OK - I posted this on the Custody Visitation 0 and then thought maybe it was better suited for the Support.... so here I am... Venting...


I am a single mother of four. Two teens (a boy and a girl) from my first marraige which ended in physical abuse. A 9 yr old girl... my miracle between marraiges... her dad is not around - by his own choice - not mine. That's a story for a whole other day. Last but certainly not least (as if he would ever allow someone to think he is the least), my 4 yr old boy. His dad and I are recently divorced after a 10 month court battle over custody.

Things I did not know when I met him online and moved my children 700 miles to be with him: He told me he had had a vascectomy. We now have our 4 yr old son, that I wouldn't trade for the world. He was making $60,000 a year at his job... he lost that job the day I got here, and has not held a steady job since. He physically and emotionally abused his first wife. He has on his record a domestic battery. He received that when he threw his second wife 15 ft. through a wall. I woke up one morning, with his hands around my throat, choking me. I made him move out that day.

I watched for four years as he did everything in his power to NOT have to pay child support. I learned how he plays the game. I will not let him play this game with my son. I paid his child support to his first wife so that she would not throw him in jail. When he and I separated, I stopped paying it. She had him thrown in jail. His father bailed him out. Now, in the 11 months since we first seperated, and only 8 months since child support was set, the judge in our case has told him that if he misses one more payment, he will go into work release. My lawyer filed this week, to have him put into work release because he has again missed two payments... no, three as of today... What's worse is, this child support is ordered income withheld. But he won't hold a job long enough to keep up his child support.

I am so afraid that my son will think that this is the type of man he is supposed to grow up to be. I do not want him to grow up to be this type of man anymore than I want my daughters to marry this type of man.

I know I cannot withhold visitation if he doesn't pay child support. It is against the law. I can not prove any domestic abuse, because I made him move out before he left any bruises on me. He did however, with a scratch on his elbow (that he could have gotten anywhere - but did NOT get from me) have me thrown in jail for domestic battery. This has since been thrown out. But the courts see him as a fit parent. So I must continue to allow visitation. What parents want their child to have this type of man as a role model? Yet, he has to be a drug dealing prostitute in order to lose parental rights. This is so wrong. There should be something that forces parents to be responsible for their children, or lose that right to be a parent. Dead beat parents should not have the rights that responsible parents have. I wish we could change the law.

Ok - I am done venting. I know there is no real question here... I really did just need a place to vent that nobody who lives in my community would see. Thanks for that!

Is there anyway to get supervised visitation? I know you don't have very much of a case for restricted visitation, but maybe you have enough for supervised?