So I looked up a Child Support Calculator for the state I'm in and was astounded by what it said a NCP would be paying.

Recently I had a kid with a dear friend of mine in another state. This was not planned and as the father I have a responcibility to help take care of this kid. When I plugged in our monthly paychecks into the calculator it came out with about half of my monthly income.

Now this is my dilima. I dont make much as it is and taking away that much money from a single parent of three other boys makes it

1.)Impossible to pay rent
2.)Immpossible to eat
3.)Immposible to work

I have the opion of doing one of these eating, working, or living with a roof over our head. My question to the single parent society is...... Is this a fair thing? While society demands so much from a NCP making life easy enough that the CP can stay home and live off the income child support brings in and the NCP has to go find a second job just to make ends meet. Oh not to mention when a second job is found the CP demands more child support and then trys to lower visitation rights cause "He/She never sees him. He/She seems to busy with work. Its Like He/She doesnt even care about this kid we had togeather"

Ok now here is my real problem with the issue. The CP does not work wich does not bother me it just allows my new son full attention from mommy wich is a good thing however she has 3 other kids. being that what i would end up paying is more than half of what she made when she was on her own does this make me support the other 3 kids who are not mine and arnt reciving support from thier fathers? Not that I have a problem with that but I would like to hear that from a Judge one day.

"I am so sorry sir/mam about the rate of child support but if your the only one working then those other kids need you too. with out your help they might starve. It does not matter if you're not the father what matters is you have a job and we can get enough outta you for one child to support them all"

Now if I had heard that I would be less likely to moan and gripe I would just **** it up and do my part for society but that is gonna be a cold day in Washington when I hear that

I hear your argument....but from my end of things....

I've worked making an average of about $12 an hour for 10 years. My Ex has bounced from a Hooter's Fry cook to a Dominos Mgr and back and has also taken on Nat'l Guard in the last 10 yrs. Our original agreement had him paying $59 a week and has never been refigured. He hasn't paid since July 2006...yet the prosecutor's office hasn't done a thing.

I don't see how he's buying my daughter a Wii system, has about 75 new movies on his DVD shelf and is partying away while I had to quit my job and go on welfare because I couldn't pay the before/after daycare for his daughter so I could go to school.

You see..the system doesn't work. If NCP all over would just be responsible enough to support the children, remember that they need to figure in heating, clothing, housing, utilities and food portions and pay to the CP...we wouldn't need the system. But too many CP are jerks about the whole thing and too many NCP think they can go without paying (which is true b/c my son's dad has a bench warrant b/c of failure to pay and the sheriff won't go get him?!).

I'm sorry that the calculator said what it did. You don't have to go through the calculator if you and the CP come to an agreement you can get that in writing and leave it at that.

Did that calculator factor in your other children at all? Child support as figured by a judge does figure in for other children that you are already paying support for/or are supporting.

quote:

Originally posted by Don:
Did that calculator factor in your other children at all? Child support as figured by a judge does figure in for other children that you are already paying support for/or are supporting.

Don No i have not done this yet but this is my complaint. Mine is the part for a single parnet of one kid giving up half thier paycheck to suport a kid while the other does not. I was thinking more along the lines of other parents not myself. I have been told that because of my other kids that it wiill be low like along the lines of really low like the min. of 25 a month this then raises my next question. Is a CP is reciving 25 a month for support as court ordered then OMG how is this suporting the kid? Is there any way to win for both parents? The situation i gave the calculator was 1 kid 1 CP 1 NCP and the wages were 1200 NCP 1400 CP and it would have the NCP paying 500 and something. how can the NCP live on whats left of about 700 a month and still work? And we wonder why we have so many ppl on welfare in the states.

quote:

Originally posted by Blindsky75:
I hear your argument....but from my end of things....

I've worked making an average of about $12 an hour for 10 years. My Ex has bounced from a Hooter's Fry cook to a Dominos Mgr and back and has also taken on Nat'l Guard in the last 10 yrs. Our original agreement had him paying $59 a week and has never been refigured. He hasn't paid since July 2006...yet the prosecutor's office hasn't done a thing.

I don't see how he's buying my daughter a Wii system, has about 75 new movies on his DVD shelf and is partying away while I had to quit my job and go on welfare because I couldn't pay the before/after daycare for his daughter so I could go to school.

You see..the system doesn't work. If NCP all over would just be responsible enough to support the children, remember that they need to figure in heating, clothing, housing, utilities and food portions and pay to the CP...we wouldn't need the system. But too many CP are jerks about the whole thing and too many NCP think they can go without paying (which is true b/c my son's dad has a bench warrant b/c of failure to pay and the sheriff won't go get him?!).

