Just a vent...

I am a single mom to my 6wk old daughter.. (and dont get me wrong, loving every second! ) but I feel as though that because I've "made my bed" so to speak.. I must lie in it... I feel the need to pretend to my freinds and family that I am this strange breed of "super-mom" who needs no help. I got really sick a couple weeks ago and could barely move, but instead of taking up my best freinds offer to come and help me look after Mak, I told her it was all good and suffered in silence. Why do I do this?

In 6wks, I have had 1 (count them.. ONE) afternoon nap because I feel the need to do everything I can while she's not needing me to fall asleep on. She still only wakes on average 2 times a night (yay 4 me!), but I am still not getting enough sleep.. Which inevitably (sp?) is going to hurt us both cos I might lose my temper all too easily... (which I don't want to be guilty of)

My best freind also offers to bring me around a home cooked dinner around 3 times a week.. I've taken her up on this twice. That means Mak has had a good proper home-cooked meal in her breastmilk twice. If she is taking all the good stuff from the little good stuff I am eating.. That leaves nothing for me.. Which add the no sleep just means disaster!

Why am I doing this to myself? Why can I not just say.. "Thanks Jaimie, I'd love a nice dinner.." or "yeah mom, I'd really love you to do some washing while I take a much needed nap.." ??? Why do I feel the need to be this "super-mom" type person? Am I looking for admiration? Or am I trying to prove to everyone (including myself) that I made the right decision and I can do this alone? Or worst of all... deep down am I making sure that Paul never finds out that I had any trouble and that I might have needed someones help (if that makes sence?)

Why when Paul's mom calls to check on Mak do I tell her how easy everything is? Instead of even just saying "It's hard, but I'm coping"? Why does the floor *need* to be mopped everyday.. the dishes *need* to be done straight away.. the house *need* to be spic-and-span "just incase" someone comes over? Why can't I just say to people.. Hey, I have a new baby so I really don't care that the floor isn't freshly mopped or there is baby clothes and bunnyrugs strewn about?

Sorry for the length.. just needed to vent

Just a guess, mind, but you do what you are doing because you don't want anyone to think you can't handle it. Its not bad to have help periodically, you need help as a single parent.

Yes, why are you doing this to yourself? I am about 7 weeks away from having my baby, but this is my second. If anyone offers to help me, I am going to take it. I know how hard it was the first few months with my first. I was just reading an article about this subject that says take all the help you can get. You need to sleep when the baby sleeps, or your just going to wear yourself out. It IS ok to have an unmopped floor, and the people offering help want to help. Take advantage of it!! Its not forever, just for now. I know its hard sometimes to ask for help, but this is an exception. Its ok. Keep telling yourself that. Taking care of you is also taking care of the baby.

Paul, yeah I think that's exactly it. I don't know why I feel the need to *prove* that I can do this myself? *Shrug*

Sane, I know.. I've read the same thing.. I'm trying to accept more help.. but I don't know why I feel so bad taking it.. ?? Oh well.. I'll get through this.. hehe

Cheers

Think of it this way. Once Mak stops napping, you will probably not get the chance again until the primary grades! Once Mak is oh, 6 months, one year old, nobody will offer a meal. TAKE IT WHILE YOU CAN GET IT! Heck, CALL FOR HELP! This comes from somebody who is also guilty of this very same thing... thankfully due to twins and another, some people just did it without bothering to ask because I didn't answer the phoneLOL I even remember my BIL showing up at the door with chicken,ziti,broccoli, omg it was dreamy! I even had a husband at the time -- not that he was around, maybe they felt guilty.. who knows, who cares.

Accept the help, Mak is worth it. A rested well fed mom is good for him. Think of him, forget you because clearly I know thinking of yourself isn't going to work!

and


ENJOY!

Hehe.. thanx Sue Ur dinner list made me hungry...

Jaimie brought around Roast Vegies last night.. and played with Makedde while I had a hot bath (a luxury I'd forgotten about..) It was hard to accept.. but I figure I can "pay her back" (so to speak) when she has a little one

Thanx again.. was nice to vent.. :huggies:

EXACTLY! There will be a time when you will have the energy to give back and those who helped you will have the need.

When one of my close friends had twins, I brought her dinner twice a week. She kept getting upset with me, but, was thankful. I told her that people did it for me and I wanted to do it for others. I meant a lot for me to be able to help. I think those who care about you feel the same way.

yeah, I *know* that.. it's just hsrd for me to ask for/accept help.. even when I do need it.. But I tell ya.. that bath is gonna keep me going back for more..Lol

If it were me giving the help.. no probs.. but I've decided for Mak's sake.. I will accept help.. but unless DESPERATE wont ask for it.. (too hard basket!) thanx sue