I recently found out that I was expecting 2 weeks ago and also that the father was moving to Baltimore, MD.

We've been dating for a year nothing too serious and we get along great. He told me in August that he received a job offer and was moving in a week ;however, I didn't find out that I was 5 weeks pregnant until after he left. We've talked about it and he has expressed how we shouldn't go through with this at this time in our lives, but I dont feel that way...

I am still in my junior year of college and he makes a decent living but he's not in college. We are both 23 yrs. old and are miles away from each other now...

can this workout????

-confused but hopeful

jmm2223,

I wanted to say hi and tell you I know how you feel. Either way you decide to go with this I also wanted to say congratulations!!! :baby: It sounds to me like you want this child even though he doesn't think it's a good thing right now.
You ask if this can workout or not??? YES IT CAN! Maybe it would help to let you know what happened to me. I got pregnant and we were happy for awhile about the pregnancy. But then I knew it wouldn't work because he was an alcoholic and liar...not what you want the father to be like. (it was a bad situation all around)I realized that I was not happy about being pregnant because of the situation I was in. But finally I got away from him and that allowed me to feel excited about becoming a mother. I would never take back what happened for anything in the world. Sometimes things happen when we least expect it, and we just gotta take it day by day. Everyday now I feel my little baby moving and kicking me and it brings a smile to my face everytime. I had to move back in with my parents and I no longer speak to the father. He told me he wanted nothing to do with me or his unborn baby. I am struggling right now. But beyond all of that I know in a few months my life will change for the better. Like I said, it was unexspected, but now it's all I can even think about. It may not be the right time for you and him, but really think about the big picture. If you can work it out and be together, that would be great!!! But just remember, even if it doesn't work out between you, you can still do it alone. I haven't gone through motherhood yet, (due Dec. 19), but I know it will be the time of my life and I wouldn't change it. If you truly want this baby, then get ready and do what you have to do. Even if he doesn't approve. It's easy for the man to express his opinion, but he isn't the one that has to go through with it. It might be hard, but you are stronger than you think. It's gotta be tough since you are still a junior in college, but woman are dealing with this same situation everyday. Somehow you can make things workout. I hope that things get easier for you and I know you will find the right answer. Do what you know is right for you. By the way, my ex was the worst thing that has ever happened to me, but read my quote at the bottom. Sometimes things happen and you feel like your life is so messed up. But we aren't able to see why things happen the way they do until later in life. I know I'll make it through and you will too! I hope to hear more about what happeneing with you. Keep us updated and I'm always here if you need to talk. Take care of yourself sweetie. Tiffnbaby :baby: Keegan

jmm2223,

Tiffnbaby brought up so good points about the baby and your pregnancy. I too am pregnate and on my own w/my second baby. I had a little boy 8yrs ago and now I'm having another that's due in December.

My X has a drinking problem but hey no drug problem. Trust me the mental stuff, leing and other stuff was more than enough for me.

I found out I was pregante at the end of April. He was happy for oh about 1 day and then freaked on me. He moved out in June I saw him about a month later and have not heard from him since. I'm doing ok. I know that I can do this on my own.

It sounds like you had a good relationship w/your BF. You were able to talk to him. Like my X he wants you to end the pregnancy. I chose not too only b/c unlike him I already love this little being that was growing inside my belly. I was only about 6-7wks when I found out.

I say listen to what you want not what he wants or what anyone else want. Hey I also went to college and graduated three yrs ago and worked. I had a baby in that time span to raise. You can do it. You will find a way if you really want this baby.

Like tiffnbaby I got away from my X and found that yes it gets lonley doing a pregnancy on your own but I was happy about being pregnate too and can't wait for my baby to be here! I feel it kick me and move and I smile and remember that yes at times I do miss my baby's father and having him to share it w/it's still fun. I also have the advantage of my son. He loves to come to the US and feel the baby kick. Very curious about the whole process of it all.

