JOecandy,

It sounds very peculiar... like she's hinding something more than just your son.

I hope you're not the only one she says is the father of the child.

Don you always have very useful advice. How do I start the court progress.. I really don't have a lot of money right now do lawyers offer any payment plans? Do you have an idea of how it would play out it court? If there was no agreement before will I have to pay back support for the last three years? Is there a payment plan for this? Do I have a good chance at visitation? will it be possible for me to visit my son without her there. She makes me very uncomfortable.

I just heard from a friend of a friend that she is having a party on the 25th at her apartment.. she only invited 7 or 8 people but they will be drinking in the apartment and I wouldn't doubt if some people were smoking drugs outside. My son will be home during all of this... I wonder if there would be a way I could prove of this happening.. I think it could help me in court.

joe, I don't know enough about Canada to guide you too much. You could go into the Canada forum in here and perhaps get some ideas about the lawyers etc. there.
Typically though child support "obligation" doesn't start until it is filed for, I know that here that support payments would start from the date of filing. Have you been apart for the last three years?
You'll probably want to call around to different lawyers and get an idea of what they would charge, if they would take payments with a retainer fee etc.
Not real sure about the party thing. I mean if it's considered a small together of friends where the child isn't really in danger it might not mean much in court, however if there are illegal drugs involved that could be different. Thing is I don't know how you could prove this happening when you don't even know where it's at?
As far as visitation goes, it's not really even a "good chance" at visitation. You are entitled to some sort of visitation with your child, even if it's more typical schedule of every other weekend type thing that many non custodial parents are given.

Thanks Don.. I'm getting my taxes back around the end of next month. It isn't much but its a start. I'll at least take my situation to a lawyer and go from there. My ex hasn't sent me the "agreement" so nothing is on paper yet. I bought my son $300 of xmas gifts because they are gifts anyway. She said he needed a new toybox so I sent her a money order for that and will be sending her money on a regular basis even if she doesn't ask for it. I'm hoping to gain her trust and show her that I do care. She's in collage so I know she doesn't have much money and I want my boy to have the very best. Although she said the toys I'm buying him are spoiling him too much and she doesn't like it. I don't know what to do with her anymore.. she's never happy. I want to buy him the fisherprice degital camera but I'm sure that will make her mad so I'm going to get him that and a new bedroom set for easter. I think its a useful gift but we'll see how things turn out. I'm interested in hearing your story if you would like to share.