Oh there are benefits and problems on each side of the fence so ONLY you can decide. My children do both, sometimes they curl up with me and sleep, sometimes they sleep in their room (usually school nights). Now that they are older they sleep in their rooms more but usually not alone (Amanda and Lori will share Amanda's bed) so only I sleep alon on the coach anymore (too lazy to go to bed and can here them when they wake up better).

My children hate sleeping in their room but Lori tosses and turns like you wouldn't beleive so I never get sleep with her with me. Now I don't sleep much, but when I do I want to actually sleep sleep without any problems.

You can't do it when you take your child to see a therapist. How was it referred to? Oh, "There are some kooks out there who believe it's ok."
"It's not 'ok' in this culture." Yeah, well no-one is telling you the truth then, becuase you are a councelor.

My oldest daughter nd son used to sleep with us occasionally if they had a nightmare or something. But when my husband passed away my daughter started having seperation issues and at night would cry hysterically if I tried to get her to sleep in her room. So I figured she's been through enough whats the harm besides I don't really like sleeping alone anyway. Her brother quickly caught on and joined us. My baby however sleeps in her crib goes to bed early and has no trouble. At least for now or probably till shes big enough to realize where her brother and sister are. The kids get a good nights sleep and dont have to be afraid. I don't see how this could be bad.

quote:

Originally posted by the sane one:
You can't do it when you take your child to see a therapist. How was it referred to? Oh, "There are some kooks out there who believe it's ok."
"It's not 'ok' in this culture." Yeah, well no-one is telling you the truth then, becuase you are a councelor.

You said it best when you mentioned the word CULTURE, how does society have the right to tell me how to raise my children? Society also says the world revolves around intercourse yet here I am still thinking soicety has the mental state of a 14 year old child!

Society can try and tell us what is good or bad, but I will listen to a dog before I trust society's judgement on anything that could affect my children. Society hasn't been right in centuries, so why start now?

Society is still fighting over people grouping themselves based on different pasts or ideas. The whole fact that society still allows word like minority to exist shows the lack of maturity! There is no minority, there is American or Alien! If you are an Alien, you have the choice to become an alien depending on the laws of our country that some idiots decide or vote on but for the most part Aliens are the ONLY minority in America!

So if you ever want to make an arguement that sounds intellectual, don't mention society unless they back the opposite ideal or else you will be fighting an uphill battle.

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I was bashing on you but I was really bashing on society. I feel strongly that people need to learn to think for themselves rather then be brainwashed into thinking society's way is the only way to live!

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Glenn the Survivor:

There is no minority, there is American or Alien!

QUOTE]

My kid slept in my bed for about the first 4 years of his life - I breastfed him for just over a year, so it was easier - and he is a very well-rounded individual, and very independant! (He's now 16).

quote:

Originally posted by Glenn the Survivor:

quote:

Originally posted by the sane one:
You can't do it when you take your child to see a therapist. How was it referred to? Oh, "There are some kooks out there who believe it's ok."
"It's not 'ok' in this culture." Yeah, well no-one is telling you the truth then, becuase you are a councelor.

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound like I was bashing on you but I was really bashing on society. I feel strongly that people need to learn to think for themselves rather then be brainwashed into thinking society's way is the only way to live!

By no means do I think you are bashing me. I was only quoting what these so called experts told me. Made me feel like I was a sexual predator or something. Made me feel like a freak. I agree with what you said. The way I see it, I consider outside advice, but it is up to me in the end what I decide to do. Except when I am court ordered to go to therapists about my daughter. I have to do what they say or have the judge be told that I am uncooperative.
It's just cause "society" is so scared of itself. Anything can be a cause to sue, so everyone thinks its safe to do things the way "society" wants. Oops. I going off into a rant.

quote:

Originally posted by HannahsBoy:
I don't run around telling everyone about it though. People are just weird and uninformed. And the so called "Experts" are even more F'd up and uninformed...sorry but my duaghter is not a text book child...she is she and she's mine.

It was my daughter who spilled the beans to her therapist. Now she feels like things changed because she had to open her mouth. It would have been time anyway, since I was pregnant with the new baby at the time.
I have often told her father that this is stupid, and its not us who is raising her anymore, it's the "system". I've had to resign myself to the fact. I had lots of plans for my little girl, that because of the evilness of her father have been halted. I'm just lucky I had the baby because she is going to benefit.

I co-slept with my second child but not my first. I was living with my parents when my first child was born and I was only 19, so I did what they deemed appropriate and kept her in a crib and ran up and down stairs and hallways to take care of her at night.

