Well it has been a while since I have been on this site...I really loved coming and see how everyone was doing but then I stop...I stopped b\c I thought everything was going great in my life...My son's father and I got back together and we were having a great time as you can say playing house...Well yesterday out of the blue my son's father sat me down and told me that it is best that we are just friends...Just friends how do you take that all in...I mean we have been together for four years and our son will be two soon...The excuse this time for not making things work is that he feels our relationship has come to a peek and does not see us working out in the future...But yet he wants us to be best friends...He wants to have a relationship where if I ever needed anything...help with our son or help with a relationship...that I can go to him even 3 in the morning for help...I don't know if I am being selfish or in dinale but I don't want that...I want him...I just don't understand how the day before we were looking at our own place to live and then he throws this on me...How you can love someone so much but yet not want to be with them...How you just come to a conclusion one day that you don't see me with you in the future...I feel like 4yrs of my life are just thrown out the window...I gave up everything for him...I have no friends and my family is barely there for me...They are just so tired of hearing what I have to say...I don't know who I am or where to go...I feel like I am starting all over again...so once again my heart has been ripped out and I need to grow a new one...but this time i don't want it to grow back I want the heart that I gave to my son's father...

Sorry if it is long...I just needed to write what was going on in my head...when you have no one to talk its nice to write things down...

Lonely girl once again.....

I know how you feel I just finished my house had a great career and then after 10 yrs my wife said that to me. Its been 2 yrs now and sometimes I still feel like im picking up the peices of my broken heart. I about 1 year ago understood and new i needed to move on with my life but it is hard when you love someone u dont want to let go but all we can do is adapt move on and deal with the situation. At least you all didnt go get the house create all the debt and then he cahanged his mind, Try to always look at the cup half full be optimistic thank god for your child and someday maybe you wilol see that you are better off. Have a great day I hope in some ways im a help.

I know how you feel about not having anyone to talk to & needing to get your thoughts out. I don't have any friends & can't go to my family about issues. I hope everything works out for you.

Well I am doing a lot better... It took me a smack in teh face to find what was going on is a good thing...On Friday night I went out with a friend from Highschool and I had a good time...I need gas though...So I drop the friend off and I have to pass my ex's house to the gas station...Well earlier that day he asked he he could take our son and I told him that Saturday would be best...He was okay with that and said that he was just going to go to bed since he needed to be at work at 7. Well I passed his house and this was at 2 30 in the morning...There was a white car in his driveway...Damn fool he didnt go to bed...So Saturday when I spoke to him he keep telling over and over again that I HAD to call him befor I came over...Well I didnt and there was the white car...He jumps out of his house all dressed nice and cleaned up..new clothes new hair cut...(paid for all of it from the Insurance money that we got back from an Accident we were in about a month ago...he fought with me to get the money so I gave in b\c I wanted to be done with things...He got half)...Ex had this big smile on his face...Well I blow up at him...I want to know who was in his home...I believe that I had every right since my son will be in there with that person...Long story short...had a big fight Son got really up set so I only let him stay with my ex for about an hour...I picked Timothy(Son) up and we fought even more...call me a "Stupid B****" in front of everything one and told me to never step foot on his property again...Well I left and I went and stayed with a friend for the night...I finally got out of him who is was( I knew all along) but it was his Ex from four yrs ago that is still stuck on him and is not legal for her to see him...nice right...Well...that was that hit in the head that I needed...I dont need that in my life and neither does my son...I am doing really well and Timothy and I have been really happy...I know that it has not even been a week but it seems like its been forever...I finally set my self goals and I am not going to turn back...I know what I want in life and I am not going to settle for anything else...Thank you for everyone that has read my story and if anyone ever needs anyone to talk to I am here...