I would really appreciate any advice regarding my situation.

I have been separated 3.5 years, divorced almost year. I make approximately $7000 less per year than my ex (he makes about $40,000). According to our financial affidavits the court determined that he should pay $1250 for our two children per month. I am the sole custodial parent, as he chose to move out of state. He comes into town about every three months and sees the children for a few hours. He is left with about $1400 per month to live on. I realize that is very little, but at the same time, I am really struggling financially as well. I work at home teaching singing lessons. I have a doctoral degree, but have found that when I work in an academic setting it is just too overwhelming raising two children by myself as well. He is insisting I find an academic teaching position so that I make as much as he does,or that he will take me back to court, saying an attorney told him he could get his payments lowered by $400 a month. I cannot afford an attorney (still owe my last one $200 -- he never paid for half of the divorce as the papers said he should, and I never pressed it).

Question -- does he truly have a shot at having the amount lowered, or does he have the legal right to insist that I go out and get a particular type of job? I do work full-time and make a reasonable living, but he insists I should be making as much as he, which seems completely unfair, as he does not share in child-rearing at all, and somehow finds ways to travel to France, the Carribean and Japan.

Any people who have any experience in this area? I would really appreciate some input. The stress this is causing is overwhelming.

The amount he pays is determined by guidlines in the state you live in. If your situation changed, say you got a better job and made a lot more money, got re married, maybe he would have a chance at getting his payments lowered, or if he had to change jobs and now gets paid less. If you are working I really don't think he can demand that you change jobs just so you can make more so he can pay less. A judge would laugh at him for that. However, if he should get a raise in pay then you have the right to get a review of his salary and possibly raise the amount he pays you. I'm no attorney but a single father that has seen these things before. Not with myself luckily but I've seen my friends have regular reviews of their income. Don't ever let him threaten you. The money he pays you is for your childrens support. The fact that he doesn't like it is just too bad as they are his kids too and he needs to support them. If he threatens you then contact a lawyer and have the fees billed to him.

Thank you so much for your reply. I am seeing an attorney this morning to ask questions, etc. Things that you have said have gone far in easing my fears. Thank you.

quote:

Originally posted by BK:
[qb]The amount he pays is determined by guidlines in the state you live in. If your situation changed, say you got a better job and made a lot more money, got re married, maybe he would have a chance at getting his payments lowered, or if he had to change jobs and now gets paid less. If you are working I really don't think he can demand that you change jobs just so you can make more so he can pay less. A judge would laugh at him for that. However, if he should get a raise in pay then you have the right to get a review of his salary and possibly raise the amount he pays you. I'm no attorney but a single father that has seen these things before. Not with myself luckily but I've seen my friends have regular reviews of their income. Don't ever let him threaten you. The money he pays you is for your childrens support. The fact that he doesn't like it is just too bad as they are his kids too and he needs to support them. If he threatens you then contact a lawyer and have the fees billed to him.[/qb]