Kinda long but please bare with. I'm single mom never married...daughter 15, son 7 1/2. I love my kids tremendously but i've been a mom since i was a teenager and i hate the fact that everything is always up to me. My kids have different fathers but my son's dad and i started dating when my daughter was 2 and we dated for 7 yrs. A mistaken phone call revealed that he was married and my daughter amd i left the state of cali but i returned to a lie he had concocted saying he and his wife had left each other and he had purchased our own place but when i returned to cali, there was no where for me to live...i lost my job and i went into a deep depression. No family would help me. Also this man ended up being over 25 yrs older than i and knew how to play mental head games with a 20 yrs old girl who had never even been on a date before. Sometimes i think my brain is going to explode...i try so hard and everything i touch seems to turn to ash. I was a very good child, good teen, respectful, hard working, etc and all i've ever wanted was to take care of my children and myself and yet i've been in 3 bad car wrecks that left me extremely injured and I lost a great job where i would've been making over 25.00 per hr, full benefits, and had to quit school. I only have a high school education and i live in O.C. california where i can't even afford to breath the air let alone a place to live. I can't get financial help b/c with a car and 1600.00 a month income for 3 people i make "too much money"! My only attire is a pair of sweat shorts and 2 bleached out shirts. I don't even look presentable enough for a job interview at starbucks and yet i'm highly employable i just lack the resources.
My son has been in the hospital for an ear impaction to unexplained seizures nd his dad lives 10 minutes away and will turn off his cell if im in the e.r. asking for a lil emotional support. I can't lie to you guys... sometimes i get angry b/c having kids takes away that option of being even the slightest bit irresponsible, . But then my son does something really funny or my daughter comes and lays her head on my lap or i just relish in how really cool my kids really are and i smile. Maybe i'll win the lottery this week
b/c somethings gotta give. All of their financial, mental, and emotional support is supposed to come from me but what do i have left to give when i'm always running on 0?

I don't have anything to say as I am on empty too and fighting a broken system for the safety and health of my 3 youngest kids.

But I will send you a

Keep looking at your options and as they say think out side the box.