like being organized. I can go through the entire house and clean out every room and closet from top to bottom and have everything organized, neat and orderly. Then after a while of living it gets a mess again. This is normal and when it is time I have to go through it and do it all over again. I use to beat myself up and wonder what was wrong with me because I could not keep things up 100% all the time. I have learned that no one does.
No one is perfect with their kids, no one keeps a perfect house 100% of the time, everyone makes mistakes and everyone has the right to learn and move on from them.
You obviously care about your kids or you would not have posted the question. Maybe take a short walk with them after supper tonight and see how you feel. If you are getting depressed it will do you a lot of good also.
Nina, you also mentioned in another post that you are newly single. Very good posiblility that you need some time to heal also.
Best to you and God bless.

Nina,

It sounds like maybe you could be a little depressed. I know I went thru a time when I was very depressed and could not stand to be near my son at times. I was angry at everyone and would take it out on my son unfortantly. I changed and did my own thing and my son tagged along and just did what I wanted to do. I now have straighted out over the past three yrs and have realized that being a mom is not so bad and yes there are days when my son's selfishness of me can get annoying but I handle it differently. I guess to make a long story short get help and then the rest will come together for you.

Like 2many said maybe you also need time to heal you. That is very important too. You are not the worst mom by no means just a mom that needs a little help. In order for you to heal your outside environment you need to heal your inside first. Good luck

SPIRIT