Man I need help desperately.
My husband just filed for divorce and I moved to Fla. to live with a friend to get back on my feet. I'm supposed to go next week to pick up our daughter so that she can come live with me.

I have no family to help...this ONE friend who's getting frustrated and nothing else. No car. No job. I have walked ALL OVER MIAMI looking for a job...I've even walked around in the pouring rain looking for work. As a former housewife that can't speak spanish I can't find ANYTHING and it's been seven months.

I have tried to get help from welfare. I have even tried calling catholic charities. I didn't come here as a refugee from some other country so there isn't any help for me.

I'm desperate for work...and now I'm very very sick and I just don't know what to do anymore. In the meantime I have no education....I'm living off of a friend and I have a 3 year old that I can't take care of.

Miami is like..hell and I'm so alone and I just don't have any idea what to do anymore.

I applied for a job last week and was told that I have "amazing skills" and they "really wanted to hire me" unfortunately the only references I have are from a very long time ago...and they aren't very good. NO ONE will give me a job either because I don't speak spanish or because I have no references. I'm disgusted and angry and sick to freakin death of...ALL PEOPLE. I don't understand why NO ONE will give me a chance. I absolutely HATE Miami and would do anything to just have some kind of family or friends or something....just ONE PERSON to give me a chance.

O.K. I'm way sorry for all of this. When I found out how sick I was last week I think I snapped.

Not to be blunt or anything but why not move? YOu said you don't have and family or friends there, so they are not holding you back. You don't have a car or a job, so take those of the list. Do you have family anywhere? If so maybe you could could move closer to them. I know it is hard to move without money and stuff, but I take it that is how you got ot Miami?
When I first found out I have having a baby, I lived about 3 hours from my family. I know that isn't really far to travel, but the friends I had were all partiers so they wouldn't not have been able to offer the support I needed, being that I was gonna be a single mom. So I packed up the little amount of things I had and moved back home. Stayed with a long time friend for about 3 months and got a job working at a factory and was much happier. The car I had I sold for what I owed on it cuz I didn't need a payment in the situation I was in ( I basically reduced my debt to 0 and the bills I have are ones that I can't do with out (rent, electricity, gas, phone) I have a come a logn way since I moved. It was hard too. I have got crap credit so and to get any decent apartment around here you got to have excellent credit, so I had to actaully get a rommate with that sort of credit. And the task it self was much easier then dealer with him (the roomate). Any ways my point is you are much stronger then you think, and my advice to you if you want it is pack up and move. If you don't have family anywhere, move somewehre where it is quiet, it is a lot easier to make it in a small town then a big city. I hope I have helped you at least a little bit. If you want to chat or anythign liek that feel free to message me. Keep your chin up!

My mother is a drug addict. I can't go back there. I have NO cash and no NOTHING at all to just pick up and leave. I want to move...I can't handle Miami very well.

Basically I got to Miami on money I borrowed for a bus ticket. I was told that there are jobs here and that I could start over with some help..since this is the only friend I have I figured it would be worth a shot and I had to leave my husband. My husband has my daughter for visitation now and I'm supposed to pick her up soon.

Anyways...you're awesome for being so nice to me. Somehow I'm gonna have to figure out how to get out of here.

I agree that going back to your Mother doesn't sound so good. So, weigh out your other options. Brothers, Sisters, Aunts, Uncles? Friends from high school? What about going through the courts, don't they set up alimony? I wouldn't know how all that works, but I didn't think that a non-working mom could just be thrown out there with nothing.

Maybe I'm missing something. How is it that welfare will not help? AFDC Aid for Families with Dependant Children, Food stamps.
They are there to assist in just a situation, and should even be able to set you up for job training if needed. Welfare to Work program.


I hope things get better for you.
Don

Welfare is different in every state. Some states are very strict for reasons like.... having a population of almost a million in ONE county. haha.

I have been TRYING. When I moved here I was very very happy thinking that as long as I applied myself I'd make it. I have done absolutely EVERYTHING within my power.

My daughter gets medicaid... as far as the foodstamps thing goes I didn't get that and the waiting list for government housing is seven years. AFDC fills in whatever child support doesn't cover. You can't just..get money you get child support.

Welfare to work is simple. You get a job. Here they send you to a place called the "one stop career center". That's the employment office. They have listings for ALL KINDS OF JOBS!!!!! If you have a car. Or speak spanish...or an impeccable resume and a degree. There are no job help program things. I've asked and been everywhere. In Miami you CAN'T get a job.... The woman at subway wouldn't hire me because she couldn't get ahold of the last grocery store I worked at. She actually called me back and asked why the number didn't work and I had to explain to her how to make a long distance call outside of the city of Miami. She never called back and I was told that she wasn't there when I tried to ask about the job.

I've been to every McDonald's in Miami. It takes about 2 hours to drive from north to south in Dade county. Longer on the bus. The manager of the McDonald's in south beach explained to me in VERY VERY broken english that I needed to go to the McDonald's on 36th ave. & Biscayne Blvd. who then sent me back to the McDonald's in South Beach.


The only family I have is my mommma and my little brother. There is no one else. Or I'd SOOO be with them right now having a family would be awesome....

