I've finally taken action to collect child support from my dead beat ex. When my daughter was an infant, we had a verbal agreement and he paid me $120 a month. Considering he didn't have a well paying job, and I did, this was fine with me. It seems that once she was out of diapers he felt that I didn't need money anymore or something. He was unemployed for sometime, then once he started working again he didn't pay me a dime (other than $150 at Christmas to help with the expenses of "Santa"). Since his overall role as a father is less than impressive, I've decided that i'm going to make him worth SOMETHING. Someday Jewel will question what her father ever did for her so I will at least be able to say "he sent money for you". I know i'm right and I know this money is due to me, yet I still feel like a jerk! I suppose the main reason is because his mother watches Jewel for me while I work and saves me the expense of daycare, and he lives with his mother and pays her money to help her with the household bills. I guess I feel like i'm taking money from her. BUT for all this time he could have worked to get himself a better paying job (he's more than capable...just lazy) or picked up a part time job. If he would have made an effort to give me SOMETHING I would have been happy. Or if he couldn't give me something, he could have arranged a visitation schedule with me so that I could have some me time, or picked up a part time job myself. Right? Or am I really a jerk? *sigh* Maybe this guilt is just left over emotion from a 10 year abusive relationship. Someone kick me one way or the other please.

I've told my ex plenty of times that it's called CHILD support, not ex support. I was able to take care of myself long before I met him and will be able to take care of myself long after he's gone. The way I see it, I had to file because Sofia isn't able to fend for herself and it is my responsibility to look after her rights.
I make much more than my ex and guess what, he has to pay a good chunk of support because he rarely sees her.
While I was hemming and hawing about whether to file, one of my friends said she filed for child support because she felt like a beggar every time she asked her ex for money. That hit home with me, so then I applied. Now it's in the county's hands and he has to answer to them, not me, when he isn't manning up and taking care of his responsibilities.

By the way, I love Cleveland! My grandma lived for many years in Cleveland Hts, (she died last May) I have many happy memories there.

-Teresa

Lately I have felt really guilty for making my ex pay all his child support. He has a good job and so he has to pay quite a bit (enough for me to be able to stay home with the kids) and this past year he bought an expensive car and is having problems making the payments "because my child support is much." He has had to move back in with his mom because of it. I know it's not my fault that he is a horrible money manager and is STUPID, but I still feel bad. You are absolutely doing the right thing. She is his child too, and therefore also his responsibility.

Well my appointment is tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. so wish me luck. *sigh* Why am I so nervous about this? I'm usually a lot cooler about things like this.

Teresa, I don't live very far from Cleveland Hts. at all! Cleveland Hts. is a great area. Did you ever visit Coventry or Little Italy? I love the Cleveland area (even with the lake effect snow ) and don't ever plan to leave.

Hi again-
I've been all over Cleveland, I'm sure I've been to these places too-- My grandma lived off Lee Rd. on Corydon Rd. She spent the last 10 years of her life in a facility on E. 109th St. My family's from a town near Buffalo NY, so I know all about lake effect snow (and I don't miss it!).

Good luck at your appt, just remember you are doing this for your girl. And don't worry about how your ex is going to pay child support! That's for him to worry about, not you.
You have enough on your plate as a single parent without worrying about your ex too.