Trust me, I love Christmas. It's my favorite time of the year. But ever since I found my ex cheating, it doesn't have all the happiness attached to it any more. Now the kids are going to remember it as "When my parents ended

This year is worse cause my 17 & 18 yr olds just realized that the divorce is soon at hand. The 3 yr old doesn't notice much.

They know we don't really speak. They know we are usually in different areas of the house & we never greet the other in an affectionate manner. I went out on a date the other day, yes with a MARINE, and I just told them I had to do some stuff but my ex got up at 7am & realized I wasn't there & hasn't shown up since then.

Mind you, he's been cheating on me for 7 yrs with the same woman but I go out & he gets his panties in a knot. He didn't even know it was a date.

Of course the kids start getting upset at the fact that their parents are definitely over & done with their marriage and they have to guess at what's coming next. I was trying to wait until after the holidays so they wouldn't associate it with divorce & pain.

The kids are pissed & it seems to be directed at me. Now how is that fair!!!!

It isn't fair because it sounds like your husband thinks it is ok for him to do things but not for you, like he is better then you or something. It really sounds like he doesn't deserve you.

I wouldn't wait to talk to the children, they are old enough to understand what is going on. Hiding it from them will only make them mad andmake them feel like you don't respect their maturity. I would sit them down at the kitchen table one morning when your husband is out and takl to them and explain to them without putting your husband down (he might be a jerk but he is still their father) and explain how you feel and how the divorce came to be. Explain to them it is not their fault.

They are 17 and 1, they have to know that daddy has a mistress by now since it has been 7 years. The only reason they would blame you is because they didn't know and only knew of your date with the Marine, that is my thought.

I think men are expected to be scum and cheat and that is why is ok with most people which is sad. Women are expected to be happy little homemakers and put up with whatever the husband does. Well, I don't have respect for either and I am glad you are not putting up with it and are moving on with your life.

Women need to be strong and not put up with ****. Men need to stop being the typical male. Society needs to realize that there are males who are honest and good men and women who are strong. A lot needs to change in society for us to evolve as a race, as of right now we don't act like the dominate species on the planet.

Thanks for the pep talk. I was feeling really crummy today cause of this. My kids are 18yr son, 17yr daughter & 3 yr daughter.

I definitely am moving on. I recvd some unexpected info on this lady just recently & it only confirms what I need o finish. Mind you, I started this divorce 2 yrs ago.

I'm going to email u.

You should leave him a note, do not put anything in the note except what I am about to type:

The Man in the Glass

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day,
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.

For it aren’t you father or mother or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass?
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass?

You may be like Jack Horner and chisel a plum
And think you’re a wonderful guy.
But the man in the glass says you’re only a bum
If you can’t look him straight in the eye.

He’s the fellow to please-never mind all the rest,
For he’s with you clear to the end.
And you’ve passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass.
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you cheated the man in the glass.


It is a poem I inherited from the vice principal of my school I think my freshman year at high school and I still to this day never forgotten it as I have cherish it all this time. I likeit because it really bothers some people when they read it because it makes them think and regret. If you did nothing wrong, it will never bother you and sound like an interesting poem like it would to you. To him who has been cheating on you all this time, it will bother him unless he is truely cold in which he doesn't have enough emotion in his heart and might as well be a snake.

THAT IS AWESOME!!!

Now can I ask, "Why did he give that to you?" Were you being evil?

In regards to the ex, it is sad but I do not believe he has a heart or emotions anymore. I think all that cheating has removed everything but sin.

I really tried to work past his cheating but he's been doing it for 7 years and the #7 is a biblical number. I knew it was my time to give up this fight & move on!!!

quote:

Originally posted by 2darnsmart:
THAT IS AWESOME!!!

Now can I ask, "Why did he give that to you?" Were you being evil?

In regards to the ex, it is sad but I do not believe he has a heart or emotions anymore. I think all that cheating has removed everything but sin.

I really tried to work past his cheating but he's been doing it for 7 years and the #7 is a biblical number. I knew it was my time to give up this fight & move on!!!

Actually, he gave that to me along with EVERY freshman that was sitting in the auditorium that day. He was the one that told us Sophomore stands for wise fool, freshman meaning complete fool I guess.

As for the years, that is way too long to tolerate someone disrespecting you. I think a year is too long. I don't think his cheating made him as cold as a snake, I think he just changed in general and that is why he is cheating, because he just doesn't care about anyone or anything except himself.

You are better off without him 7 years ago. I am glad you did it now but you could have been remarried and happy by now if you left him 7 years ago when he first started cheating.

YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I believed that he would not throw it all away & he would realize his mistakes. I also wanted to spare my kids ALL the HURT & DRAMA. I have always kept up appearances so that they would love & respect their father but it was to no avail! All I did was inflict more pain & suffering than I would ever wish on any person.

Its hard to put on a happy front when you feel the life being sucked out of you and your heart aches sooooooo much that you have to think about breathing because if you don't you realize that you are holding your breath. I can't truly explain the excruciating pain I was going thru except to say that I had to pretend to be happy for my kids, mom etc.

Good thing is that I am living again!!!

quote:

Originally posted by 2darnsmart:
YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I believed that he would not throw it all away & he would realize his mistakes. I also wanted to spare my kids ALL the HURT & DRAMA. I have always kept up appearances so that they would love & respect their father but it was to no avail! All I did was inflict more pain & suffering than I would ever wish on any person.

Its hard to put on a happy front when you feel the life being sucked out of you and your heart aches sooooooo much that you have to think about breathing because if you don't you realize that you are holding your breath. I can't truly explain the excruciating pain I was going thru except to say that I had to pretend to be happy for my kids, mom etc.

Good thing is that I am living again!!!

Welcome back to the world of the living, now go outin the world and spread happiness and be happy yourself! :-)

Hopefully thats what I've been doing for a while. I always wear a smile & try to encourage people when they're down.

As for my living, after being married for so long & treated like trash............I am finally doing things for me & I am pretty happy.

Thank you!

quote:

Originally posted by 2darnsmart:
Hopefully thats what I've been doing for a while. I always wear a smile & try to encourage people when they're down.

As for my living, after being married for so long & treated like trash............I am finally doing things for me & I am pretty happy.

Thank you!

That is good to hear, walk around the house now singing "Don't worry, be happy!"

OK, did that & woke up all the kids. Just kidding.

You are a good guy. Maybe you were right.....marines aren't that great!

quote:

Originally posted by 2darnsmart:
OK, did that & woke up all the kids. Just kidding.

You are a good guy. Maybe you were right.....marines aren't that great!

Well, someone has to be on the front lines, just like someone COUGH COUGH NAVY has to be their taxi service. Someone has to protect the Army and win wars (That would be us as the owning the sky in a war brings victory).



See, I just can't help myself!

You go right ahead! You've earned the right to brag about Navy to me cause you are a nice, understanding & compassionate guy.

Brag awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! If I knew more about the NAVY I coulf help ya.

quote:

Originally posted by 2darnsmart:
You go right ahead! You've earned the right to brag about Navy to me cause you are a nice, understanding & compassionate guy.

Brag awayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! If I knew more about the NAVY I coulf help ya.

Ah, if you want to learn about the navy, ride in a taxi for an hour or two!

Oh, thanks for the comment!

What? Did I miss reading a posting?

How in the world can I learn about the navy by riding in a cab for a couple of hours?

Please explain or are you delirious from lack of sleep