I live in Nova Scotia, Canada. My ex and I made an out of court agreement on child support. I'm required to pay $81.50 per month plus summer clothes, school clothes, school supplies, gifts, and $3000 towards collage when my sons old enough.. My question is how to I properly pay the child support and give him the clothes ect without it be considered a gift? I don't have any checks.. would I be able to put the money directly into her account and mail her the clothes and what not and just keep the reciepts?? Thanks.

I would either open a checking account, or use money orders. On each one write child support for that specific month and keep all those records.

For clothes, keep all the receipts as well, and consider sending in a documented method...not sure how Canada does it but here we have several options including certified where they have to sign upon receiving the package as proof.

Thanks Don.. I don't have my son's birth certificate or anything. Could I open a checking account in my name and send my ex the card? Are money orders better then direct deposit?

If you do open the checking it will be in your name, your account and just send a check every month.
If YOU can keep a record of those direct deposits, including notations as to it being for a specific month support, than that could work also.

I will try the direct deposit thing and if they can't give me the proper records I will send money orders.. Can I put right on the money order that its for support? My ex will not give me her address she wants me to send everything to her parents. Is that legit?

Yes you can put whatever note you want on the money order, just like a memo section on a check.
Depending on your situation.....as long as you don't have a restraining order on you, are a threat to her....you should be able to know her address. But yeah, otherwise it doesn't matter TOO much if you sent that to her parents.

I used to send cheques as part of my $1200 a month child support obligation (heck, "obligation" sounds like a burden -- I paid for everything for my kids since day 1 - nine months, why should I think it a burden after divorce?) but discovered that their mother would not cash the cheque and claim I was "late".

So, I started wire transfers directly to her bank account, and get faxed proof of receipt, as well as a record from my bank.

If you open a checking account in your name and your child's name, then transfer money to your child's account every month, these payments are well documented through monthly statements which most banks will allow you to log in on online and download old activity. The banks are usually using such features to get you to use their bank instead of their competition, so it shouldn't be a problem. These transactions in your bank statements and anything you print out online are considered legal documents as they show the date and payments are posted to your account along with any other important information on there.

If your child is too young for this which I just think I picked up in the last post, then the checks are fine. If she doesn't cash them then that is her problem. There is no legal court order so you are not obligated to do this so she can't get you in trouble and support only begins when she physically files, not from birth. So really she is scr*wing herself in this aspect as she really should be grateful she doesn't have to go to court. If she does she just get the same deal you are getting now with payments coming out of your check automatically so she cant play games like this again. Bluntly put she can't make a big deal if you pay or not so she should be grateful you are paying to begin with.

As for clothes and things of this nature, you should put all receipts in a folder like I do. I have a folder in my desk that is nothing but receipts (some dating back so far you can't even read them anymore) because receipts are legal documents. That will be more then enough if she decides to play games with you.

Seems like she is vindictive, document everything so that if she does try and pull something, you can use it against her later to take custody since your child doesn't need a mother like that raising your child. Chidlren should be raised in a loving atmosphere, not a vandictive one. I hate my EX wife, but never will I discuss her in front of my children nor mention anything of a bad nature in front of them. It is there right to learn for themselves what their mother is like, and they will in time.

I wonder if you could use a paypal account for this. There are no fees if you do not use a credit card ever to transfer funds. And it would leave a trail.

The CP would need to have a paypal account to receive the money.

I suggested pay pal as well.. She told me she will come up with something but I made it very clear to her that I wouldn't be paying in cash. I want something that can be traced.

JC,

If you know her bank account number and the bank address, they cannot stop you from depositing into her account on a timely manner. You keep the deposit slips and cancelled checks as receipts. She automatically has the funds available unless she deposits it back into yours... and in that case don't tell her your bank account number.

Yeah wow....I suppose I can see where direct funds transfers would come in handy.....I've never had to deal with someone NOT cashing a check or holding it to claim it was late. I've only had to prove that I did indeed make certain months payments by showing cancelled checks.

Can you add notations to those deposits that state something like "December child support" ?

I had to spend $120 to get my son's xmas gifts to him at my ex's parents house because they live over 2 hours away and she refused to give me an address.. I told her today that I wanted to send her a money order so she can buy some new things for our son that he didn't get for Christmas she then gave me her parents address so at least I have somewhere to send things to. Is she really allowed to withold her address from me? How would it look on her in court that she moved 5 hours away without even trying to tell me about it and now refuses to even give me her own address to send her money. I wish I could understand what is going on in her mind.. she must have some reason for all of this and I wish I could get it cleared up she doesn't want to talk about it.

Well, I started to write a reply....but realized I was off base when I looked at the first post again. All you have right now is an out of court agreement between you and her about support. What about visitation? How are you supposed to see your child, meet at her parent's house? What if she decides that you won't be seeing your child the way she has decided that you are not allowed to know her address.
Consider having this go through the courts.