THIS IS JUST SO I CAN BLOW OFF SOME STEAM. IT BURNS ME UP THAT A MAN CAN MAKE A CHILD AND LEAVE THE WOMAN TO CARE FOR THIS CHILD.WHILE HE'S OUT LIVING HIS LIFE DOING WHAT EVER HE WANTS IM HERE TRYING TO TURN THIS 7 YEAR OLD INTO A MAN, BY MYSELF. IT JUST AINT RIGHT.

Ditto!!

Yeah mine finds more time to be with his friends than his girls. And not long ago I found his other profile on yahoo that says he likes to go dance his ass off at rave clubs in Chicago. He thinks I need to get out more. Well he doesnt realize that your own children are your responsibility and not someone else's for the most part. That's not to say that it's wrong to have a babysitter to go out but he goes out all the time. If something ever happened I always think how sad it will be for the girls cause they will spend more time with grandparents or whoever than their own father.

My son's in and out father told me "I have another life on the weekends now" which I take to mean he has a female friend (which is great if you take care of your child). Until recently, I enabled him to be in and out of my son's life, always thinking that tomorrow would be the day that he would turn into a real man and not only take responsibility but be there emotionally for my son - that day hasn't happened and I know never will. There comes a point that you realize that your child is better off being with you surrounded by positivity and love and with people who love to be around him - rather than someone who feels as though they're a burden.

My ex got married to a girl that has a kid and now they have one on the way. Now I left him last May and he got married in November. It burns me up that he doesnt give me a dime for his son but can take care of her kids. My son is better with me where he gets 100% of my love 100% of the time.

I know the feeling, trust me. My ex left me a voicemail message that he's going to fight me tooth an nail re: our kids. What I can't seem to comprehend is what is he fighting for? I took him to child support so he can fulfill his obligation..in my mind there are not questions asked? and he knows that every single child is his...so what the f@#k is he fighting against?

Sorry, just had to let some steam out.

i agree, mine wont pay either but thinks he still gets all the rights! luckily in florida if they dont pay they have no rights AND if it is the system if they dont pay they go to jail! but it seems we still have to go to court to get them to take care of their responsibility! WHY??? i know there are good men out there and lots of them here in our support group, hope i get to meet one one day cuz i want another, not with the current ex though....

not only that but he is out partying too and is actually trying to do something, not sure what yet, but something bad to me when i am the only one that has supported her and been there yet for our child!

My children's father whom they haven't seen in three years, owes $27K in Child Support, and hasn't even provided moral support, is remarried to a woman with five children. He himself has six children between four different women...I have two sons by him and he is totally disgusting...Trust me, I feel all of your pain on this forum. I have finally figured it out (why I am a single parent). To teach my two boys to be respectable young men and don't follow suit. Remember, learned behavior is what our children follow. Let's keep this in mind and we will all be better off. Take care and happy posting!
Jada

exactly the reason i am not really happy about my daughters father being around. i dont want her thinking that it is ok for men to abandone their gf's (first not even considering marriage if she is pregnant) then leaving, then coming back, cheating, being abusive and leavingagain! and to top it off, not even supporting the baby. i wonder if my ex would want her to meet a guy like him?

oh yeah, i forgot to even mention the partying. buying dope is much more important than supporting his daughter

I said to my ex, once, "How do you think my father feels about you? Gets his daughter pregnant, but wont help with financial support? Do you want your daughter to find someone like you?" of course, he never answers me. Truth hurts. He doesnt like to deal with the truth. This is HIS world. Ha ha

All I can say is the day that the law actually start to bring actual consequences to these guys for not paying child support, that'll be the day that maybe this world will be a better place. In the mean time, I am owed $31,000.00 in arrears and it only took them ten years to put him in jail. Guess what??? By the time they finally jailed him he was so strung out on drugs and alcohol, that he didn't care anymore. You see, in NY, it takes them years to put a deadbeat in jail. But guess what? Even if he's in jail and refuses to get a job, he still gets a free lawyer, so instead of owing me $75 per week for two kids, he now only owes $25 per month. Parenthood is just great...lol. But seriously, you can't dwell on this stuff, it is what it is. And we can all improve this world by molding decent human beings who are taught a sense of morality, responsibility and respect for others. It is what it is. That's truly our only hope!!!
Good luck to all of you, people like us are what puts the word "decent" in the world.

quote:

Originally posted by openminded1978:
[qb] THIS IS JUST SO I CAN BLOW OFF SOME STEAM. IT BURNS ME UP THAT A MAN CAN MAKE A CHILD AND LEAVE THE WOMAN TO CARE FOR THIS CHILD.WHILE HE'S OUT LIVING HIS LIFE DOING WHAT EVER HE WANTS IM HERE TRYING TO TURN THIS 7 YEAR OLD INTO A MAN, BY MYSELF. IT JUST AINT RIGHT. [/qb]

I feel for you, the father of my two boys has 4 kids total. Guess what? He wasn't there for any of them!!! If your child didn't have you, he would be in a lot of trouble. So remember how wonderful you are, walk straight and strong, and be a good mommy!!! Remember, your son will reflect on you, so just do the best you can, that's all you can do...good luck.

After reading all of these messages I am really nervous about the future. I am pregnant and the dad told me he wanted to be involved, but then all of a sudden fell off the face of the earth. I am going to file for child support and for full custody, but I am really dreading the fight that lies ahead. Any advice on how to handle this from square one??

I know how all u ladies feel. The ex is soooo consumed in what he is doing to care wht his 2 boys are doin. He is only $4300.00 behind in CS and I already have a court date for 6-30-05 w/AG to do something about CS and insurace that he is suppose to carrying on them. He hasnt had insurance in 3 yrs since we divorced. But has money to buy a newer truck, horse trailer and all the drinkin he does. That would have been enuff to pay for Cs. I just dont see how the state will let it go so far and for the ex's to get so behind in child support that it accumulates into the 20's and 30's of thousands of dollars. Why dont they do something when its only 1 or 2,000 behind and put them in jail for a reality check the 1st time no 1st or 2nd chances. Hopefully it will get better for all of us.