It seems that my ex (of four years) is taking me back to modify child support. I was wondering what I'm in for. She didn't even try to discuss this with me to try to come to some sort of agreement, just got a deputies card on my door.

I have a long and sordid story, that I won't bore you with it's entirety. The basics: My kids' (I have four, 12, 11, 8, and 6) mom is a control freak and a narcissist. Always has been. She is a teacher and left me for... you guessed it, one of her students. They lasted for just a month and a half after we separated (he and I actually correspond to some extent) because she met someone else (at least he was her age) and they married 2 months after the divorce.

Anyway, she wants to modify child support, because evidently me paying her CS and the kids' health insurance and childcare expenses and most activity fees isn't enough. Yes, I'm a bit bitter about that, but I know there is not much I can do about it. Sorry, back to the point... What is going to happen with going to the courts to modify? Also, I was not happy at all with my attorney through the divorce and need to find another one, probably. Do you have any suggestions on how I might do that?

Doc� (and for the record, I am NOT a doctor, it's just a nickname I got)

I have never been through a modification, but have a great Lawyer--Mike Nack is his name.

Saw your post and had to reply. My wife is also a narcissist and control freak. I have 4 kids too and ages are quite similar: 12, 10, 8, and 6. Really just wanna give my support. As for the CS, there has to be a significant increase in your pay or decrease in hers (if she works) for her to get a modification. Check your state's CS guidelines or you may be able to find out at your local DHHR or child support office. The internet also has a lot of info you may be able to use.
Good luck!

Usually there has to be some kind of pay change either an increase in your or a decrease in hers. Check your states CS guidelines and the federal CS guidelines. Your state might have an internet site.

As for the lawyer check with other people who are divorced or going through one and see if they might know of someone who is good.

quote:

Usually there has to be some kind of pay change either an increase in your or a decrease in hers. Check your states CS guidelines and the federal CS guidelines. Your state might have an internet site

That is where I found my information about modifying CS. In my state, there has to be at leasta 20% difference in income (+ or -) from the last order before CS can be modified.

I would get a lawyer if she has obtained one and isn't going through the state CSE office.

Modification of Child Support basically means he wants to try and lower his payments using some situation or law to help him out or eliminate support if your child can be emancipated legally (18).

There is nothing really big and most states will give you a lawyer (you would know if you had one the first time you were there). to help you as you are the custodial parent and not the defendant in the case. It is nothing as back as child custody, just means the your payments may change.

I went through a modification last year. When child support was first set up, my ex had a lawyer and I didn't - for drawing up the separation / divorce documents also (oops, boy did I get screwed, so much for thinking we were parting amicably and she would be fair - costly lesson). Anyway, they printed out something from the state website showing how support was calculated for 2 children & what that amount would be, and I signed the papers for that amount, so it just got entered into court without a hearing. Then, about 6 months later, I found out that there was a whole different calculation for parents with shared custody, which factored in how many nights per year with each parent. Basically, I had been overpaying by about $400 each month (no wonder I was always broke). So I showed that to her, and asked her to sign the new forms with the correct amount. Of course, she confessed her innocence over the first error (even though she had bragged to some mutual friends about what she was taking me for - luckily they like me better and told me!), and then she refused to sign the new order. So I had to schedule a hearing, which her lawyer got postponed, and then finally 2 months later got it corrected. Wasn't looking to get any of that money back - was my own stupid fault - just to get it right. There does need to be some significant change in order for a review and change to be done - I was worried the judge wouldn't see any change and deny me because I had been dumb and signed to agree with the initial amount. Luckily, my ex and her lawyer came to court woefully unprepared - fumbled about every time he asked a question, or for any numbers from them. He finally had enough and just granted what I was asking for.