In December I filed for child support, through DCSE. They said it takes three to six months to get things going. I recently decieded to leave Arizona in April, and go back to Washington, where I am originally from. I was told that Jayda's father, could make it, so that I cannot leave the state! She'll be three months on Feb. 12, and he's only seen her twice, because he's too preoccupied partying and hanging out with friends. I just know how he is, and if I go after him for child support then he'll go after me for visitation. He's not on the birth certificate, we broke up while I was still prego, and never went to the hospital. Should I wait until I'm back in Washington until I file for child suport?

In most states if not all, if he is not on the Birth Cert. then in order to get child support, he will have to agree that hes the dad or test will have to be done to determine hes the dad. Yes it is possible for him to make it so you can not simple leave the state. But usually if you have a good reason for leaving you will be able to. Its meant to be used so that people don't leave the state because they want to take the children away from the X.

Usually you have to ahve already obtained a support/custody order for it to be illegal for you to leave the state. check with an attorney if you have any reservations but if it were me, I would move home and file your stuff there when you have established residency.

I'm in AZ to and went through the dcse to get my order too. If you obtain child support this way, it usually means that it is a IV-D case, which is for child support and paternity only, and after the agreement is settled, until he files for visitation or any kind of custody himself, you have sole physical and legal custody, which, from what I heard (but don't quote me on this) typically means that you can move out of state without his consent. This may also mean that the courts can't force you to return to AZ. To be on the safe side, I'd check with an attorney though. All that being said... If you are really worried about his retaliation, then make it easier on yourself and move now and establish residency in Washington (I'm Origionally From Oregon and Washington, by the way) The problem with moving though, if paternity hasn't been established, it will be more difficult and a more lengthy process to obtain child support.

Another point worth mentioning is that it is important to document everything- your conversations, his visits with your daughter, anything he has given her (diapers, clothing, etc) Note both positive and negative things he has done. If he really is a flake, your documentation will show it, and you'll have an easier time in court proving his inconsistancy, if he retaliates because of the child support. Most often though, it is only a threat to keep you from pursuing cs.

If he genuinely wants to be a part of her life, he will show it through his actions, in which case, it is important to give him the opportunity.

I would love for him to be apart of her life, but he's so inconsistent with everything, and if he files for visitation then I dont want him to think that he can come in and out of life whenever he pleases. Or on his terms. Thanks alot!

Oh and where at in Washington honeybeesmom?

I lived in the podunk town of Washougal for a little while. It's close to Camas and Vancouver.

And, believe me, I can relate to the inconsistancy. It's a hard road when only one parent is actually willing to parent. When the other "parent" doesn't do their part, and just waltzes in to play good guy (or girl) when they feel like it, it makes you want to scream. Your daughter will know, when she is older, his true colors, whether they end up being good or bad. Meanwhile you are being a loving, consistant role model in her life, and looking out for her best interest. try not to worry too hard about him fighting you for the sake of retaliation -it's typically an uphill battle for even the most well meaning fathers (unfortunately, they get the crap end of the judicial stick sometimes too). I've wasted too many nights worrying about that day myself and it hasn't come yet. Keep your chin up, focus on your wonderful daughter, and good luck with your move.