I'm so sorry to be saying this over and over again, but this time of the year is so hard for me. My son's birthday is 12.24 and so I have to buy even more gifts. Of course, they are not expensive, but he's a kid. I want to see him smile and his eyes get all big when he opens his gifts.
Also, I've had to leave behind some great friends. Friends that I've known for years, either because I have outgrown them, my priorities have changed, or because they have been bringing me down in some way. I feel like I am losing all of them. My own sisters who have kids of their own, don't even have time to spend with me. I don't think they understand what it's like to be a single parent. They both are married and are fine... I suppose. I feel like I don't have a best friend to turn to. Actually, I don't. How sad.

I am so sorry you are struggling. We will listen here and we understand.

As for your son's birthday, have you thought about celebrating half birthdays. On his real birthday have a cake. But in June or July, have the full blown gifts and party. This way he does not feel cheated and it will be easier financially for all. Plus you could get help with the summer wardrobe and toys through the gifts.

quote:

Originally posted by MMS:
I'm so sorry to be saying this over and over again, but this time of the year is so hard for me. My son's birthday is 12.24 and so I have to buy even more gifts. Of course, they are not expensive, but he's a kid. I want to see him smile and his eyes get all big when he opens his gifts.
Also, I've had to leave behind some great friends. Friends that I've known for years, either because I have outgrown them, my priorities have changed, or because they have been bringing me down in some way. I feel like I am losing all of them. My own sisters who have kids of their own, don't even have time to spend with me. I don't think they understand what it's like to be a single parent. They both are married and are fine... I suppose. I feel like I don't have a best friend to turn to. Actually, I don't. How sad.

That is sometimes part of the process, you lose friends by growing up but you gain news ones that are more of your nature in this process. You are here, and here people understand what you are going through and are here to help so you do have friends that you just don't ge tto go out with and do things with, but can at least talk too.

I understand loneliness as I lived with it my whole life. Your type of loneliness does go away though and you will get to explore other feelings when the time is right for you, which God will let you know when that is. In the meantime, you do have us to talk to and I love to talk and talk and talk and talk...

Now smile, you are at SFV where we care about people!

Thank you so much for your responses. I know that it feels like no one on the planet understands my situation, when there are several people out there who feel similar feelings. I know that my son is the gleam in my eye and is the one who makes me wake up in the mornings, but I do need that shoulder to lean on sometimes. It's draining to always think that I can always do everything on my own. Yesterday I had to put coolant and winshield wiper fluids in my car, and inflate the tires. Sometimes I don't want to work on my car. Sometimes I want someone else to do it. (I know, dorky example) it's not that I feel that I want to be in a relationship, just that I wish I had that circle of friends to run to. Thanks for your advice and new friendship! I'm going a little crazy right now because my new neighbor that moved in underneath my apt is so super loud and plays his music loud until about three in the am. It's driving me insaine.

Welcome, MMS.

We do understand exactly what you're talking about. You've found a very friendly and supportive group of single parents who are here to listen.

Happy you found us!

Hi and welcome to the group, Sometimes what don't break you makes u stronger. I was in the same situation about 5 years ago when . I left all my friends alone when i had my first son so when we broke up i had noone. in time everything will be better dont worry. Dont get yourself all worked up over your sons birthday christmas is the next day, give him a couple of gifts on his birthday and the rest on christmas it will all work out.I stressed so much about everything trying to take my childrens mind off of their dad that soon i was barely any good to them. Dont think that you are in this alone you found us and we are here to help.

Welcome!!
I feel the same way about my friends, most I have outgrown. We still talk occasionally but that's it. This time of the year can be rough on us all. But come talk to us when it gets rough.

Thank you, everyone! I made it through the holidays... with the whole family. It was nice, but of course, lonely. Glad I have people to talk to who know and understand more of what I'm feeling.!!!