I just found this site this morning, and am thankful I have.

I am a single mother, with 2 beautiful daughters, Martina, who is 8 and Julianna, who is 7. I am a survivor, of sorts, I suppose...I have now been divorced for over a year, my ex-husband was (and probably still is) an alcoholic, drug addict, and unfortunately, a physical and emotional abuser. I lost my daughters to the foster care system for the longest 2 months and 3 days of my life, back in 2002, but was able to get them back, and also received full legal and physical custody of them.

I had not worked for almost 10 years, and now, at the age of 44, I have been working steadily for over a year, and while there are so many obstacles I have overcome, I still feel so totally depressed at times...while we are "ekeing" by, finances are difficult, the ex does not help in any way with child support, although I have a judgement against him, so if he works anywhere, the wages are attached...problem is, he either works "under the table" or quits his job, once they attach his wages.

My life consists of working to support us, and I feel so bad for my girls...they are in a support group at this time, and while they seem happy at times, there are those times when I feel as if I am not spending enough "quality" time with them. I try to set aside time when I pick them up from day care after work, so we can "talk" do their homework, etc., but it just doesn't feel like enough...and then, there is me...I do not have the time or money to do anything for myself, and I feel as if I am "losing myself" at times.

I am sure I am not the first, and will not be the last to feel this way, but for the moment, any words of advice will be so welcome.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

Stephanie Anne

Please forgive me, I meant to post this in the "40 Something Single Moms" forum!

Needless to say, 40 or 20, we can all use a friend in these times!

Hello,
I agree 40 or 20 doesn't matter. I understand what your sating, I feel I don't get enough quality with my son but I also get no time for myself. That why I come here, sometimes I just read other times I respond.

It does feel good to know that we are not alone in our "shoes!"

I am curious, with everything that we single parents have to do, so many resources that are limited (finances, time, emotional support, etc.), do those of you who are in your 20's, feel as wiped out at times, as those of us in our 40's do?

You know, at times I wonder, if, with everything that has happened in my life, would I have been able to handle it differently, if this all happened 20 years ago??

Would of, could of, should of, I guess life "happens" and it is not so much our age, but how we handle it.

Thanks for letting me ponder here!