My parents decided to use my college "help" as the ultimatum to get me to move out of my boyfriends house the summer after high school. Since I didn't move out when they said jump they decided not to help me at all. Thing is..they had nothing in the bank for me and had defaulted on a loan for my brother's college tuition. I wasn't seeing a dime anyway.

So I too worked my butt off and two kids later I'm in school now.

My parents helped me through 2 years, until I got engaged. After that it was, you're on your own now. I dropped out, worked full time, got married etc etc. When I got divorced, my parents decided that they would help me finish college. All in all, I spent a combined total of 6 years in college to get a 4 year degree because of funding issues and classes not transferring appropriately between schools.

I disagree with the "if you want to go to school, you have to do it yourself" notion due to the fact that I thought I was better off without schooling. I was tired of it, wanted in the real world, and the truth to the matter is, you can't advance past flippin burgers anymore without some form of associates degree or trade school degree. As a parent, it is our duty to prepare our children for their life ahead, and even though legally the age of support is 18, as a parent the age of support, nurturing, and assistance should be for life.

I have bit my tongue thus far, but I have to say that my viewpoint on this whole topic is that your children didn't ask to be here, you brought them into this world of your own desire. In all honesty, if you aren't fit enough to have your children you should feel blessed that there is someone that is stepping up and taking care of them without them getting put in an orphanage and possibly getting separated. Having children is not a game, it is a reality. Once they are here, there is no getting rid of them. Even though they are not with you, they are still your children, your own flesh and blood. You are responsible for them regardless who they live with or where they reside.

-J

Not to sound mean or anything but yes, I do think you should be helping out with your children. I have no idea where my ex and child even live as she refuses to tell me and I have not been ordered to pay anything. Although I don't have much I am sending as much money as I can to her parents every month in the form of a money order in my exes name. I also do my best to send clothes and toys and have started a savings account for my son's collage. I know you may feel like they don't "need" anything but they are still your children. You are very lucky that the grand parents are providing all they are for your children. I just think it would be in your children's best interest if you pay a little support. Even if its only $20 a week every little bit helps. It look better for you in court as well you'll be showing that you can and want to provide for your children.. Good Luck

I learned the hard way, here in this forum that, even though I manage fine on my own, If the mother would be paying, lets say $ 300 per month it would guaranteed my daughters tuition. I'm sure I'll find a way to fund it when the time comes but it would help my mind to already have it.
On everything else I agree 100% with trey's dad, I look at my daughter I don't see my self not giving her something just because instead of being 5 she is 21, 30 or 40 for that matter.