With Braeden, well my pregnancy was so stressful I just wanted to enjoy every minute I had with him instead of worrying. One day shortly after coming home from the hospital he and I fell asleep on the couch (which I still thank God nothing bad happened) and I slept better and so did he than we had in days. So I pulled his bassinet in my room that night. It just gradually moved to where he was sleeping with me even though we bottle fed. He and I co-slept for the longest and he never wanted to go back to his crib.

I kept trying when he was getting big enough that a twin bed was too much for a squirmy baby and Mom. Once I got my Queen sized bed that was over, he stayed all night in bed again. I think he was 2 before he started sleeping most of the night in his crib and then waking about 4 a.m. to come to my bed. He actually learned to climb out of his crib and climb in my bed.

Now he and my daughter share a room instead of he and I. He goes to bed most nights begging to sleep in Sis's bed (they have bunk beds). Even the nights I get him to sleep in his own bed he wakes up in hers. Other nights he ends up in mine. I have to admit I miss sleeping with him in the bed. I do sleep more calmly.

I just started feeling guilty that I was co-sleeping one child and not the other. My daughter grinds her teeth and kicks. With my fibromyalgia I can't be kicked in the night and the grinding of teeth is to me what scratching of chalkboards is for others. So now I pull my son in bed when Sierra is with her Dad. He doesn't visit his Dad so its kind of his special parenting time while she has her special Dad time.

I was one of those traditionalists spilling out what society had told me. I found it strange that my Ex co-slept with his 11 year old when we were dating. Matter of fact had many an argument over it. The thing is...she was premature, barely lived, and he didn't see her as often as he liked due to his Ex. He had another little girl who was 8 or 9 who didn't like to sleep with Dad, so it was just him and the older daughter. It was his way to bond I suppose, but to me it was just plain weird. I thought kids should sleep in their own beds, especially if they were boys with Moms or Dads with girls. My past clouded my thoughts and so did society.

I co-sleep my son sometimes, I did when he was younger. It bonded us in a way that I didn't get with my daughter. I love my daughter, she's my angel, but I can tell the difference between my relationship with her and my son.

Co-sleep your children. Tell the experts they are idiots as society is new and raising children and co-sleeping has been around long before experts arrived.

It seems like "society" wants us to become uptight, non touching robots.
I lay with my daughter now, until she falls asleep in her own bed. I can't admit that to the therapist though. They said I could lay on the floor on the side of the bed, but not in the bed. I get so fed up with these people.

I've co-slept, co-napped, co-daydreamed, co-you name it. My girl is a part of me and I'm a part of her. I'm currently going through a phase where I'm not comfortable in my old bed, so I'm sleeping on an air mattress in the living room. When I have my daughter, she sleeps there too (bedtime is 8 though and I turn off the TV until she's sleeping good).

I used to work on getting her to sleep in her own bed, and there was a long stretch that she didn't come into our bed at all. I think her fears of the dark are fading, she's getting more confidence every day. However, when she would come into our bed, she would come to me to ask if it was ok and then wedge in between.

Don't know about the feeding though, not my style (besides my body's not wired for it ... ). Mom didn't feed her either, she said it was disgusting, not even in the hospital where they suggested it. Thought there was something weird about that then, and now that I remember it things make a little more sense. Ah well, for some I guess it's normal to not do it.

Sorry got side tracked there.

Yes, co-sleep, especially for the comfort, the heat and the bonding. Not to mention how to teach your kid about a "Dutch oven" ...

Btw, Ash is 6 1/2, and totally a cool kid. Aren't they all!!!

Teaching a kid about a dutch oven is such a guy thing!!!!

There was one morning, when the ex was still around, that my daughter ran out of bed (too loud), it was rather funny for all of us at the time.

Sometimes, nature just takes its course, what can I say?

In couple therapy, they teach the same techniques to help bond with the other in a relationship.

When a couple, does the sandwhich, which is placing your hands on your partners chest, and they place their hands on your hands, it is used for sorrow releases, and done near the lower abdomen on a woman, helps to relieve anxieties...

So what you say makes sense to me that it would affect a child's heartbeat and allow the child to relax.
And yes there is quite a bit of research on teh topic. Very interesting.

quote:

When a couple, does the sandwhich, which is placing your hands on your partners chest, and they place their hands on your hands, it is used for sorrow releases, and done near the lower abdomen on a woman, helps to relieve anxieties...

Cool. I'm going to try that.