The bottom line is that I'm putting EVERY SINGLE THING I have into this. Miami isn't anything like anywhere else in the U.S. and I've been everywhere. Latins are very very very family oriented. They take care of each other. If you don't know someone or speak the language you're screwed. I'm going to figure it out if it means I have to leave. But I'm never gonna concede that this is happening because of something I did wrong other than the stupid decisions and immaturity of my past. Y'all are awesome and so great for listening. I just had to like..get it out. I'll figure it all out!
-Meighan

Hey,your on the net with us. Have you tried surfing? You could save the wear and tear on your feet and cover more ground. Everything should be right there.Jobs, aid, training, etc.
Good luck.

yup I have...whn that didn't work I just started walking you're way nice..y'all's help has been awesome.

-Meighan

Meighan,

I know how hard it is. I worked for the same company for 8 years and was fired in January. It took me nearly 2 months to find work and I was devastated. I finally went to a temp-to-perm agency. I had an interview within 2 days and a job in less than a week. They are very helpful. I know that it can be awful waiting for something to actually take, but you sound like a strong person. You got yourself out of an unhappy marriage, and if that is your daughter in the picture, you have a beautiful daughter that needs you. Stay strong and if you need to chat with someone or just have someone listen, pm me. I would love to talk to you.

-Jennifer

Easier said than done. I know those words all too well. I knew having a child as young as I did was bound to be a challenge but boy was I clueless on just how big a challenge I was in for.

I was 19 when my son was born, prior to that lifes obstacles were already weighing down on me. A few months before my son was born I dropped out of school (Adult Education) and took on two jobs. I was determined to be the best father a kid could have, the best provider he'd ever come to know. I worked as an Assistant Manager at Target and a Head Supervisor at a Campground. Believe me, I had no time in between jobs, and I was still struggling financially. Sometimes I found myself sleeping at the bus stop in between shifts, because my schedule only allowed me a few hours a day between jobs. I got so weak, and lost so much weight that I began to look sick. I went from 195 lbs to 135 lbs in just 3 months. I was sick the entire time but couldn't get well because I had no time to heal. I even lost all the hair at the back of my head. I was a young 19 year old bald guy. You would think that having the titles I did have I would have been making it alright financially. Well being the age I was corporate America new they could take advantage of me. Needless to say that I was still living paycheck to paycheck. The only time I got to see my ex is when she was asleep, and this continued for several months. What I'm trying to say is that there's going to be times in your life when things just seem impossible, when sacrificing just doesn't seem to cut it anymore. I made it though, and I can't explain how I did, but the one thing I was bleeding for is that I knew who I was from the day my son was born on was going to influence the type of person he would later become in life. If I were to throw in the towel when times got rough, when I was on the verge of living in a shelter with my family well then what would he become. We are our childrens greatest hero's, and like hero's we go about life defeating our deepest enemies...defeating defeat itself. I see your child in the picture with you, and I can see the pride you have in her. I believe it's that very pride, and love that will give you the strength you need. Don't give up on your child...she needs you to be her hero, she needs you to be strong......best wishes to you and your beautiful child, and remember it's okay to kneel on one knee when the world is weighing down upon you, but remember that you must be strong enough to get back up and push forward for the sake of your child....

Like Father...Like Son...

Meighan, I'm in Florida, and I know how difficult the system can be.

The Nurturing Network offers resources for pregnant women, but I can't help but think they would know of something here in florida for already moms as well.

http://www.nurturingnetwork.org/ is their web address. Try giving them a call.

If all else fails, plasma donation can privide at least a few bucks in your pocket to mybe buy some groceries or pay bus fare. It's not pleasant, but if you have to do what you have to do, you'll do it.

Hang in there. It will be okay.

http://www.womensfundmiami.org/ - another site to check out. They seem to be geared in the right direction. Contact them, let them know what's going on. Don't be afraid to say you're exhausted, adn you've tried, and you need help. I'm sure someone will answer your plea.

http://www.miamirescuemission.com/women.htm is another possibility.

Minnesota has a heckuva system to help working low-income parents if you can get here. Plenty of jobs too, but you have to be able to stand the winters. Seriously, though.. Housing, medical assistance, immediate help if you're willing to work. Social services here will even help you buy a car, and pay for auto insurance if you file a hardship case. No Catholic charities, they're all Lutheran. That's like a low class catholic, right? IMHO, you're in the wrong part of the country. Does that help at all??

you guys are so awesome. I gotta job as a temp...but I've only worked two days in the last couple of weeks. I got her in this daycare and borrowed some money and paid it up for the next month and am begging her father for money. I'm exhausted but somehow it makes me even more driven. The only issue I'm having now is that for every minute after 6pm that I'm late to pick her up they charge a doller and if you're not there by 7pm they call the police and children and family services. I have to take the bus and/or the train through downtown miami to get there and today I was two minutes late. Anyways..I was just venting. Y'all are the sweetest people ever..thank you so much for everything. haha I feel like crying but I gotta go put her in the bathtub..I love y'all! man I feel dumb.....
-Meighan

That's so much better than your first post! Good for you! Sometimes you can make arrangements with even a company you are contracting with to come in early and leave a little earlier. Maybe if you talk to the temp agency and let them know? I work 7:30 to 4:30, and I'm full time, but I have worked through temp agencies as well. I'm so glad that you've at least gotten as far as you have.