ok so long story short. My ex came back to me 5 months after we separated and said she was pregnant, may be my child. We attempted to mend our friendship and be civil about the situation but of course this didn't work. She eventually ran off with another man, whom her and the child now live with. Baby was born last week. I've had no contact with the Ex since October.

I recieved a phone call the other day from CSE. The woman from CSE was very informal, which I expected, and began rattling off a list of information that she needed from myself. I politely declined any information until I had the opportunity to consult my attorney, she was okay with this. Consulted my lawyer, and he said the best thing for me to do was wave a white flag to the ex, and try to privately establish paternity, because this was the first issue which need to be tackled.

Ex wont speak with me, answer my phone calls etc. so I got in touch with her family, ordered the test. I'm getting swabbed tomorrow. Ex and her daughter have a separate appointment the next day. $600, I paid, don't care about the cost, we need to know. The test results should be back sometime next week.

If the child isn't mine then I wish her the best of luck and I'll be on my way.

If the child is mine than I've got a lot on my plate.

The mother and myself truly have no chance with any form of reconciliation so visitation/custody is already looking like a legal train wreck. I don't even know which way I'm going with this yet.

So my concern at the moment is the child support. I understand that if this little girl is mine I will be obligated to support her financially for the next 21 years (NY state) or until she's emancipated from her mother. I'm cool with this, it's my responsibility, and I intend to pay every dollar. I have a career that pays well, and I've already spoken with my employer about the issue. I just need to know how to approach the CSE once paternity is determined.

My Questions are;

- Do I need an attorney right from the start?
- Should I call them or wait for them to call me?
- How thorough is the financial disclosure process? Is it possible for her to down play her financial situation in order to recieve an over payment from myself.
- At this point It's impossible for me to be involved with the baby, because I'm being stonewalled by my ex. I've read that CSE in some cases may award the custodial more $ when non-custodial is absent. Is this true?
- How long does the process of establishing a support order take, considering both parties are willing to negotiate?
- Considering I'm dealing with a new born, How much should I be concerned about arrears, birth cost liabilities etc.?

I could honestly ask a million questions, but the bottom line is that I'm a young man, who has no control over anything that's going on right now, and I need advice from any one who's informed on these matters.

charliehus,

from what I understand the CSE represents your child and can act as a mediator between your Ex and yourself.

Each state has their own child support calculations and visitation schedule. I have heard some states do require the NCP to pay more if they do not share visitation, but it is not true in all states. I'm sure you can probably goggle a child support calculator to get an estimated idea of what child support would be like in your state.

I would obtain an attorney if you cannot negotiate with your EX, she denies you any visitation, and/or you are wanting something other than the standard visitation schedule for your state.

quote:

- How thorough is the financial disclosure process? Is it possible for her to down play her financial situation in order to recieve an over payment from myself.

My state uses IRS tax returns and bank statements for disclosures. Yes it's possible to down play .... but you would have to have hard evidence to prove fraud.

Your CSE office can answer many of these questions, have you talked with them regarding these issues?

Personally, if you want visitation and to be involved in your child's life, I would seek an attorney and fight for it.

Good luck.