It's amazing how things can go from really good to really bad in the amount of time it takes to finish a long island iced tea. I got my first, "I really like you and I think you're wonderful, BUT your life is just way too complicated for me." First off I didn't even know this guy was into me and second, if he thinks my life is complicated for him, he really has no idea how complicated it is for me. I would have been a lot better off clueless about his feelings, but he just had to go and get drunk and mess everything up by confessing his secret feelings for me. He went on to say that he just wants to have fun and I'm just too kindhearted for "the kind of relationship" he wants right now...the kind with no strings attached. Well, I apologize for not wanting a one night stand...I deserve better and my son certainly doesn't need to be put in the middle of all of this mess. This guy knows I'm not that kind of girl, but for some reason he had to tell me all of this. I got so upset about it I stayed up until 5am crying to my best friend about being rejected by someone I didn't even know was interested, even if he was just interested in one thing. I don't even know why I'm so upset about it...I guess I just miss that kind of relationship... And he just added more complications to my life. I feel like screaming into a pillow.... grrr...
And this comment is really getting on my nerves because I seem to be hearing it just about everyday from some person who thinks they're helping -- "You're only 22. You have all of the time in the world to find a great guy." I'm tired of waiting.
I'm finished venting now. I feel a little better.

OMG I know exactly how u feel nolansmommy. I feel like screaming at these guys and saying u know what I never asked to be a single parent to my kids. Please don't blame me 4 my complicated life....I personally blame my Xs for my complicated life! LOL

U know what since when is being to kind hearted a bad thing? I'm like u I have the kindest biggest heart in the world and care about people. My daguther's father faulted me for that one too. You're smaret blah blah but ur to sweet and caring. WTF I thought it was a good thing that I was that way. I felt like saying I would not be here w/u if I was a hard callous b#$%h!.

It seems that guys just want a one night stand. Do they assume that just b/c we r single parents that we want one night stands? Do all men believe that is how our kids were made? Sorry just venting on that one too.

As for the comment of ur young u will find the right man. I get this comment too. I'm like well I have two kids and i'm 28yrs old....WTF do I have to wait until im 70yrs old...will i still be young enough still! LOL Funny how these comments come from people that r attached and happy.


Ok well whew I've vented on your vent sorry about that one. I know excatly how u feel. I go thru it as well. Its tuff but keep ur chin up and just keep hoping that that guy will come around. I'm trying to keep that smile on my face and I keep hoping. Just think i'm 28yrs old and haven't given up hope yet!LOL I'm not to old yet.

GOOD LUCK

SPIRIT

I will tell you this, not all men are like that. Some are like me, commited to a relationship, one at a time, never ever more then one. None of us like being single, I sure don't, corse I am talking with a perfictly wonderful woman, and the fact remains, I am only talking with her about a relationship. Corse if we get our families together it maybe be a bit like the brady bunch.

As for your ages, it is a whole lot easyer when you are in your twentys simple cause you do have more time. I wouldn't rush into a relationship just cause you like the idea, or don't want to be single. This thinking is doomed for failior. Sad part is when men are in their twentys they think having fun in bed is what life is, corse there are more exceptions out there then you would think. Peace

I know that all men aren't like this....however, these men don't stay on the market for long. It seems like the really wonderful guys are all in really wonderful relationships and that leaves "kindhearted" people like me sifting through what's left over. But I'm not even looking for a relationship right now. Like I said in my first post, I would have been a lot happier remaining clueless about everything. They say that good things come to you when you aren't looking for them....I'm still waiting for the good parts.
And I don't mind at all if other people vent on my vent.... At least I know I'm not in this boat alone.

If you wasen't looking, then I wouldn't let it bug you. Just get your ten foot pole out and don't let him get close.

Oh yeah, I wasent looking for a realationship when this one came about on me, so yeah, it happens when you are not looking.

Does a 6ft ladder work too, I got one of those today. I did get a pole, but that's going on my wall. Nolansmom, skip the pole and buy a weedwacker. (This is just to keep those who opt to give their opinions on what could have been but can't be, to themselves!)

Hey SueP, I like the weed whacker idea! I might use that one... I can think of a few people I would like to see keep their ideas to themselves.

CA, Careful with that weed wacker! I can feel my ankles twitching. . .

I'm trying a different approach. I've heard that happiness comes from within, so I am *trying* to get to that point on my own. Believe me it is not easy! - especially when you've spent most of your life as a co-dependant.

I met a man through some friends this weekend. Divorced, 35. (I'm 34) His marraige did not work out because his wife did not want children. Now he wants to start a family. I have 2 kids, older, and I had a hysterectomy. Oooops! Good luck with the family thing - sorry for wasting your time.

It wasn't a total waste though, I met a great person, and we has some good laughs!

Again, I want to feel complete with just me first. A relationship should compliment my life, not complete it.

My 2 cents. CA - Back off. LOL

OMF,

I had the same issue meeting a man a couple of years ago, but this guy was 47 yrs old and wanting to start a family. I made a pact with myself that I would be finished "starting" a family when I was 32. That way my family would all be of legal age by the time I am fifty.... plenty of time left for me. Well we had a great time for a while and I learned different behaviors for myself in that relationship. I too was always in the co-dependant situation. Not anymore! I refuse!

Hey, sorry I got too close with the weed whacker.. just getting the feel of it... for when I need it....

Good to hear that I'm not the only one trying to find my own way. I guess that's why I chose my screen name - On My Feet. For once, that's the way I want it to be. By me, for me, and on my terms. Got to admit, it is scary at times. So glad I found this place!!

quote:

Originally posted by OnMyFeet:
[qb] By me, for me, and on my terms. [/qb]

Yep it is scary at times but, hey atleast we know we can depend on ourselves now. Never settling for less than we deserve!

quote:

I'm trying a different approach. I've heard that happiness comes from within, so I am *trying* to get to that point on my own. Believe me it is not easy! - especially when you've spent most of your life as a co-dependant

and YES a relationship should compliment your life.

I've done the same and I have to say with the exception of a moment here and there (mainly because I just am tired and lazy and wishing there was an so to do something for me....)

I really am enjoying being on my own even with all the miserable stress involved in it. I do not want to share my bed. I have two lovely closets in my room that are mine all mine. I have no desire to make any physical nor emotional space right now. I'm full-up with what I've got (some good, some bad but heck it is mine!)

It really makes a huge difference when you are simply happy being you!

LMAO, I am single hear me roar. Hmm, sounds like a song.

Ok, Paul, Not all of us are as well adjusted at you.

Quote from another post:
"just remember people, don't give up, life is to be lived, not to be struggled through."
Sounds like a pretty good chorus to me. (hehe)

We are just trying to get to the living part. So, what's your secret??