Good luck to you in whatever path you choose! Remeber everything happens for a reason you just can't see it right now. Like Whiteswan believes our babies pick us we don't pick them. Your baby came to you for a reason.

SPIRIT

jmm2223,

congratulations on your new pregnancy ! Ok first of all you need to stop and take a deep breath. Then you need to sit down and think about what YOU want. Not what your kinda boyfriend wants, your parents, your friends, any of them think. Because your desicion will effect you. Once you have made up your mind, and seems to me you have a pretty good idea. You let people know, this is what I'm doing. When you have decided and you talk to people with what will happen, they are alot less likely to try and push their opinions on you. especially your BF. Tell him this is what I have decided and this is what I'm doing. It may be hard for you to except but it is my choice. If you decide you want your baby tell him you would love for him to be in your life but you don't expect it. He has a choice too and that's whether or not he wants to step up and be a man. If he chooses to take responsibility then there you go. If not, then he didn't deserve you or the baby. And that is a hard thing to come to terms with. But from experience your baby will give you strength you never knew you had.

About school, it can be done. I'm 21 and I switched majors my sophomore , so I was basically still a freshman. I decided I am going to finish school and do everything I planned to do. My son will know you can do anything you put your mind to. So I am due Dec. 21st and I start back to school Jan 3rd. I set my schedule up so I only go to class two nights a week for 3 hours and the rest is online. I'm also working two jobs now so I can take the first two months off after the baby is born. So him and school will be my priorities. I'm a nursing major and had planned to get my BSN. I just had to reroute my path is all. I'm doing a 4 semester program to get my LPN first, and then goint into an accelerated 2 year program for my BSN. This way I will have a good job as a nurse while I'm in school, so I can provide for my son. I'll still finish in about the same time frame. Then I'm going on to get my masters. i have figured out daycare, work, money, school and everything for the next few years. I'm prepared, which makes me less anxious.

You can do anything. Just realize that. again Congrats!!!

First of all thank you for replying with such concern and such good advice. I have yet to recieve any advice from people who have been or are in a similar situation. My best friends know me and know I am responsible so they just say, "whatever you decide; we will be there for you". And I am very thankful to have such a good support group of friends but what I wanted to know was what I was getting myself into. Was I going to be able to handle working; schoool; and a new baby... by myself???? I'm very glad I found this site with very helpful people like you guys... so again thank you.

I have pretty much made my decision as you can see. I dont look at this situation as something inconvienent in my life right now. I think of it as a blessing. However, I do understand his points of view and arguments about how he cannot be there for me and the baby as much as he should being far away. Also, how very important it is to have both parents involved and how he is going to feel knowing he's 1600 miles away and cannot help or be there. I truly agree but on the flip side I have told him it is going to take effort on his part and he can still be involved in so many ways. I will continue with school as I planned and hope for the best for my baby and I. :sweetheart:

I also wanted to congradulate all of you! You are all do in December! :baby:

jmm2223,

Hi, I'm happy to hear that you have made your decision. You are right about this baby as being a blessing. That's exactly how I feel about my little man. Just wait until you start to feel him move! If you are still able to have him involved with the baby even though he is far away, that's a good start. I hope that it works out for you. I'm also happy to hear that you are going to keep going to school. Have you found out your due date yet? Let us know when you're due! Take care Tiffnbaby PS SPIRIT, LAURAEL AND I are known as the December expectant group! We can't wait!

.:Hi! December Expecting Group:.

Well I've started telling more people and the more people I tell the more excited I get! I have been shopping all weekend buying baby and pregnancy books and lullaby cd's...hehe. According to my doctor my due date would be April 27, 2006 but to some internet calendars It would be on May 2, 2006 which is even better b/c my birthday is in May too.

I haven't told my parents yet and I'm not sure how they are going to take it. My mother is difficult and not too understanding but my father is more accepting and supportive...

take care,
JACKiE