My ex hasn't paid child support nor helped whatsoever with the kids since we finally separated 2 years ago. We recently discovered that there is an error in the amount of arrears and he wants me to go and fix it because he doesn't want it appearing on his credit. I don't have a problem with that, but what upsets me is that he up and left and left me with all the bills to pay, he didn't contribute any money whatsoever (we weren't married). Now due to not being able to pay my bills on time, I have bad credit. Another thing is that I would have to take the time to go and do the modification or whatever it is that is needed and I just don't have that time right now. I also told him at the time the error was discovered that if he would make his payments in good faith for at least 6 months in a row, then I would make the effort to see how it can be fixed. Well, it's been more than 6 months and now he just shows up in this area and is harassing me to go and get it done. He could do it via a review but it takes a long time and he would have to come back down to Florida. He is also accusing me of lying to the cs because he thinks that the error was caused by me...when he knows darn well that he was the one that discovered it and called me to let me know. I know he has arrears, but the amount is a bit too much...how much of it exactly, I honestly don't know. So, my question is what would you do?

Honestly, I would tell him to deal with it himself. You would have to go through just as much as he would to take care of it anyway, it's not like you can just walk in and tell them to change it and make it happen.

If there is a mistake in accounting he can discuss it over the phone with them for the most part and they can change it. If it's something that will recquire a modification hearing as in current monthly obligation than he'll have to appear anyway, at least in my state attendance for the hearing is recquired.

Either way, maybe he doesn't understand how the system operates. Perhaps you can give him the phone number to the child support office and tell him to talk to them directly. I think I read another post of yours concerning this before, he just needs to man up and handle his business I think.

In my state, if you have the need to file a mod, you are responsible for the filing fees and court costs. They can get steep.

Don is on the ball (as always). Give him the phone number and tell him to call the CS office.

I hate to sound crass, but it's his problem, not yours. He can't expect you to wipe his butt forever. You have other butts to wipe, he can wipe his own. He's an adult, he can do it himself.

Good luck..

Thank you both, I totally agree with you and I have already told him that he is the party most affected by this so it is in his best interest to do something about it. He already has the CS# because I gave it to him when this whole thing came about. Of course, he proceeded to get angry with me and he no longer had that begging, calm voice, and the real monster came out. One that I'm glad to be rid of. I needed to know if I had done the right thing, because I am standing my ground on this one. I feel like it's doing him a favor and honestly, why should I be helping him if he hasn't made a darn effort to help me and the kids? Lord knows I have struggled and still am. He did tell me that he won't pay his monthly support until the situation with the arrears gets fixed, however long that may be. And Don, yes, I did mention it in another post and your response was "he is only digging a bigger hole for himself". Well, guess what? That is exactly what I told him and just proceeded to hang up on him.

Again, thanks for the responses and Leftover you weren't being crass at all. I like the way you put it...LOL!

I thought I remembered that. And he is digging himself a pit,he is in contempt of court for non payment, not to mention that it is costing him interest on his unpaid balance. And by him not paying current as he should, the child support office won't be quite as nice to deal with for him, but that is his bed, he is making it, let him lay in it.
Still not sure where the mistake part is. Monthly obligation or just the total for arrears. Is he aware that they tack on interest every month on unpaid balance?

The mistake is just in the amount of the arrears, the monthly obligation stays the same. He's aware that it's accumulating interest.

Fl, If I may make a suggestion. See if they will garnish his wages. This makes it so much easier for everyone. He won't like it at first but it keeps you two from having to talk about it, you both would just have to go throught the court house. Don and leftover are correct as you already know.
His actions are not your responsibility no matter how much he tries to blame you for them. You are doing the right thing by standing your ground. Keep it up! :balloon:

If the mistake is just in the arrears, there's a very good chance he can get that taken care of on the phone. But guess he won't know unless he calls I hope he gets to handling his business and stops expecting you to take care of his responbility.

tomany is right also, they should definitely be going for a wage assignment.

They do have a wage garnishment order in place, but because he changes jobs each time his place of employment receives it, it hasn't worked.

