I am a 24 yr old SM with a 2 1/2 year old girl. I am currently living in TN (originally from New Jersey) with my mother. I really hate living here, I don't like living in the south and there is problems with family and everything, (just to give you an idea I live in a 3 bedroom house with 8 people - soon to be 10 b/c my sister ~whom I can't stand by the way~ is pregnant with twins. There is no way 10 people can live in a 3 bedroom house. But my sister is another story and I won't waste your time with that) and would like to move to another state but obviously just can't get up and go. My mother watches my daughter while I work, so I was just thinking of waiting until she is in school to move so I can work while she is in school. Can anyone give me advice on how to make a move like that when I don't have anything or know anyone? I am really depressed here - sometimes I just start crying for no reason. It is so bad sometimes I just think of just packing up and driving anywhere and just starting over (like on the movie 'Mermaids'), which is not the worst I have thought of doing but anyway. Of course that is not smart when I don't have much money. Can anyone give me advice? I don't have many friends so I don't really have anyone to talk to, so I would really appreciate it.

You said that you work? Do you support you and your daughter solely? I ask because the best time for you to move is when you get a tax refund, and the best tax refund is when you work and claim you and your daughter. As far as just picking up and going - that isn't good for your daughter or yourself, but neither is your housing arrangement. Perhaps you could look into the local HUD or Section 8, see if you could find housing in the area until you know you can financially support you and your daughter. And- one more thing - it is easier to pick up and move before the kids are school age. Less paperwork and hassles. Did I mention Welcome to the SITE???

Don't have many friends? You've got over 8000 here. You're online right now so why not surf the job sites in your target area? First decide what the target is. Make up a game plan with as many options as you can and research first. It's all right at your finger tips.
If you're looking for someone to talk to, try the chat room on Sunday at 1pm EST. The link is in "open discussions" under online chat or something like that. Somebody help me out here.
Be warned; you won't get any advice in the chat room. Just laughs, pokes and jabs and lately a lot of cool recipes. And it's members only. No creeps like on Yahoo. See ya.

http://singleparentsnetwork.com/voicechat.html


You need more help than I can give you JD.

Hi, Mystic2102, and welcome to the site. There are lots of fantastic people on here that are willing to listen and give advice. I agree that living in a 3 br house w/10 people isn't a great environment, but you don't want to just up and move w/o having done some research either. Start putting $20 a week back or anything you have extra. I know that is difficult, but it isn't impossible. When you get you tax refund check, combine the money you've saved w/that check and you should have enough to make a fresh start. I won't sit here and tell you that it will make your life easier, but it will give you a new perspective. Don't rush into anything.

The chat room is a great way to get to know some of the other members. You can check from time to time and see if there are others in there. We go in at all different times, but the official chat is on Sundays at 1pm. Hope to see you there!

Hi;

To answer some of your questions, yes I work and do not and have never gotten any other help from the father, I am currently self-employed in a job that I hate, which is another reason I am so depressed. (and no I do not work on a street corner . I have my GED but never went to college so I don't have any real skills. The only reason I like being self-employed is it is very flexible and I make more money working part time than in a minimum wage job working full time, which is the only thing I would probably be able to get. I think my problem is my personality, I don't deal well with other people, I just like to keep to myself. I have went on interviews but no one will hire me I guess because of that reason. Don't get me wrong I am not stupid or anything it is just my personality that is holding me back.

I have tried public housing/ section 8 but there is like a 2 year waiting list and the list is not even open right now, that is how full they are. I am trying to get a roomate but it is hard to find someone that will live with a toddler, unless I find another single mother but I have no idea how to do that.

I save as much as I can every week but it is still not enough to move on my own. I want to have a better life but it is just so hard I just want to give up. It seems hopeless, like it will never get any better.

Mystic,

welcome to the site.

just one piece of advice: try not to loose that free babysitting. This will be very very useful, even when your child is at school (e.g. when she's sick, or to cover the times when school is out and you have to work, holidays etc...).
Plus you will have to change work.
And it would also be a shock to the child, to be all alone without the big family suddenly, new house, new school...you're looking for trouble.

You may be able to do it in steps..

Try to find a place to stay close to home at first, to be able to still keep the connection to the family, but with an independent life.

quote:

Originally posted by Blindsky75:
[qb] http://singleparentsnetwork.com/voicechat.html


You need more help than I can give you JD. [/qb]

Gee thanks that made me feel alot better! J/K -- you are right anyway

It is kind of funny that you said all that you did becuase 2 year ago I did just that. I was living in NM in the same town that my brother lived in which was only 3 hours aways from where my parents lived. To say the least we were all pretty close together. Then I got tiared of being watched and nagged by my family and I moved to Reno. I don't know anyone here and I don't have any family closer than 15 hours away. Oh, it is nice! The thing that you need to do is get in touch with the housing authority in whatever area you would like to move to. Also get in touch with the welfare department and find out if they have a daycare division where they help pay for that also. Find out through the housing authority if that is the only housing assistance available or if there are more options, like apartment complexes that have their own HUD programs. Then you will be able to move with little money at all. All you will basically need is the money for the moving van and a deposit on an apartment, which if you go through HUD is based on your income. You can also apply for emergency food stamps when you get there until you find a job and get on your feet. Trust me, I know how you feel, but you will be ok. Have faith and keep your head held high. Follow your heart and do what you think is best for you and your child. If you need any help let me know. Good luck!

Thanks for your advice. It's nice to know other people are going or have gone through the same thing. It makes me feel a little better, like mabye I can do it. But I just think it would be so scary on my own, not knowing anyone. I have always had my mother and family to help me when I needed it, I just wonder If I can do it by myself. I know I WANT to but I don't know if I can. How old was your boy/girl when you moved?

Oh the more help than I can give was directed to Jaysdad, not you!!! I'm sorry. We've nicknamed Jaysdad JD. I'm sorry!

quote:

Originally posted by mystic2102:
[qb]

quote:

Originally posted by Blindsky75:
[qb] http://singleparentsnetwork.com/voicechat.html


You need more help than I can give you JD. [/qb]

Gee thanks that made me feel alot better! J/K -- you are right anyway [/qb]

Thanks to everyone for their kind words & advice. I am going to try and get in here on Sunday to chat. See ya and thanks.

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Blindsky75:
[QB] Oh the more help than I can give was directed to Jaysdad, not you!!! I'm sorry. We've nicknamed Jaysdad JD. I'm sorry!

That's ok .. I was wondering what the JD was for hehe. Sorry I am new here I don't know all of you nicknames yet lol.

I have no problem helping. My son was 2 for only one week when we moved. I needed a change and had to do it for me and him both. I was always around my family too, but it makes you feel like you can do anything. My story gets worse though. I hired a moving company to help me and they stole my things after I paid them, so we were stuck in a place with no one that I knew at all and had nothing. But now I know I can handle anything. You can do it, just have faith and take the leap. If you need help let me know. Take care!

Wow - I heard about that kind of stuff happening with moving companies. Did you ever get your stuff back? You must have been strong if you got through that with nothing and not knowing anyone. I hope I have as much faith as you if I ever decide to move.