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singem1
"Parent on Board"
Parent on Board
Posted
I am expecting my first child very soon and after a lot of thinking and crunching numbers decided to ask my ex to contribute financially. He however believes that since he thinks the baby should be given up for adoption and I chose to keep the baby and raise him on my own that I am the sole responsible one. He tells me that if he doesn't want the baby then he isn't responsible. However it is my belief that if he is not going to be supportive to his son emotionally or physically, then he needs to be responsible somehow and that is financially. How do I get him to understand that this is for the child and is not a way to get back at him? He makes me feel as though me asking for support is saying that I will not be able to handle the responsiblities of motherhood. Therefore the baby should be put up for adoption. He continuously tells me I will have more children someday and I would get over it if I gave my baby up and that I will meet a man that will make me happy and who I will want to have more children with, but right now is just not a good time for me. Who is he to decide anyway? We both made this child and I want to take responsibility as a mother and raise my child. To me adoption because of financial situation is a permanant solution to a temporary situation... maybe I am wrong, or it is just the hormones that make me feel this way but I want to raise my son damnit and I want his father to be responsible too!
 
Posts: 196 | Location: Saint Louis, MO | Registered: 02 November 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Destinys mom
Active Board Parent
Posted Hide Post
Sucks to be your ex because the law is on your side!!! Not only will he have to pay support but as well part of you medical attention per and post delivery!!!! Ask him what he thinks of that for a wild card......Peolpe are such losers they think that they can play and play and play and never have to do anything when the palying gets a little rough... What did he really think that he was shooting blanks!!!!! Come now peolple can not be that dumb!!!!
Good luck to ya!!
Amanda
 
Posts: 204 | Location: Indianapolis | Registered: 11 September 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
HopesMommy01
Board Member
Posted Hide Post
go to your local child support office and speak with them..if you recieve any form of state aid...i.e. medical help or anything then they will help you set up and go after child support. They will require him to take a paternity test and then they will help you get what your child rightly deserves. I am going the a child support battle with my ex at the moment. We were never married and since Hope is on Missouri Medicaid for insurance they are helping me go for the support. I support you 100% in your decision to keep your baby.. when my mother first found out I was pregnant I was 19 and she went as far as to tell me to abort the baby.. I was furious!!!!! Hope is now 2 and though there have been many bumps in the road and I am still not as financially stable as I would like to be I wouldnt change anything about my decision to keep her!

if anyone wants to chat off the board I have messenger services Smiler

ItsJustMeJeanine*aol.com
ItsJustMeJeanine*yahoo.com
ItsJustMeJeanine*hotmail.com

would love to hear from other single parents, especially those in my area!

~*~Jeanine~*~
 
Posts: 39 | Location: Saint Joseph, MO | Registered: 12 August 2003Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
Kenn
I am New to SFV
Posted Hide Post
this sort of thing realy sickens me. If a man fathers a child, wether he wants it or not, he is still a father. and obligated, morally, ethically and LEGALLY to offer finacial support. Good Gods, its his child too. the law is on your side. use it.


quote:
Originally posted by singem1:
[qb]I am expecting my first child very soon and after a lot of thinking and crunching numbers decided to ask my ex to contribute financially. He however believes that since he thinks the baby should be given up for adoption and I chose to keep the baby and raise him on my own that I am the sole responsible one. He tells me that if he doesn't want the baby then he isn't responsible. However it is my belief that if he is not going to be supportive to his son emotionally or physically, then he needs to be responsible somehow and that is financially. How do I get him to understand that this is for the child and is not a way to get back at him? He makes me feel as though me asking for support is saying that I will not be able to handle the responsiblities of motherhood. Therefore the baby should be put up for adoption. He continuously tells me I will have more children someday and I would get over it if I gave my baby up and that I will meet a man that will make me happy and who I will want to have more children with, but right now is just not a good time for me. Who is he to decide anyway? We both made this child and I want to take responsibility as a mother and raise my child. To me adoption because of financial situation is a permanant solution to a temporary situation... maybe I am wrong, or it is just the hormones that make me feel this way but I want to raise my son damnit and I want his father to be responsible too![/qb]
 
Posts: 5 | Location: portsmouth NH | Registered: 05 April 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
navybear
I am New to SFV
Posted Hide Post
Make up your own mind and Make him pay if you keep the child!!!! take him to court and forget that buthole!!!!!


quote:
Originally posted by singem1:
[qb]I am expecting my first child very soon and after a lot of thinking and crunching numbers decided to ask my ex to contribute financially. He however believes that since he thinks the baby should be given up for adoption and I chose to keep the baby and raise him on my own that I am the sole responsible one. He tells me that if he doesn't want the baby then he isn't responsible. However it is my belief that if he is not going to be supportive to his son emotionally or physically, then he needs to be responsible somehow and that is financially. How do I get him to understand that this is for the child and is not a way to get back at him? He makes me feel as though me asking for support is saying that I will not be able to handle the responsiblities of motherhood. Therefore the baby should be put up for adoption. He continuously tells me I will have more children someday and I would get over it if I gave my baby up and that I will meet a man that will make me happy and who I will want to have more children with, but right now is just not a good time for me. Who is he to decide anyway? We both made this child and I want to take responsibility as a mother and raise my child. To me adoption because of financial situation is a permanant solution to a temporary situation... maybe I am wrong, or it is just the hormones that make me feel this way but I want to raise my son damnit and I want his father to be responsible too![/qb]
 
Posts: 2 | Location: milton, fl | Registered: 30 April 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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