I have two boys, and received child support for the last year or so. The ultimate goal for me was to get to the point where I didn't need his money to survive because he's so flaky. When we divorced, I took all the debt because I knew he wouldn't pay...so it has taken me a while to get on my feet. I wanted so badly to protect my good credit.

Now I find out that he quit working in December. He's been "underemployed" anyway for a long time. Capable of making way more than he does. I think he takes these jobs just so he can tell me that CS is taking MOST of his money (like a guilt trip).

Who knows how long it will be until he works again! Then it'll take a few weeks for the state paperwork to get done and processed and for me to get anything.

Any ideas on surviving...resources for all of us who are living without it? My parents have offered to help me, but I've always been so self sufficient that I hate to ask them unless I absolutely have to.

I'd love some ideas, some support Thanks everyone!

Hi juneboys,

Welcome to SFV. Have you had a chance to surf the site? If not check out "frugal living" and a few other threads or rooms. There are lots of great ideas here.

Welcome Juneboys,

I am not the best person to talk about frugal living but I did want to let you know that we are glad to see you here. About 5 people come to mind that I would ask about living on a tight budget but they are generally on once or twice/day or during the week.

Glad to meet ya!

Juneboys - I get little to no child support my sons whole life. I'm a coupon and sale nut. When I do the grocey shopping I buy whats on sale and use a coupon for it. I stock pile certain things when they go sale, it really adds up. I find it also helps if I only buy whats on the list, no impulse buying.

Since I too receive "sporadic" child support (currently, the ex is on unemployment, so I do receive $22.00 a week, however, that will end when his 13 weeks on unemployment are up), I made myself a promise and a budget from the beginning to NOT depend on child support. I wish I could, but it has not been a reliable source of income from the "git-go", so I just count my blessings when I do receive a check.

Have you checked with the county/state services to see if you are eligible for food stamps or any other subsidized programs, such as medical, housing and child care???

Also, check with your local area churches to see if they have a similar program as we do here in Colorado, it is called the "SHARE" program...they provide groceries ("If you eat, you are eligible" is their motto!) once a month at an extremely low price, which helps me out so much! For approximately 22.00 a month (you can spend more, but this has been our average over the last 6 months in using this program), the SHARE program provides me with staples, fruit, meat and the like, and has been a saving grace during those days right before my paycheck arrives, and food seems to be at a minimum!

And as Evestar mentioned, I also go "hog-wild" over coupons and bulk buying...one mention about coupons however, remember, they are generally affixed to a "name brand" and sometimes, the generic brands (which to date, on most generic items, I see little, if any difference) are just as good and may still be less expensive compared to those with the coupon...take your time when comparing, and I have come to taking a small steno pad with me to the store, so that I can keep a list of which items are usually the better buys.

Hope that helps a bit, and please keep us posted as to your progress! You CAN do it on your own, but if the assistance is there and needed, remember, you are providing for your children, and there is no shame in asking for a "hand-up" in times of need.

true, there is no shame in accepting your parents' help, but I agree that it can be more of a weight than anything else. It takes my mother 6 months of organising just so that she can take my child for a week during the holidays...it's good for him to see his grandma, so I accept it, but it's just no help at all in everyday life. So it just depends on what you think your parents can actually offer in terms of 'help'.
The ultimate goal is of course to be self sufficient, but not at any cost.
We have to remember that today's society is made so that 2 parents support the children (and that applies also if you have only one child), so again, it's great if we can make it all on our own and with no support from anyone, but it's normal if we can't.

Hi juneboys,
I sent you a private message too. To sum things up. I suggest 2 books "Total Money Make over" By Dave Ramsey and "Automatic Millionaire" By David Bach. What one book misses the other hits on.
I also buy everything in bulk, make up meals in advance and freeze them. I save money, know what is in the food, and on nights I do not want to cook I don't have to.
I will tell you from personal experiance, you can get out of debt and live a good life without money worries. You can do it. Take money by the horns and tell it what to do for you instead of it telling you what to do.
A lot of people say money doesn't matter. The truth is it does matter. We don't have to make a lot of it, but using it wisely can make all the difference in the world.
I wish you and all the best. Hope it helps. If you want specific ideas please feel free to pm me.
Ray

Well, the good news is that I do have most of our debt paid off! We still have a roof over our head and enough money in the bank at least for the time being....

I'm mostly worried about the time a couple of months down the road. I don't qualify for food stamps or other state aid. I looked into free/reduced lunches for the kiddies at school, but don't qualify there either. We'll make it, I know we will...thanks for all the ideas and support!

I also talked to the dentist and vet (we owe money to both) and asked if I could just send them a minimum each month until this got straightened out. They both agreed! So, there are some understanding businesses out there!

I hope to do my taxes this week and see if I'm getting a return. That should help for a while too!

Blessings,

Juneboys

There were plenty of times my kids and I fished for our supper (literally). There is a lot you can do with potatoes and eggs, too (they are very inexpensive!). Somehow we have managed to get by. And it's kind of funny that while we were fishing for supper we spent a lot of time becoming close. My children know I love them and that I am the one that has taken care of them. My ex has lost out. Two of my children are now adults and the third is almost 18. These children have no contact with their father and know that he has never done anything to support them. I am the big winner here. Keep your chin up. Sometimes it will get overwhelming (there was a time when I never seemed to have enough time, sleeping 3 hours a night,etc...) but in the end I feel truly blessed.