Ha ha ha...this will be a crazy post:

This year is tight financially -duh- you all know where I'm coming from. I can't buy my son one present this year. I don't have a dime. Everything I have goes to pay off December rent-yes, I'm a bit behind! Now, I know he will get enough from my parents. We are staying there for Christmas. But I feel so bad that there isn't one thing I can buy for him, wrap for him, and put Love Mommy on it.

That said, every coworker I have is buying me gifts. I hate it! I feel so obligated to return the favor and I just can't. I have 3 supervisors who will all get me something. How do you handle situations like that? If I even came into any money, it would go for my son-not coworkers! But what do you say when someone hands you a gift and you have nothing for them?!

Also, I know my son and I don't "look" needy-if there is such a thing. But like I said, I don't have a dime. I still get hit up for money though from his daycare for needy families and paying for dinner for the teachers. I am at my wits end. I don't know how to say no without looking like a tightwad, a scrooge or a brat. How do you do it?? How do you politely say, I'm sorry I can't contribute to your needy family fund because I can't buy anything for MY son this year.

Sorry this is whiny! Not meant to be. Just wondering how others handle this...

Last year and years before my kids would bring me notes from school or parents to contribute towards a needy family or buying a teacher an expensive gift. Goodness, my three children at one time were required to bring $10-$15 a piece for their teachers' gifts. Instead of giving into that, I had my kids buy their own gifts for their own teachers. That was back then when I can give up a nickel. However, now is completely different 'cause I have to save up for a steep monthly house payment and emergencies. Therefore, I merely say to kids we can't really afford them, but we'll do good deeds and pray for them in return. We've also baked cookies and other pastries to give as gifts.

The true theme of Xmas is really lost and definitely makes it difficult for us who can't afford to fall in line with the shoppers.

I do have to add that Thanksgiving has become more of my favorite holiday wherein families come together, cook and eat together, and give thanks for what they have. There is no worry about shopping for presents.

Elma

Hi Tinkerbell,
I do understand how you feel, it is rough. I can tell from your posts that you have a good head on your shoulders and a kind heart. Just say thank you and move on knowing that may be one day you will be in a situation to give more, and at that time do so. I like the idea of the cookies too. Or make them a thank you note on your computer.
Try not to feel to bad about not making donations. I get hit up all the time too, and don't give if I don't want to. If I gave to everyone who asked I would have nothing. I take careful consideration to who and what I donate to. Just because they ask does not make you obligated.
I know times are tough and I sure hope I am not being to bold but there are some wonderful books out there that can really help with money. I am always recommending money books. The one I like is called "The Automatic Millionaire" by David Bach. It is not a get rich quick book like the title may suggest. It is a practical guide to handling money. The other one I have heard is great is "Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey.
You are not powerless over your money you can do it! I know I have been there! I feel for anyone who is there and would like to see everyone become debt free!
Again sorry, I know kind of off the subject.
Best of luck and prayers.

Tinkerbell,
I understand completely. Every bill I have went up considerably the past 3 months and now we must look for another place to live because the house we live in is being sold. That means deposit, moving expenses, etc. I was asked to participate in "Secret Santa". Now mind you I have know these people 13 years... I declined to participate. When asked why ... point blank I told them I was unsure where my daughter's Christmas present was coming from. Luckily I had a client to give me a generous cash gift and I was able to get her something for Christmas. As for teachers and friends... Snicker Doodles are sooooooo good and so cheap to make! Heart felt Thank You notes are even less expensive.
I know times are hard... keep your head up and your Christmas Spirit. Your son will have a great day with family and friends, and you will have the wonderful experience of seeing him go through it.

Almost the same situation here concerning the rent. There will be a few gifts for Jayd under the tree. Not bicycles and inline skates but there will be gifts.

What to say to the co-workers. Some of the best gifts I have ever recieved were jars of homemade pickles and jams. As a bachelor, a basket full of homemade goodies was a real treat. Cookies from scratch were better than gold. I think any small token will be appreciated. It is really the thought that counts.

It really is the thought that counts. I am being sponsored for Christmas by a hotel this year and was told to write down alot of gifts my kids would want. I wrote them down, and they told me they had gotten most of the gifts for them. Well as I am heading to my parents soon to spend Christmas there, I don't have room to take the boxes with me, so I let the kids open them tonight. Most of them were filled with torn, stained, or just plain dirty clothes. I know by the looks on my kids faces, they would have rather spent the time baking cookies with mommy, or playing than opening such thoughtless stuff. And trust me, no self respecting parent would have put their child in those clothes! Anyways my point is, it is always the thought that counts, a homemade card, cookies, or craft would mean alot.

Tinkerbell,
I just say it straight - I am sorry but if I have no money. With people that I think are going to get me something like your co-workers I would tell one of them that you just had no money and hated feeling embarrassed that you could not afford to reciprocate and would rather they did not give you anything and could they let the others know. If they still get you something then just accept it gracefully. For Xmas this year I have made baking and pickles for the people I feel I have to buy for, but even then I had to struggle to get the extra ingredients. I find that there are people that when they say that they have no money they mean that they can’t afford a new $150 dress where I mean I don’t think there is enough left to buy milk and those people will never understand that you actually mean NO money! Wishing you a Happy Xmas etc

Thank you all for reassuring words and advice. It really is nice to know there are people out there living my life!

I am fortunate to work for a big food distribution company-and one of the buyers I work for is a produce buyer. Well, for some reason he got 5 Christmas trees this year as a sample of things to possibly purchase next year-and he gave one to me. So at least we do have a tree up in our little apt!

I am sure that most people I work with are somewhat aware that I don't have a lot of money. They all know I'm a single parent and that I don't make a ton-so I am sure no one will think anything of it when I am not handing out gifts. I'll just look forward to the day that I will be able to do that! (I hope!)

Thanks again for the ideas of baking and advice. My son and I baked up some yummy Gingerbread men last night as we listened to Christmas music and danced around the living room And I really believe those are the memories that will stick...

Wishing you ALL a wonderful Christmas!

...and you're gonna spend Christmas with 8000 good friends too.