Hello to any who will listen. I am new, and am glad to see I am not the only one with single parent problems.

I have a situation where I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I don't get child support. My baby girl never sees her father, nor do I of course. He is a deadbeat dad with drug issues and felony convictions and first degree misdemeanors up the wazoo. He is currently addressing a Violation of probation hearing and (hopefully) harsh sentencing.

Anyway, he has always paid his child support for his son (not mine) on time and up to date. He has only paid me once, seven months ago, a month after I gave birth when it looked like maybe he would be around.

Didn't happen that way. He's not around, neither is the money. Now me, I would say I don't care I don't want him to pay, I'll raise her on my own without his help. But my daughter deserves a father, but mostly that money is her money, not mine.

I can provide for her fine without his help, and sometimes think I should, but it is not to fair to my baby.

Anyway, I have tried to file with the department of revenue twice for support orders, both times they screwed up the baby's father saying he was someone I never even met before. Once they screwed up the baby for two kids I don't have, wrong daddy, but correct info on top. Anyway, now I am scared and worried that if I make an attempt to go after him for support, he will try to take my little girl away from me, not wanting to pay support as pinishment to me. I just have a sick feeling about it all and would rather him not pay then stir up a storm (that may not even happen.) His ex wife threatened to turn him into the department of revenue once , he was three months late, and he tucked tale scared as a puppy and coughed it up quick, so I think I give him too much credit sometimes.

I don't know what to do. Should I let him bury himself in legal matters both criminal and domestic, or go after his low-life butt?What would you do?

Why in the world would the agency take your baby from you and give custody to this deadbeat with a record? You may not need the money now, but it's his responsibility. Keep filing until they get the paperwork right!

Since you have concerns surrounding possible custody battle, be sure to keep careful WRITTEN records (with names whenever and wherever possible) to back up your argument.

It's a pain right now, but once settled, will be worth it. (The red tape sucks) I still believe the good guy (or girl) wins in the end.

Good luck!

quote:

Originally posted by stardust:
[qb]Why in the world would the agency take your baby from you and give custody to this deadbeat with a record? You may not need the money now, but it's his responsibility. Keep filing until they get the paperwork right!

Since you have concerns surrounding possible custody battle, be sure to keep careful WRITTEN records (with names whenever and wherever possible) to back up your argument.

It's a pain right now, but once settled, will be worth it. (The red tape sucks) I still believe the good guy (or girl) wins in the end.

Good luck![/qb]

Ok, why was I sitting here thinking the same thing. From what all you wrote, initial poster, he has a criminal record. I don't know about the laws in Florida regarding custody and support issues, but that crap doesn't fly in Cali. You have to be dang near strung out, beating your child, homeless, jobless, to sum it all up, a neglectful MOTHER to lose cutody of your child. Not implying by any means that you fit in this category.

I agree with Stardust...keep records of all contacts with this man. Your child's best interest should always come first, but in most cases of disputes, all that goes out the window.

Best Wishes!

I have a journal I keep on him of every visit (or in his case lack there of), and a file of payments (one check he gave two months after my daughter was born that I photcopied). Every week that goes by and I don't here from him, I write it down. When he does come , usually only for an hour, I write that down too.

And every time he does visit her, he makes some remark about my daughter. He said once that she was fat and asked me if my breast milk was tested in a lab to see if it was fattening . What kind of an idiot thinks like that? Another time he said she smelled like vitamins. My point is he never says anything nice about her. Not only that, but her pediatrician has no concerns about her wieght, in fact she said its obvious from the way she looks that my breast milk is very nutritious!

Your input helps a lot, though, and I thank you for that. I know the worries will fade with time. As my friend said, "this too shall pass, he's like a big turd that I just have to push out!"

My mom has a lawyer friend who told me if I had any worries of him coming after me to keep a journal, so I do, and it's getting full too.