I have a friend that I am assisting with child support expectations, etc.

His situation. Dated a girl briefly for 3 weeks earlier this year. Split up, a few months later found out she was pregnant.

His beautiful daughter was born on 12/20. Her mother (obviously custodial parent) has been reasonable with visitation and him buying items for his daughter for now. She hasn't mentioned child support at all.

So this is where I need your expertise from experiences.

My friend planned on contacting an attorney immediately after her birth. They had dna tests done and he's received the positive results.

I know attorneys are helpful if absolutely needed. But I think with effective communication between my friend and his ex, they can determine whether they can agree on an amount (as recommended by the child support calculator for our state) and if so, file with the prosecuting attorney for free (or $25.00) rather than hiring attorneys and making this a big circus.

Right now, what is at hand is a father that is willing to pay an affordable amount of child support (the amount calculated on the state website) has no idea what direction to go in. Communication is not a strong point for him. Of course everyone tells him to run out and get an attorney. What do you suggest?

I guess what I need is your opinion on this. Have any non custodial parents used the courts without attorneys? Would you do it again or hire an attorney? Please share your experiences and expertise!

Hey,

Last year I filed for Child Support without a lawyer. I would definitely do it again. You know, I remember that I posted on here about it at the time. I remember Don responding to me about it, and me posting follow ups. I can't find the post though; maybe it got lost in the move?

Anyway...the situation was a little different for me being the cp, but I imagine that all parties involved will be surprised/thrilled to have an ncp filing for their own support order. The two options that I had at the time were to have the state CS office apply for me (which they said would take 6 months) or to go to the court house and apply myself. I remember needing the docket number from my divorce case to get the CS order started (obviously he won't need to do that since they weren't married). I had to ask the court house people for some help as to which forms I needed and how I should fill them out, but they were all very helpful and I got a court date for a CS hearing for about a month after I filed.

I remember that there was some flexibility as to how the papers were to be served. I chose to hand them to my ex (getting a signature to prove she got them), but there was the option to have them served to her by a sheriff. Once again, I'm not sure if this will be the same situation for your friend since he's the ncp (but I'm trying to include any info that might help anyone else who may be reading this).

On the day of court, we showed up and registered with some employee there, and then we were called into a back room to fill out our financial papers. This information was put into the CS worksheet for our state, and that resulted in a CS amount. Although the amount was low, I didn't dispute it. My ex cried I remember, but then the employee pointed out that the monthly CS amount was less than her monthly car expense. Since then, I've put every CS dollar into a 529 account for lil B's college, partly because I needed to start saving for college and partly because it prevents anyone from claiming I'm spending his CS on myself.

Anyway...that's all the details I can remember. Things do vary from state to state, but I imagine that the process isn't radically different. I *wish* that I had taken better records at the time; the exact names of the forms I filled out for example. For awhile I've fantasized about posting my actual divorce/custody/CS documents with the names removed, and maybe getting other to do the same until there is essentially a big free legal database available to single parents. Oh, it couldn't help everyone in every situation, but still...a record of what legal documents were accepted by which states at whatever time seems like it could save a lot of people a lot of money in lawyers fees.

Heh...but if your friend does want to use a lawyer, he should use rbb...at least he's not an evil lawyer

Later,
Bobby

Thank you much!!! I was hoping you would post.

All good advice! Wonderful actually!

When I filed for both my son and daughter, I used the prosecuting attorney (free service.) First, I attempted to get them to agree on an amount (very reasonable) and to go file them with me. That didn't happen so I went to the prosecuting attorney.

My son's dad was easy going - went and signed the papers. No problems.

My daughter's dad on the other hand decided to hire an attorney which immediately put me in defense mode. I hired an attorney too. It was expensive but fairly easy because we agreed on everything.

I spoke with the courthouse today. Since he is the NCP, the only way he can file through the courts is if she goes with him and signs the papers. You'd think that the NCP would have more resources to initiate paying child support for their child! You'd think they'd be welcome with open arms!

lol...well lately, a response from me has been a likely thing to hope for Busy Bobby I've been...

That's crazy that there's no process for the ncp to get a CS order by himself...you're right...you'd like that they'd be welcoming him. Ah well...such is our govt...

LOL Thanks, BigBobby. It's true, I'm not an evil lawyer. (I don't care much for lawyers or doctors) I shouldn't say that because there are good ones out there.

I try to check in periodically to provide some pro bono work for members with support issues. Sometimes a phone call is better so I can avoid carpal tunnel.

It's getting tougher to find the time, but I have not forgotten all the great people that are members of this community; people helping each other.

Most of my work involves enforcement of past-due support orders on a contingency basis. However, I often help members with current support issues on a pro bono basis, as time permits.

I'd say they both go, if that is the requirement, and sign the papers.... he doesn't really need an attorney if they both agree on the support amount. Make sure that they also have an understanding on daycare and medical and that it's written in the child support order. If any of his or her circumstances change, then a modification of the support orders can be requested later on. Oh, one more thing, make sure he knows how long his state requires him to pay support for.... some states say 18 or 21... there are exceptions to these ages depending on the state.

I know that in Oklahoma, the most common orders through CSED require the NCP to provide medical coverage for the child and 1/2 of the child care costs if the CP is not receiving child care assistance. If the CP is on child care assistance, then half of the copay is figured into the child support obligation.

I'm not sure how they'll do it in your state, but I can tell you that CSED here has been invaluable to me. They issued an income assignment order the day we got the court order so he didn't have the option of just not paying when he felt like it. That has been very important to me, becasue he didn't pay a dime of child support before that, and we'd been apart for well over a year at that point. Everytime he switches jobs they are very quick to send out a new income assignment order to his new employer and get it started up as quickly as possible.

This is a free service in every state, and I'd recommend them to anyone. Go with it!