All forums, topics and discussions are geared to single parents and the issues faced with single parenting.
Support a single parent today and one will support you back!
                 

Single Parents Network SPN Newsletter Single Parents Match Single Parent Articles discussion boards Many Stores to choose from Join Us for Friendship and Support Keep SPN growing Members Personal Area search the network

Single Parents Network    Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online     Single Parent Forums  Hop To Forum Categories  Child Support    my story. single dad on both sides of the coin.
Go
New
Find
Notify
Tools
Reply
  
-star Rating Rate It!  Login/Join 
Kenn
I am New to SFV
Posted
I find myself living in a very difficult situation, due to child support, on both sides of the coin. let me explain my situation.

I have two children. my oldest is 14, of whom i have custody. im the single dad here. his mother does not pay child support. i have never seen any help from her in taking care of him. i havnt bothered trying to force finacial support on her because she simply never works. shes 36 and basically has lived by off various boyfriends and friends her whole life. until very recently she lived in the same town, and still only came to see our son maye 3 or 4 times a year, and in most of those visits she also asked me for money/place to stay/ or some other favor.

i also have a 2 and half year old, the relationship with his mother failed because she simply refused to put in the effort. she was allways paranoid i was fooling around on her (never happened, never woould have happened, I simply dont do that. commitment is commitment, ya know?) anyways, she basically just up and moved out one day when i was at work, taking our son with her. I knew the relationship was dead, so I wasnt too upset that she left, but i did miss having our son living with me. not long after, we go to settle child support. I go easy, i dont fight, i dont argue. hes my son and i should do as much as possible and then some for him.

But. im now paying about 25 percent of what i make to my ex, the fact that i am a single parent getting no child support is irrelevent. if, I had another child i was paying child support for, that would affect how much i pay, i just dont see the logic in that.

She and i gross about the same amount of money. i can barely afford to put food on the table for my son that i have custody of. i have my other child 2 days a week minimum. often more (why pay a sitter when dad wants to spend as much time as possbile with him)

as far as i can tell, from my research, there is nothing i can do to 1) get child support from my oldest mother. (yes i could go to court and force a minimum. but she wouldnt pay. would possibly go to jail. etc, but how does that help me and our son?} or 2)reduce the amount of child support im paying for my youngest, even though its more than she needs and more than I can afford.

not really looking for advice or suggestions, just really a chance to vent.

Kenn
 
Posts: 5 | Location: portsmouth NH | Registered: 05 April 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
daveburr
I am New to SFV
Posted Hide Post
quote:
Originally posted by Kenn:
[qb]I find myself living in a very difficult situation, due to child support, on both sides of the coin. let me explain my situation.

I have two children. my oldest is 14, of whom i have custody. im the single dad here. his mother does not pay child support. i have never seen any help from her in taking care of him. i havnt bothered trying to force finacial support on her because she simply never works. shes 36 and basically has lived by off various boyfriends and friends her whole life. until very recently she lived in the same town, and still only came to see our son maye 3 or 4 times a year, and in most of those visits she also asked me for money/place to stay/ or some other favor.

i also have a 2 and half year old, the relationship with his mother failed because she simply refused to put in the effort. she was allways paranoid i was fooling around on her (never happened, never woould have happened, I simply dont do that. commitment is commitment, ya know?) anyways, she basically just up and moved out one day when i was at work, taking our son with her. I knew the relationship was dead, so I wasnt too upset that she left, but i did miss having our son living with me. not long after, we go to settle child support. I go easy, i dont fight, i dont argue. hes my son and i should do as much as possible and then some for him.

But. im now paying about 25 percent of what i make to my ex, the fact that i am a single parent getting no child support is irrelevent. if, I had another child i was paying child support for, that would affect how much i pay, i just dont see the logic in that.

She and i gross about the same amount of money. i can barely afford to put food on the table for my son that i have custody of. i have my other child 2 days a week minimum. often more (why pay a sitter when dad wants to spend as much time as possbile with him)

as far as i can tell, from my research, there is nothing i can do to 1) get child support from my oldest mother. (yes i could go to court and force a minimum. but she wouldnt pay. would possibly go to jail. etc, but how does that help me and our son?} or 2)reduce the amount of child support im paying for my youngest, even though its more than she needs and more than I can afford.

not really looking for advice or suggestions, just really a chance to vent.

Kenn[/qb]


Time to start collecting then Smiler
Im a father with custody of 3 boys. never enforced anything, until my X went crazy and stold a bunch of stuff, etc. anyway to make a long story short I now have a $7k judgement against her and she is now starting to pay her share. its a lot nicer thats for sure.
 
Posts: 5 | Location: utah | Registered: 13 February 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Queti
I am New to SFV
Posted Hide Post
Depending on the state you are in they have different ways of setting the cs amount.
I would request an audit of your cse account. Get the paperwork for a modification based on the income being just about the same as the ex.
And for the mom that doesnt pay. I am a CP and just recently recieved our first cs check after 5 yrs. Took me a year from the time I starting learning how the process works and I have a interstate case. The worst kind.
The first mom, I would file for child support from her. Your oldest is also her responsibility also. Just as our 'male' NCP is responsible.
Once you do this and it is ordered you and the ex(if you want) should be able to set the cs at an amount you choose. I suggest you read up on the CS Laws for your state and go file. CSE cannot refuse you because you are a Dad. And you dont have to hire a lawyer to do so. Just maybe a fee to open a case.
Good Luck


quote:
Originally posted by Kenn:
[qb]I find myself living in a very difficult situation, due to child support, on both sides of the coin. let me explain my situation.

I have two children. my oldest is 14, of whom i have custody. im the single dad here. his mother does not pay child support. i have never seen any help from her in taking care of him. i havnt bothered trying to force finacial support on her because she simply never works. shes 36 and basically has lived by off various boyfriends and friends her whole life. until very recently she lived in the same town, and still only came to see our son maye 3 or 4 times a year, and in most of those visits she also asked me for money/place to stay/ or some other favor.

i also have a 2 and half year old, the relationship with his mother failed because she simply refused to put in the effort. she was allways paranoid i was fooling around on her (never happened, never woould have happened, I simply dont do that. commitment is commitment, ya know?) anyways, she basically just up and moved out one day when i was at work, taking our son with her. I knew the relationship was dead, so I wasnt too upset that she left, but i did miss having our son living with me. not long after, we go to settle child support. I go easy, i dont fight, i dont argue. hes my son and i should do as much as possible and then some for him.

But. im now paying about 25 percent of what i make to my ex, the fact that i am a single parent getting no child support is irrelevent. if, I had another child i was paying child support for, that would affect how much i pay, i just dont see the logic in that.

She and i gross about the same amount of money. i can barely afford to put food on the table for my son that i have custody of. i have my other child 2 days a week minimum. often more (why pay a sitter when dad wants to spend as much time as possbile with him)

as far as i can tell, from my research, there is nothing i can do to 1) get child support from my oldest mother. (yes i could go to court and force a minimum. but she wouldnt pay. would possibly go to jail. etc, but how does that help me and our son?} or 2)reduce the amount of child support im paying for my youngest, even though its more than she needs and more than I can afford.

not really looking for advice or suggestions, just really a chance to vent.

Kenn[/qb]
 
Posts: 8 | Location: usa | Registered: 27 February 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
 Previous Topic | Next Topic powered by eve community  
 

Single Parents Network    Single Family Voices - For Single Parents Online     Single Parent Forums  Hop To Forum Categories  Child Support    my story. single dad on both sides of the coin.

 
Web Single Parents Network
A Single Parents.com