Hello, all, I cam here wondering if anyone could answer some of my questions. I am 6 motns pregnant right now, I have 2 children in my custody, my oldest child lives with his father, and my youngest child lives with her father. My dilemma is this: I made arrangements with my son's father to pay child support once I got back on my feet as I was going through a divorce and was barely able to feed the children in my custody. We have joint custody and when I had my child once before I never asked him for anything because he almost got a divorce himself at that time. He makes over 90k a yr, meanwhiel my latest ex husband who has custody of our 3 yr old is taking me to court for child support soon, I don't know how this is going to work because he is currently paying me back the $20,000 he took from my daughter's survival benefits, her father was missing fro 4 yrs before we learned the details of his murder and as soon as that money came in he paid off his credit card, which he bought furniture we did not need with and a big screen tv which he still has in his possession, plus he paid off HIS student loans and then 20 days later told me he wanted a divorce. Now he is taking me to court for child support. He is a captain with 12 yrs in the army, I just finished my first semester of college thru the gi bill because I can't afford daycare to get a decent job, I have to go to school when my kids are in school which leaves me with few options in the summer when i depend on this repayment of my daughter's money and her monthly installments of survival benefits to survive. I don't know what to do. It seems unfair that they make so much more than I do, I can barely afford to pay bills and put food on the table and these guys with their comfortable lifestyles are trying to take what I don't have. In the case with my daughter, the agreement was that he would not ask for child support as long as I gave him custody. Atleast not until I was on my feet, I am not on my feet, I can't make ends meet at all. I don't know what to do. Anyone have any answers. I know legally I am going to have to pay him child support. I just don't see how the situation is going to work out. I am in arrears from my first husband, because I was not able to get it modified in time to accommadate my current finances. Anyone ever been in these circumstances?

Not many women in my situation, I guess. I knew it was a tough one. It is really difficult for me because I put my life on hole for the men I married and have had to start over again everytime they let me down. Then while I try to pick myself up again, they come at me in this way. It would be different in my eyes if they didn't make so much money already. My main issue is that I gave them custody because I knew I was not financially able to take care of all of the kids. I love my kids but was trying to do the right thing by them. It just seems a little unreasonable that in my situation the law makes no allowances even though the custodial parents have more than what they need while I am struggling. It seems unfair for them to expect me to to pay child support before I can even establish myself. It makes things difficult for me when the two children I have with me do not have fathers. One is dead and the other doesn't care. They are always doing without everything and my other two children have everything they want. When my other two children visit, my girls can see the difference and don't understand why they don't even have good clothes to wear or a decent pari of shoes half the time. Meanwhile my other children have several pairs of name brand shoes and I can barely make my bills much less provide for my 2 girls the way I wish I could. I just wish the law would have clearer guidelines for someone in my circumstances.

perhaps you can reach some sort of agreement with him through his command?

the law seems to work well for folks in 70% of the situations, unfortunately it is very redundant for the other 30% (in my opinion)

i think if you call around (state government, family court, etc) they may be able to at lest direct you in the right direction. something about college/paying child support. i do not agree with not paying child support when you can. but if you cannot and trying to raise a child/children - you need a little assistance

Holding the bag, we have a member on board that goes by rbb333 he is a child support attorney and may have some direction for you. You can look him up under the member directory....he is on or around page 120. Send him a PM and see what he says. Sorry that I don't have any advice as I am still trying to figure out how to get CS for my 3 daughters...could not imagine trying to raise children and pay support at the same time. I hope that your holidays are full of cheer.....we can still have cheer even while we are broke. Keep your head up.

Mashell

quote:

Originally posted by holding the bag:
I just wish the law would have clearer guidelines for someone in my circumstances.

Hello,

The laws are usually very clear for CS. I found the child support guidelines for Alabama here -> http://www.alacourt.gov/ChildSupport.html

I found a calculator for them here, but I haven't checked its accuracy -> http://www.alllaw.com/calculators/Childsupport/alabama/

Have you estimated you and your ex's incomes, and checked what the worksheet says your CS amount should be? The worksheet does account for the custodial parent making more money than the non custodial parent; you may find that the CS is less than you think.

Even though judges can assign an amount of CS that is different from the worksheet amount, it's most common for them to use the guidelines...70% sounds reasonable.

Anyway...I recommend filling out the worksheet...just so you'd know where the judge will start from. Let me know if you have trouble filling it out.

Later,
Bobby