I was planning on spending my Christmas with just my sister and our kids....my dad just called and left a message asking if we want to come over for a bit for family dinner on Christmas Eve..I am a little angry at him but feel guilty if I dont go. He lives in the same town and has not bothered with my kids for 6 months. My youngest doesnt even know who he is...so now I am fighting with the choice...do I go because it is Christmas or do I say sorry but no thanks...family is for the whole year not just Christmas. Any effort for him to see my kids is always done by me.

Tough one, NLB. I would probably spend it with my sister, as planned, and let your dad know that you could come over for coffee and dessert later, but it's a little late notice for asking and that's the best you can offer.

NLB,

I go thru the same thing w/my dad. 8yrs ago when my mom left my dad I guess my dad kinds left me and my son. My dad live only 10mins away if that and never seems to be able to make it to see me. I have a hard time w/holidays b/c I think family is yr around not just a few times a yr.

I agree w/pooker do as you planned and let him know that you are avaiable for dessert and coffee. I spend x-mas w/my mom and stepdad every yr and x-mas eve w/my dad for a couple of hours. This I told dad well it has to be thrus b/c I'm going to moms to stay for the reminder of my pregnancy and after the baby is born. He accomadated me this yr.

Gook luck. If you're like me you always feel badly b/c it is your dad and you care about him in some way right? I go thru guilt every yr w/holidays. But my dad and I have grown apart for the past yrs.

SPIRIT

Thanks for your advice Pooker and spirit...I think I will take your advice..I know I will always feel obligated and in most ways I would do it for myself....if anything ever happened and I know I didnt make the effort I would not be able to forgive myself...I cant change what he does but I can make sure I live my life in a way that will ensure I have no regrets....Thanks again.

Good luck NLB, I would keep original plans as well and then go to dads place if u want.

Merry Christmas girl!

Thanks Laurie and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas.

Ditto to everyone else