OK, so I went to CS Court this morning and the x (Macie & Ambers Dad) did not show. We had a hearing a few months back and after the judge told him to start paying or go to jail he went to my house (while I was at work) and told our girls that he would probably be going back to jail and that it would be my fault because I am making him pay support.....yeah pretty pathetic.Anyways, the girls know what is right and that it will be his own fault.

Back to the subject....he didn't show and the judge ordered a warrent and he won't be relaesed until he pays $3700.00.... So I get back to the office and he calls me to see what happened in court and I told him to call them and find out. He calls back awhile later pissed off and is trying to get the warrent quashed...meanwhile he tells me that until I drop the child support case that he doesn't want to hear anything from his girls...I told him that it was his loss!!!!!!!

Just how ignorant can people get??

What an A**. I don't think I know enough insults to express my feelings towards such looser but also keep in mind that he was upset and would have said just about anything to get back to you and the only way he may know how to do it is through your children (my ex does the same). See it this way, if he does dissapear from your life things are going to be a lot better without him and you don't want such a looser around your children anyway. Uust keep on concentrating in your children and always let your girls know how much they are loved.

No Kdad...he means it. That's just the kind of prick that he is. Yes, I know that they are better off without him but he is still their father and they love him (at least Amber still does).....Macie decided quite awhile back that she was done giving her well deserved attention to him.

Amy, they are aware (VERY) and armed with the truth......He has already spent 1/4 of their lives in prison and have vowed that if he goes back that they will not bother taking trips to go and visit.

Thank you for your advice. I have been dealing at with this for 14 years now and it's to the point where I really feel sorry for what he has become. It is sad and he is a very sick man.

I am really thinking about having the girls sit down and pour their hearts out to him in letters as to how much they have hurt him......I know, I know that he knows, but he needs to hear it from them. Is this right or wrong???

Hi, my name is Candice and I was reading your posts and I thought what I was going through with my daughters father was worse, yet getting the girls to write him letters and express how they feel is a good idea because he can get their emotions and expressions about how they have felt towards him and his actions. I have a 3month old little girl and honestly as a first time parent it's rough with me being a single parent and going to school full-time. I have the support from my family members, yet 24/7 I'm taking care of my daughter Laila. Me and her father were together for a long time and then when I found out that I was pregnant and moved to my moms in Virginia then he changed up whaen I mentioned of not coming back home. He hasn't sent no money here or doesn't even pick up the phone to see how Laila is doing with her chech-ups or nothing. He's not even working and he'll probably get locked back up again just to get out of paying support. I seriously wish it was a way to change the system with pushing more with parents getting more help with the legal system instead of just having the parents waite and waite. I undertsand what your saying about him being a prick and my daughter's father has been everyname in the book to me since I gave birth to my daughter. I would have Laila write her dad a note and express her feeling to him because he can honestly hear what her thoughts and feelings are as to what he's been doing and has done.

Sorry Mashey,

It's all good. As I said, it's his loss. I used to get mad and rage or cry but i'm past that. He doesn't deserve those girls. That's all there is to it!

OK, so the girls aren't up for writing letters to dad....but they were'nt surprised either, I know that they are hurt and keeping it in....angry.

I drove by his house last night and it looks as if he is packing up to vacate town....so, I called a detective at the police station and gave him a heads up on the warrent. He asked me to call the clerk of the courts office to have them fax a copy of the warrent to the pd so that they could pick him up....the clerks office told me that they have to receive the warrent, have the judge sign it, send it back to the CS department and THEN they issue the warrent. This process could take a week....meanwhile, I call my caseworker to find out where we are in this LONG drawnout process....my caseworker went home ill yesterday after our hearing and is out today, so, the order for the warrent is still sitting on her desk!!!!!!!! OMG! This is soooooo frusterating! I practicaly hand this deadbeat posterboy to them on silver platter and they still sit around with their thumbs up there wazoo's (i'm being nice)!!!!!!!!!!!

Meanwhile, the x is going to be all packed up and moved out of town before these dumbasses decide to do anything! Where is the justice??? And is CS working for us or against us??????

How freaking aggravating......The legal system at it's finest.
Really sorry for the girls, they don't deserve to have a father who will cut and run like that. I'd put him in the category of someone that would use their child as a shield in a war zone, alright I'd categorize him much lower than that but don't want to get carried away....especially without a language filter in place.

CS enforcement has had the information on my kids dads for 9 years...no word. I gave them everything, SSN, current addresses, phone numbers, work numbers, everything! NO WORD. The contractor TN had doing CS enforcement sucks.

My first worker had my form on her desk for 4 months before she even processed it. I just found out that the state itself has taken over again and I have to refile, for the 7th time!

People are just inexplicable sometimes, eh Mashey? Your young ladies look happy, healthy and intelligent; what Dad wouldn't want to be part of their lives, even from afar? Well what goes around comes around; he'll regret it eventually...the dumb-ass. Hopefully the girls will be able to let go of their anger asap and move on.

Karma sure is a bitch, that's for sure!

ok....so I was a REAL good girl yesterday, we drove past his house on the way home, it was just Macie and I....I had this REAL BAD urge to tell her that I would'nt see a thing if she were to reach out the window and flip him off....but I bit down on my tounge REAL hard and didn't say a thing What an ass, Amber made the track team and wants to tell him but he won't answer any of her calls! SICK!

I am STILL on CS to get that warrant out, my friend in the courts says that NOTHING has even been moved on it!!!!! It's been a week!

Sorry guys, i'm pissed!

I know it is a very difficult situation but I am not sure lieing is the way to handle it. Kids do need the truth just on their terms, in ways they can handle. Eventually as they get older they will figure it out on their own with no ill words from you.
It's almost like making excusses for the other parent but the kids will get it.

I know you are angry too. For your own sake is there anyway you can let the anger go? Hate and anger is a very difficult heavy burdon to carry, I don't like to see anyone carry it. We don't have control over other people but we do have control over how we react. I wish you the best.
God bless.

I haven't had to tell my girls a damn thing.....they learned it all on their own. They have been dissapointed time and time again. I do take that back. I did tell them what he said about not wanting anything to do with them until I drop the CS case......I did it before he could. I know him and I know what a ruthless bastard he is. He knows that the only way he can hurt me is by hurting those girls first!

As far as the anger, I let that go YEARS ago...it is slowly creeping back with this new flare up tho.

It's very hard to not let the anger take over.... I think I'm past the anger and then some days it flares back up again. My kids also know the truth about their dad.... I will not hide what a loser he is... actually, my daughter has already experienced so many desilusions that she just doesn't want to talk with him any more. She is now at the age where she is starting to compare her friend's divorced parents situation with hers.... her two best friends are also from divorced parents, but both the dads in those situations are very much active in their lives.... there have been times when she comes home crying because her friends' dad went out and bought them new shoes or something while they were over for their visitation.... she comes home and cries and tells me how much of a bastard her dad is for not wanting to participate in her life.... those are the times that my anger flares up again.... because she's right and I won't cover up the truth for her.... instead we go out to a movie or for ice cream or just for a walk in the park.....