I'm sorry that the calculator said what it did. You don't have to go through the calculator if you and the CP come to an agreement you can get that in writing and leave it at that.

Ok this is just my thought before i rush off to make 11 dolars and hour b ut even with out a kid there you would still need the heating electric and all that good stuff. Im not saying it shouldnt be factored in but not all of it. a poortion of it and then half cause it is not only his reponcibility but also yours for the kid. but that is just my thought prossess. Im lucky enough to not recieve any child support for my two I have and the other I have that aint mine but is hers. I would be nice but then again I really dont want her to have any reason to talk to me or say something along the lines of why dont they have this I made my ppayment of 135 for 3 boys 5 months ago. type thing. I do see where you are coming from and sadly this is a reason why lots of single parents are in the system and its not thier faults its just the way our beloved goverment rolls the dice

Oh and Don did you move my topic? I can never find things when they are put where they belong?

Yes, I did move it to the appropriate forum.

And I do hear what you're saying about child support and NCPs. I was there for years myself paying child support for my middle daughter for 19 years, and the first 8 years of my youngest....until I took custody and now receive no support for her. But thankfully I have an established business that brings in enough income that I don't NEED that support anyway.

I'm not so sure that there is any real middle ground to all of this where both win. I spent years paying support from minimal paying jobs that due to the calculations left me without enough money to pay rent, utilities, etc unless I lived with someone that would at least cut a lot of living expenses in half that way. To have lived alone paying rent etc. was impossible. But truth be told the support I was paying wasn't all that much either, and in fact most of the time it was actually paying the state back for the mothers that were on welfare. Speaking of which, even the welfare received doesn't allow much to pay all of the bills with, without subsidizing it somehow, living with someone to keep the bills lower.....some states are worse/harder than others due to cost of living and yet the welfare amounts per state (that I'm aware of) don't vary as much as what it costs to live per state.

To me it really just parallels or speaks to the situation in this country in general, about certain income levels and the overall difficulties living on those incomes whether supporting children or not, though yes when supporting children CP or NCP is even harder in the lower income brackets.

quote:

Ok this is just my thought before i rush off to make 11 dolars and hour b ut even with out a kid there you would still need the heating electric and all that good stuff. Im not saying it shouldnt be factored in but not all of it. a poortion of it and then half cause it is not only his reponcibility but also yours for the kid. but that is just my thought prossess. Im lucky enough to not recieve any child support for my two I have and the other I have that aint mine but is hers. I would be nice but then again I really dont want her to have any reason to talk to me or say something along the lines of why dont they have this I made my ppayment of 135 for 3 boys 5 months ago. type thing. I do see where you are coming from and sadly this is a reason why lots of single parents are in the system and its not thier faults its just the way our beloved goverment rolls the dice

No I agree that a NCP or CP should neither one be paying for more than their equal share. BUT>>>considering that childcare alone was more than the $59 a week I was ordered to get...where does his share really go? At one point I was paying $139 a week for daycare for an infant, plus my rent and had to share a bedroom with her and have a roommate to pay for it all. Now I have to have a two bedroom apartment for the three of us because of state laws so rent is higher. Electric and heat goes up due to the size of the place as well.

I'm just saying that when you figure in medical costs, school or daycare, clothing, etc. the CP really in some cases gets the raw deal. I literally had to leave my job and live on welfare because I couldn't keep not paying rent to pay daycare. (Daycare wouldn't let me live there ) I lost my child care assistance by $50 which happened to be figured from the last child support check I received over a year ago from my Ex.

I now get $139 a month from welfare and food stamps that are more than enough. The cash asst. doesn't pay enough to get toilet paper , gas to get to appointments (soon to be bus fare), my phone, electric, gas and rent...so I have had to drive to the trustees office regularly to supplement.

See...the government punished me for voluntarily leaving my job. I don't get the full amount of cash assistance for six months..that 139 is just for my daughter. The trustee punished me for 60 days and wouldn't help pay until then. The heat/electric asst. place didn't start until December..so I barely kept my lights on.

I know I could keep going on this for days and days. I know you see both sides of it. I just find it ridiculous that those of us trying to do right get nothing. We are forced to either look like a deadbeat or starve. I don't know how many times I've fed the children and not myself in the past when I was working.

I could offer a couple of suggestions here but I'm afraid it is going to be misinterpreted. Let me think how can a I phrase it and I'll get back to you.