Just wondering if anyone has an imput on this situation?

23 yrs old and I am ten weeks pregnant and actually looking forward to meeting this child, I was scared and happy but now I am conquering the fear and consintrating a building a stable life for this munchkin I am baking up inside (smile). The father was originally ok with the pregnancy situation and then things became I guess stale and he came out with the fact that he really wanted to be in the childs life as long as he could live with me and us be a family other wise he didn't want to be in this childs life because he is already paying child support to his ex wife and can't afford to pay to me as well. He was staying with me for the simple fact to avoid support payments. I never asked him to pay support, but you know that knocked me off of my feet to hear him so easily give up my child our child then, and for such a silly reason. Since all of that I ended the relationship and thought that my child desearves a father that loves them not to avoid support but just genuinely loves then and wants to be there every second hehehe, worried to death that they are ok. I am in a secure job with a very loving community of friends and family, so i wondered if it is wrong of me to just want him to not have to worry about support and to just elave the picture as a whole, while I raise this child and support, nurture and love them to death!
i will appreciate all opinions good or indifferent thank you so much!

Hi Meadowbreeze,
Take a look at the posting in the single moms section for budgeting and rethink your no child support decision. It is expensive to raise a child. You did not get pregnant by yourself. It does take two. It is not your right to get support it is your childs right. Even if you do have a good job .. it will still take more. File for support and get a prepaid college fund with it! Start a mutual fund for your child. Anything.. your child is entitled!
Support and visitation do not go hand and hand in the eyes of the law. They are two separate entities.
Please rethink your decision for your child and the future well being of yourself. What would happen if you lost your job or became disabled to the extent you could not work. My mother always told me to look further than the end of your nose. Look into your future and the future of your child ... good, bad, great, and ugly.
carla

He needs to think again if he believes those are his choices. He IS responsible for child support period. Beyond that it is his choice to be involved or not, hopefully his choice will to be involved for the child's sake.
A guy can't just say, I won't be involved so that I won't have to pay support. And does he think it would cost him any less if he was there as a family raising the child?

Hell once again to you both, I was glad to see that I had a responce to my post, thank you.

The father thinks that it would be cheaper if he lives as a family raising this child because he knows how much I make which is more then him, and a lot more then him after his child suport payments to his ex wife. So in a way for him yes it would be cheaper for him to live with me as a family raising this child. Maybe that makes since to answer that question. Plus I have a house of my own he does not, he has an apartment, and so forth.

I realize that my expenses will increase but I know that if he pays child support as he does not want to and I force the issue he will fight for more and more time with this child to spite me not really because he wants to be with this child, he is very controling, and manipulative, but you have to know him for a hile before you would ever really see this side to him.

I will think this decision over again and again I am sure. The one thing that hangs in my heart though is... Do I really as a a mother want for my child to grow visiting a father just because he was forced into child support, when I will always know the truth that he does not love him/her. That would hurt me to the core of my being! I love this child too much to allow anything like that to happen to them. I see the point of the money issues and the point of it taking two to create this child but if I am able to support this child alone and provide what this child needs along with my loving family and freinds always there for them as well, is that maybe not better?

Any other thoughts or questions I am open still... By the way my spirits on the pregnancy are up!!! Still and loving that soon one day this baby will be here!!!

I think you are doing the right thing here, when you say you want to think it over.
The situation will change and maybe become clearer once your child is born.

Absolutely nothing wrong with taking your time with this decision.
Your explanation of the circumstances makes sense now with what he was trying to make his decisions based on. So I see he really is trying to base his "love life" on financial terms, shame on him.
More time I'm sure will tell you what the best decision would be, as Red says, you can always make that decisions after the child is born, Congratulations by the way!

Myself, I don't ask for support from the mother of my daughter I have full custody of, though I do let her visit on occasion. Personal choice, don't need it to survive and honestly it assures me with the upper hand which equates to more safety and stability for my daughter. I do also pay support for another daughter of a different mother. I guess I just say this because obviously you are free to make whatever decision might be best for you. In the end I also know that I could be putting any support collected for my daughter into a college fund, so there are pros and cons to weigh out(like I'm saying something you don't already know)
Best wishes

Just an update...
I was contacted by the father through an email from the weekend and he is taking his son to the beach for a get away and he has decided that not only does he not want to pay child support but also he can not go through life with another child growing up and him missing parts of its life so he rather not be involved still. Well I am not respoding and I am moving on he is too immature and undecisive as to what he wants and needs in his life and my child will not be drug around in that mannor!
That you for all of the advice and support! By the way I am still doing well although my back hurts.