Well, I've decided that I'm going to file for child support from my son's deadbeat sperm donar. My son is 3 1/2 years old and I've been able to provide for him - for the most part. My parents help me out when I need it - and I live with them, so that's a great help in itself. But, I want to move out into our own place - make a life of our own and stop relying on my parents as they don't have much money either. I bust my *** working just to never get my head above water. I work in the human services field, which I love and I get to help people, but I'll never make much money in it. I haven't filed up to this point, part of it's been my own pride and refusal to admit that I can't do it on my own. Sounds silly I know...

The other reason is, his name isn't on the birth certificate and I know as soon as it is he will take me to court for visitation - because his mom will make him. He doesn't really care if he sees my son or not - but his mom pushes him to. I'm dreading the visitation battle - and I know as long as his name isn't on the BC, he won't take me to court because it'll cost him a lot of money to do so. I'm not just being selfish or bitter about not wanting my son to be with him - I'm worried for his safety and not sure how much trust I have in the court system to do what's best for my son. My X was in jail, plead guilty to 'Malicious Punishment of a Child' .. every time I think about my son being alone with him, I feel really sick ... I just don't know what I would do if he ever hurt my baby....

I do allow him to see my son - he only cares to visit 2 times a month, for maybe 2 hours at a time - but it's always with me present. I never leave him alone. He used to threaten me alot that he'd take me to court for visitation if I ever went after child support - and that he could take my son and I'd never see him again.

I feel he should be providing for my son - but he'll never do it unless he's forced to do it.

I tend to waiver back and forth between going for it or not ... but I decided today that I need to just go meet with the local child support people and go from there....

I often want to scream at my X when he does visit and has the nerve to complain about how poor he is - hell, he makes more money then I do, lives with his parents and has no parental responsibilities. Ugh! :angry:

My son is 2 and I go Monday to get the paperwork finished to serve his father for the same. Just because you get Paternity established and child support doesn't mean they automatically get visitation. Just remember that.

I have a question...
All of my paperwork has been turned in for my child support case but since he lives in FL and I live it IL they said it could take up to 6 months to go to court. Well the 6 month mark is coming up in June and when I called to check on the progress of my case they said they still had no date set. Does anyone know just how long it takes when the state is going after the father for support?

All I know is that the time frame they gave me today is 2 weeks to get the case paperwork set up they serve him after that 2 weeks, and it's another 30 days until they set a court date. That is just within Indiana--no out of state! I can't imagine trying to set up a case in more than one state and I feel for you! I suppose if they are trying to locate him it could take a lot longer. I am greatful that they don't have to look very far to find my Ex--he's already paying support on his other kids so his address is on the books.

I'd keep calling and find out what is up. 6 months seems excessive.

To Zach's Mommy,

I am currently residing in the state of md and on the custody papers you can deny him visitation if you feel that your child will be in danger, because he plead guilty for "Malicious Punishment of a Child", It could work in your favor. For child support, I too felt the same way, but after battling with it for a year. I take my daughter's father for support. I feel that is the least that he can do being as though he doesn't see her at all. You too should receive some form of payment even if it is $20.00, every little bit helps.