My ex and I were never married first of all (relationship for almost 8 years) and I left him, but anyhow he is now in a relationship with a married women that decided to leave her husband for my ex. In the process she has 4 children she left with her husband and now my ex is trying to convince me to have my son live with him because he'll be better off.....(reason....he can teach him "guy" things) quite honestly and in the pit of my stomach I feel he's trying to throw my kid in the mix for her to raise because I think her husband will try to ask for full custody since she left him and the kids with him. Sort of replacing my son for the kids him and her can't conceive (tubes tied)and for the ones I think she will lose. I am not willing to give my son up to him nor will I, I don't care if HE wants to spend time with our son and she's with him, but DON'T put my son on someone that was so irresponsible that she found shacking up with her "so called friend" (that's what she was called throughout my whole relationship with him)was/is more important then being with her kids. The thing that gets me most is before this girl he would take his son when HE felt like it and of course take him over to her house.....befriending her husband all the time and knowing it. My ex said I should break the ties now between mother and son before we both get to attached to each other....and my son won't want to live with him then...hello I gave birth to him! My son is going to be 4 y/o next month, but I will not break any bonds..... and now he claims he can be a dad because it's easy for him (now that super mom is living with him) I am at my wits end with my ex and tired of fighting but I feel this will be a fight that is going to effect my son very deeply....and I don't want it to. I'm unsure of what will happen and if anyone has had a similar situation please share it....I had to vent my frustrations or I will go nuts! Thanks for listening!

shauna

i would tell him exactly what you said. that he can visit his son when he wants to but that he cant have full custody just because he can teach him guy things. that doesnt make him a good father. you are his mother and the only thing that he needs to be happy is to be loved. i would tell him no he is not going to live with him and go to court and get it done legally so that you dont have to fight over it.

sondra