I wish sometimes my divorce was final. I am so mad right now!
I had an appt with my lawyer again friday and Jason(soon to be ex) has hired lawyer #3! No, he doesn't have 3 lawyers, just keep "lawyer hopping". This one is more expensive than my lawyer, but he can't pay me what he needs to be paying. Grrr.....
I am having to make ends meet somehow. Without my parents help, I would be bankrupt by now. But I know they can't afford to keep helping me forever either. When this is finally all over, I am going to have to take out a second mortgage to live. Can't do it now because he is trying to gain interst in my house. Another big Grrrr!!!!
I have managed to work at home this long, but now I am going to have to pick up another income. I cant go back to school untill this is final, can't afford the schooling, gas or daycare for mikayla. Even if I can get federal loans. etc, I still can't pay for mikayla's care and gas.
I have sworn off dating. Where do I have the time or energy. And I just dont want to. I am still very angry and hurt, I dont know how I will ever get over it.
And then I found out from ds(not through prying him for info) that Jason has bought a new living room set and what ds calls "A tv that you hang up on the wall like the movies".(My guess is a new plasma tv) But he can't afford to give me $30 so that ds can play soccer this last fall?!

Sorry, I dont mean to vent this badly, but life just isn't fair. He wanted to leave me and now I have to give up my kids every other christmas. I just want to nail him up on that cross. He acts like this big christain, but I know he isn't. It's such a front.
I am struggling to be a christain so that I can find some way to forgive him, but it's so hard. I never knew that hate can feel this intense, or to love someone just as much as you hate them... untill he left me and I don't know why.

patience, be at peace. Why?? two reasons. bet you know them.

I totally understand your situation. My ex is behind in child support, yet he just bought an IPOD, a new nissan 350Z, and a laptop computer. He goes out just about every night too. he says he "can't afford" to pay me my back child support. uuggghhh it aggrevates me soo much. I feel bad everytime my parents have to buy something for my daughter because I dont have the money for it.

Just hang in there. Things will work themselves out. I wish you the best of luck! if you ever need to rant, I'm here!

You gals have to prouve they can afford their CS payments... When ya have the time, follow them around with a video camra... When you take them to court later, " Lets cut to the video tape PlEaSe!!" Sometimes the court doesn't have the resources to chase deadbeats...


Best to you,
Rich and the " I had a nap " And is STILL UP AT 12:33 AM bug bug Andrew

I am sorry Tammy it so amazes me sometimes how guys can spend money on new gadgets and completly forget the important thing's.

Rich, be realistic, if she doesn't own one, do you really think she could afford to get a video camera? Who the heck has the time to follow someone around all day to see what they're up to and what they're purchasing. She has a lawyer, and she can relay everything she hears to them. I would think they would offer the best advice on getting child support. If he's working, he doesn't have much of a choice, as he can be garnished. I would just keep a log with dates on things he says he can't afford to help pay for in addition (soccer) for his children, and a list (with dates) of new purchases she hears of. Also, keep on that list all the times (and amounts) of money you've had to borrow from your parents,it might help raise the child support.

Coppertone actually complained to me that the only present he got for Christmas was the picture Max sent. I had a reprint made for him and Max made a frame for it, and this idiot actually complained!

I make sure that Max calls at least once a week and he always gives him a gift for bday, Dad's day, and Christmas. I have never gotten anything from his family or from Max for any of those days. When we were together my family and friends called, sent cards, and/or gifts to him.

You wud think that he wud say to himself let me take Max to buy even a card for his mom. So now that he's playing games when it comes to seeing Max, I'm eady to turn the tables!

Rich, I see your point, but when his W-2 stated that his income was $78,000 for 2004 (not sure what it says for 2005, we split in 2004). He has come up with the money to hire 3, YES 3, different lawyers. He just doesn't manage money well. (NOT my fault or concern!) I think he can afford cs payments.
He's paying CS, but not as much as he should according to the state guidelines.
My lawyer has requested his financial records/afdivid (sorry, sp?) and he has not responded. This was requested of him back in Oct, and he had 30 days to respond. Has he done it? Nope.
In Aug 2005 he cut the cs by almost half. He can do this because it's not madated by the state yet. It's according to a noterized agreement between the 2 of us. (yes, we are going for back cs on that one!) I cannot get through his head that I am going back to school, but I cannot do without all the cs I should be getting. He doesnt understand that without my education that I can't afford to put my dd in daycare and my ds in afterschool care along with gas, etc to work. I would not even break even after expenses.
I am keeping records of everything I have. I doing what jobs I can from home, but it's not easy to find something steady with a little one! And I am not a babysitter. I don't have he patience for it day after day.

The part I am worried about, is yes, I believe that what is supposed to happen will, but he works with a military contracting company and there he needs his security clearence. Without, or if he looses it, he can be fired/let go. I am not sure about everything, but if this divorce process can effect that, and he looses it, then that leaves me and the kids alot worse off than we are right now.
I have heard that some types of clearences will take into consideration his credit score/rating. And according to the letter he got for his finance info, he can be held in contempt. That can effect it, I belive. He doesn't understand that his actions are not just effecting me and him, but can effect the kids too.

**Edited to say I live in Gainesville area and he lives in Miami. We are abour 6-8 hours drive apart. It would be extremely difficult to spy or follow him around**

I hope it gets better and soon Tammy.

I also think that it's generally not likely that one person can follow around the other and spy, video tape, or whatever. And honestly it could always backfire and end up them claiming stalking or some such stuff

Anyway, what I really wanted to add for whoever might read through this, it seems you are underway of having this done already.....but....this is why it's always a good idea to have a court order on the child support. I detest having to pay lawyers etc. but if that's what it takes than so be it. If the parents can come to an agreement without the lawyers, perfect, then the next step to cover all bases is have it filed with the courts and get a judges stamp/signature on it.

I can attest to what Don said. My ex and I were pretty much agreeable, but knowing his weaknesses I wasn't leaving him in control and I put everything through domestic relations and the courts. Having that done right away was probably the best thing I did. If we were to do it now, we'd probably need lawyers and wouldn't be as amicable.