I just got off the phone with him because once again he is trying to convince me to do it his way. This is what he told me and this is in his own words, "because if you don't and if we need to go to court, other things are going to happen and there will be a surprise for you". I told him that I would need to take that risk and go to court. By the way, he mentioned to me that he knows for a fact that child support doesn't accumulate interest. That goes to show you how much he's informed and how much he's trying to bully me into doing it his way. No way, I will go to court for the modification hearing. Unfortunately, I have to take his phone calls because I told him to call me to make arrangements with me if he wanted to see his kids. But I will only take his phone calls while he's down here visiting, while he's up in NY, I do not talk to him...actually, he doesn't even call his kids.

By the way, thank you for helping me out with my questions and for giving me the encouragement to stand my ground. I guess he thought that because I have a big heart that he was able to use it to his advantage.

Well for sure they charge interest, wonder if that's the mistake he thinks there is? I wouldn't worry about the threats either, he will have no legs to stand on in court for having been evasive of paying child support. Some more news for him, I hope he doesn't plan on having any tax returns for a while either, they are held and used towards unpaid support. He must change jobs a lot, the last guy I just recently hired I had wage assignment orders in my mailbox within a month's time.

Eh, regardless, good for you for taking care of you and yours, and letting him grow up for himself. I just wish this all didn't mean that in the meantime you weren't receiving support as you should, though if memory serves me correctly, it wasn't really consistent before anyway?

Hi Fl,
Good for you standing your ground. It sounds like for support you both just need to speak to the court house and stay off the subject all together. It's simple. "Talk to the court house it is out of my hands."
As for the interest. Our county or state does not charge it. When my husband got behind in it they did not charge interest but they did take one of his tax returns. This is why we implimented the garnish so all money went through the court house and was recorded. We had to pay $20.00 a year but it was worth it.
I would start keeping records of your conversations and be as abrasive as you can with him. Only give need to know information. If it does end up in court you have a record of conversations and if you are abrasive you will not say something you might regret later. Sometimes when people get angry with me the calmer I will get to avoid the fight. The louder and angrier they get the calmer and more collected I get. It works well when they realize they are not getting anywhere. Just the same the more disrepectful someone gets to me the more respect I pour out. Let him put himself in his own corner. These techniques and he will.
Good for you standing your ground! Keep up the good work!.

Don, I haven't received a penny from him. I have been working two full-time jobs to be able to take care of the bills and everything the kids need and sometimes there is just not enough to go around. Oh and guess what? I just called child support services here in Florida and they don't charge interest, bleh!

Tomany2count, yes! you are right, I have been writing down our conversations so that I don't forget what we said. LOL! I use your same tactic, the louder he gets, the calmer I get and that just gets him more angry. Evidently he is trying to get a passport for some job out of the US (yeah right) and it was denied and his NY DL's has already been suspended. Yes! so the system is finally starting to work. I won't count my chickens before they hatch yet...I have yet to receive money from him...and yes they already have his tax return coming to me, but who knows how much that would be...it doesn't matter, hopefully it's enough to buy my daughter a new bookbag and sneakers.

as a former child support agent for my state, Florida charges interest. You need to let him handle the problem of it being on his credit. That is why it is an option and why they put it on their credit...to make them pay. Now that jobs and other things are big in checking our credit it will show that he owes this debt, wether its right or wrong amount. You need to stick to your guns that he fix it, and the best way to fix it is to pay it off. But if you are persoanlly are concerned you need to contact the original person who did your papers. If it is just a mix up then the amount can be amended...not modified. Usually those are 2 differnt processes.
Good luck and keep your chin up, remember their threats are words because the courts will never fall in his favor for his games

peachie, welcome to the forum.

tomany, Wow, that's the first time I've heard of a state that didn't charge interest on arrears. Yep, always something new to learn. I've heard of a few instances where through hardship filing they stopped charging interest.

FLgurlie, never a penny from him? Geez, and he wants your help. Nope, definitely stand your ground.