Hey everyone

My names Melissa, and I'm a single mom to 6 week old maddison. I'm not sure who the father of my baby is(its one of 2 guys) and neither one of them is really around. One of them keeps saying he wants to see her than yells at me for not calling him or bringing her to see him which i think is unfair and i will not cater to his wants. The other isnt' around at all. He wants no part in her life what so ever. I want to get a paternity test done but from what i've been told by the social worker at the hospital they cost about 1200$ which i can't afford. I'm currently living with my mom and on EI(for mat leave). I plan on going back to school in february when the 2nd term starts, that is IF i can find a daycare and get the subsidy from the government. I want to be a teacher, which is a 5 year course so i'm going to be in debt majorly for a long while, but thankfully my family is willing to help me out with maddison.

I really hate writing these things because i'm either stumped on what to write or i ramble on. So i'm cutting myself off there. I hope I'll be able to find some other single moms to talk to...

~*Mell*~

Welcome! This is a really great place. There are lots of caring people on this forum. Your little girl is a doll! Cherish every minute of her infancy, it goes by really fast! I would keep looking into the paternity test. There may be programs out there that the social worker isnt aware of. Here in the US, there is a subsidy available for college tuition. Hopefully, there's something like that available to you. Family can really be a lifesaver, can't it? I don't know what I would do without the support of my family. As far as the father goes, keep strong & set limits. He should put forth at least some effort to see her. Calling & yelling at you isn't enough. Hope everything work out for you. Good luck!

Melissa, my boyfriend is going through a paternity struggle right now, his ex is using the ORS(office of recovery services) its a child support recovery service, to collect child support. The state will garnish(remove wages) from the non-custodial parents' pay-checks before he recieves it.
In order to qualify for the child support the paternity of the child must be determined. Since it is a state case(ORS) the state will pay for the verification of paternity!
I would recommend you look into any sort of goverment/court enforced child support and see if it can lead to a free test!

Melissa, I'm not 100% sure on who the father is of my son either (1 of 3 guys..) but 1 has completely stepped up, he was here for the delivery and for a week and a half afterwards (he's in california, i'm in tennessee) He doesn't want a paternity test done, he says that b/c he was here for Jackson's birth that he's the father and he doesn't want to discuss it, that he'll have his last name and he'll do whatever it takes to be a good dad. Its great, but I still feel horrible for not knowing 100%. one of the other possible dads doesn't want anything to do with my son, and he was a jerk since the minute I found out I was pregnant, and then the other possible dad doesn't even know that he's a possiblity. But my son has a dad now, and his dad loves him more than I could ever imagined he would have! He and I are working things out, slowly, but something is better than nothing! I think you're totally right about not catering to anyone's needs, but your own and your daughters! You have a lot on your plate right now, my son is almost 3wks old, so I'm in the same place you are! Good luck with everything, I hope school works out for you and your daughter is adorable!

Melissa, I'm not 100% sure on who the father is of my son either (1 of 3 guys..) but 1 has completely stepped up, he was here for the delivery and for a week and a half afterwards (he's in california, i'm in tennessee) He doesn't want a paternity test done, he says that b/c he was here for Jackson's birth that he's the father and he doesn't want to discuss it, that he'll have his last name and he'll do whatever it takes to be a good dad. Its great, but I still feel horrible for not knowing 100%. one of the other possible dads doesn't want anything to do with my son, and he was a jerk since the minute I found out I was pregnant, and then the other possible dad doesn't even know that he's a possiblity. But my son has a dad now, and his dad loves him more than I could ever imagined he would have! He and I are working things out, slowly, but something is better than nothing! I think you're totally right about not catering to anyone's needs, but your own and your daughters! You have a lot on your plate right now, my son is almost 3wks old, so I'm in the same place you are! Good luck with everything, I hope school works out for you and your daughter is adorable!

I'm new here too, but we recently had a DNA test in Illinois and it was a little expensive but only $475. And it took place in an office in the court house. I don't know if they have anny offices like that near you, but that's a lot cheaper that $1200, although it could be different due to different states.

Hey Melissa!
Other new mom found!
I'm sorry the paternity test is so expensive! Have you looked into any single mom programs that could hep? Maybe you could ask for legal advice on this through this site...?
I'm living with my parents, too... I understand that though that is a total blessing, it can be difficult...
btw, Your daughter is beautiful-she looks so intense!

Hey Melissa,
I'm new to this site as well (just signed up today). I have a 19 month old son. I almost went through the paternity process when my son was a couple months old. Here in Ontario it costs $600. I know if you take the father to court for child support and HE wants the test done, he has to pay for it....if it ends up not being his you have to pay him back. I think that may be a problem if it's between two men. I wish I could help. Everything is different province to province and state to state. Maybe your best bet is to contact a family law information centre in your area?

I am faced with doing the same thing for my 20 month old son. Paternity is about $600 and if you are wrong, you pay not the man. With 2 men, I have to legally file against both at the same time...but I'm in the states, not sure about there.