Hey,

Has anyone here set up a second child support hearing before? I'm interested in what I need to do to get a hearing, whether I'll need a lawyer, and what I'll need to bring before the judge.

When my ex-wife and I divorced, I was so happy to get custody that I didn't give much thought to child support. Honestly, if I had fought for money she probably would have fought for custody, so I think that I made the right decision. When we wrote our separation agreement, we agreed to fill out the Massachusetts Guideline for Child Support worksheet every six months and that would be the child support amount. The judge agreed to this, even though at the time the amount was $0.

Well, it's been over 4 years and that worksheet still comes out to $0. The problem is that I make 3 or 4 times more than she does, and I don't think that's ever going to change. A couple years ago, I heard from my tenant that judges usually order a minimum of $50/week, and my ex did pay that for awhile. Still, that works out to a whopping $2400 a year...and she hasn't paid *that* in 6 months.

Really, it's not like I need the money...my son already gets everything he needs. It's just the principle of the thing...she goes out with her friends several times a week, she's taken trips to Europe, she gets new clothes and CDs regularly...everything before she pays her child support. She bought herself a pretty expensive cell phone a couple weeks ago, and today she excitedly told me about the new car she bought(well...new to her, and newer than my truck). That kind of put me over the edge and I politely told her that I'm going to look into a new CS hearing.

Really, if the judge decides that I shouldn't get anything than I'll be fine with it...I just want someone to take a second look at the situation. She's making less than me because she refused to give up her childhood and take care of her responsibilities...it seems like she shouldn't be excused from CS for that. She stopped paying the $50/week last year because she was unemployed for most of it while she was looking for a job...am I correct in thinking that she would have had to get some kind of a job during that time if we'd had a real CS order?

If I can't do this without a lawyer, then it may end up costing me more than I could hope to get out of the decision. If I try to get too much, it might make our relationship too strained and that wouldn't be good for our son. I just want someone in authority to look at this and tell us what's fair, because without an order I think that she's going to see whatever money she has "left over" as fair forever.

Later,
Bobby

If you want you could always file for a modified child support hearing. Right at your local court house for just the cost of filing fees. You'll both be required to fill out the same worksheet it sounds like you are currently filling out already. The judge probably will just use that to determine child support.
Is that amount coming up $0 because of her being unemployed during that time or because of the fact that you make 4 times the money she does.

Is she at least being a good mother? You mention straining the relationship which wouldn't be good for your son. I didn't ask for support from my daughter's mother when I got custody, heck I'd be happy enough if she'd just step up and be a good mother.

There have been a lot of times that I suggested to fathers to give up child support and settle for custody too; risking custody isn't worth any amount of money. At this point, I doubt that my ex could get custody, but just bringing me to court, particularly if she starts slinging mud, would cause enough trouble that it'd be worth losing thousands.

But still...how many times have mothers come on the board and gotten the advice to go after the father for child support...that it's the right thing for them and their child? My son's mother isn't horrible...she picks him up for her visitation weekends and she goes to his basketball games. She'd be better if she put providing for her son ahead of pampering herself, however, and she's not going to start doing that on her own.

We haven't filled out the worksheet in a long time. After it worked out to zero several times (due to my income being much more than hers), and then her income went down (ultimately when she was unemployed) while mine went up it just seemed pointless. The worksheet makes a point that it is only a guideline, however...a judge is free to increase or decrease the amount to whatever they believe is fair.

Anyway, I called the Child Support Enforcement office today and found what steps were necessary to get a new hearing. I told my ex about this on the phone a few minutes ago. It went pretty well. I've gotten good at being nonconfrontational, and I also think she isn't as quick to anger anymore. Who knows...maybe the judge will think $0 is a fair amount...I'll just be happy to get a final decision.

Later,
Bobby

Don't get me wrong Big Bobby, I'm all for "what's fair is fair" across the gender board on supporting children. Just not so sure what the judge will grant with the differences in income.

Let us know how that new hearing goes.

There should be some kind of state minimum that is required, since no one can support a child on zero. Good Luck with the hearing.