quote:

Originally posted by Solo:
[qb]How about going to court and having your payments set up there according to what you would really have to pay? Or if you don't want to do that ask her for proof of what she pays.

My soon to be ex is suppose to give me 150 a week. I usually don't get the full amount and it really hurts. So if I was to get that amount it would really help me finacially instead of falling behind in bills. And if I could get over 1,000 a month that would just be too good to be true. But I'd never ask for that much.

It's good that you are looking out for your daughter. But I just can't believe she made the so called comment about giving her up for adoption. I wonder how her spending habits are. Does she do drugs or drink? Just wondering why she is lying to get more money. And she does work full time?

I wish that I could provide a better living enviroment for my daughters. I live in a small 2 bdrm trailer. I would love to have house. But my girls are taken care of. I know that I can't have the best of everything but we make do. Maybe your wife needs to learn this.

Also, is there any way that you could spend more time with your daughter? She really needs you whether she acts like it or not. The more your willing to put into this relationship with her the more she will get to know you and bond.[/qb]

quote:

Originally posted by suesdaddy:
[qb]I have a 4 years old daughter and she is living with her mother - my ex-wife near San Franscisco.

I've been paying her mother more than $600 a month as the child support. And we wanted to send our daughter to a pre-school. I remembered my parents went through their own financial difficulties to send their children to get proper educations and I wanted to do the same thing to my daughter.

My ex said that she does not have enough money to send our daughter to send to a school. So I decided to send her more $$.

Now I send more than $800 a month. So my daughter goes to school now :-).

I was so happy to see when my daughter was performing at school in the last christmas.

Anyway, I also take care of my daughter's health insurance and some accidental insurance, and I pay most big-chunk of co-payments whenever she visit the doctor. She was born with defective eyes and heart.

My daughter lives too far from me. So, I can see her only once a month. I have to fly to go to see my daughter and whenever I go to see her I have to spend extra money to buy clothes and toys for her.

I easily spend more than a $1000 every month to do all these.

However, the problem is, my ex-wife still want more from me. My ex-wife is not rich. She has a job but she said she doesn't make good money. I don't know how much she actually makes.

Now I am completely single, and there is no tax-exemption for the money I pay for child support. I pay tax as a single person. I can only save few hundreds dollars for my retirement plan every month.

If I pay my ex more than what I pay now. I will barely be able to support myself with no money left to save.

But since my ex says she need more from me to support my daughter, I am thinking to pay her more.

The problem is, I feel like, as more as I help my ex she gets more depended on me. I've been doing my best to support my children (at least financially). I frequently told my ex that I appreciate her for taking good care of our daughter and being a good mother. I think it is important to keep a good relationship with my ex to be a good father. So I've been very nice to my ex and tried to help her financially.

But whenever she need something she says it's because of my daughter. And I am not sure if it is my ex who needs it or it's my daughter. She is like "Your daughter need a better place to live but I don't have money to afford a new apartment" or "I can not get a good-paying job because I am a single mom".

Recently I leanred that my Ex told my daughter, "Poor girl, you are living in a poverty because your daddy is poor."

When I learned that I was very angry. Because I don't consider my-self a poor daddy. I have a decent job and make decent money. I got an excellent health benefits for my daughter through my company and I think I've been paying good money to my ex for my daughter. I've never considered my self as a poor person.

I was really upset by the fact that my ex described me in such a negative way to my daughter. And I realized that all my efforts that I've been doing to remain as a good ex-husband is failing.

To me it seems like, she blames on me for every mis-fortune she thinks she is having.

Few days ago, she said she is thinking about getting my daughter adopted to someone else because she can not affod raising her anymore. Guess what I felt. :-(

I want to take my daughter back if she is serious of doing it. The problem is, I am still a stranger to my daughter. She is too young to remember me just by seeing me once a month. And she never ever want to get a part with me. One day I visited my daughter and asked her if she want to stay with her daddy for one night. Then she started to cry because she is so afraid of getting apart from her mother even for a moment.

So if I take her back now, she will have to go through a terribly difficult time to get apart with her mother.

Now she asks more from me. I don't know what to do. I just can not say simply "NO" to her to refuse. Because my daughter may really need more from me. Also I don't think I can get her back at this time because she is emotionally too close to her mother to get apart.

Please someone tell me. What should I do? Am I not doing enough for my daughter? Should I pay her more? Or should I bring her back no matter what?

Thanks for reading.[/qb]