i had no idea it was called attachment parenting either. my son started to sleep with me because i couldn't let him cry himself to sleep as the 'professionals' recommended. then i became pregnant again and i need to sleep. at this time my husband and i had some good problems so i found it easier to sleep in the other room with the baby. well as time passed my kids slept in my bed. we are very close and i have 2 loving children. i do not feel it has done them any harm. the only reason i am starting to make my son sleep in his own bed now is because he is getting to big. as of right now i only have a 2 bedroom so me and my daughter still share. but he misses the mommy snuggles. sometimes it is a fight to get him in his own bed. alot of the time he wins.
it used to be called the family bed and was thought of with great regard now it is seen as a bad thing. the world is changing and i am not liking it to much. as a footnote i have been told i love my kids to much! how can that be?

quote:

Originally posted by alim4547:
[qb] The problem is, I still do most of it and my son is 5!!! I don't breast feed! When the heck will he sleep in his own bed? I don't care, I love sleeping and snuggling with him. [/qb]

I totally agree with you, and am so happy that I found this post.
My daughter has just started counseling (because of the problems that her father and I getting along affecting her) and yesterday she told the therapist that mommy sleeps with her. When it was my turn to come in at the end, the therapist was telling me that a child needs their own space. My daughter was crying and so upset at the thought of me not being there. I was pissed. I raise my daughter the way I want. I read a long article about it when she was a baby regarding all the pro's of AP. I dont really remember all of it, but it said that in some countries it is the norm. The whole family sleeps together, and it gives the child a sense of security. I see nothing wrong with it. The therapist did make a good point that when the new baby comes, my daughter will be jealous. Well of course, but she's going to be jealous for a whole bunch of other reasons too. I am not the first parent in the world to have another child, and its going to be an adjustment for all of us.
She sleeps in her own bed. When its time for bed, she and I read, or talk a little. I hold, hug, and tell her I love her, and she falls asleep in like 2 minutes. Usually, I get back up and watch t.v. or do whatever I need to do. During my really tired time of my pregnancy, I was falling asleep before she did, and just stayed there. I will get up, and go in my own bed again, but I told my daughter that if she wakes up, and is scared, she can just call me. I'll be there. I really dont see the damage in laying with her until she falls asleep. I know she can fall asleep by herself, she's done it, and she does it at her dads. When she's with her dad, though, she sleeps in so many different places and beds, so why shouldnt she feel that when she's at mommys she can feel a little safe and secure in her own bed?
Ok. I've gone on and on havent I? The thing is, I like the therapist, but I dont think she has kids of her own. (I'm not sure, and I will ask next time.) I think as parents, we know what is best for our children. We know them! It really grates my nerves that in the professionals eyes, I'm not "right" unless I do it the text book way. Know what I mean?
I'm going to keep going on and on, I guess I need this vent. In the "normal, nuclear" family, kids probably feel more adjusted than when they are shipped back and forth, so what is wrong with paying a little more attention to the child thats life is being turned upside down weekly? I just talked to one of my married friends who has two kids, and the oldest (who is about 4) still sleeps in the bed with them. So its not only us single parents that are doing it.
Ok, I think I'm done now.

my poor kids have to go to their fathers to and they don't like it. they both admit that they cannot sleep there. i like to have them with me. they are only small for a little while and i don't see any reason that i cannot spoil myself having them with me to hold. my mother though always seems to find horror stories of children who were taken away from their parents for this very reason. she knows that is my one greatest fear. i am a good mom and i love my kids and i now there has to be other reasons that that happened but no according to mom. so i have to tell her my son sleeps in his own bed except for on sundays. his special night with mom. because of all the bad press this has recieved now we must cover up the fact that we are close to our children. that we want to be with them even as we rest. i know one day my kids will want their own beds and they will go. but until that day or until i have the means to get them both thier own beds and rooms, they are welcome to sleep in moms bed. where they are held and no bad dreams can get them.

just this morning I heard an interview on the radio with the author of a book :' you will not let your baby cry'). He said, the babies' crying is his /her way to express his/her feeelings, and the parents MUST respond to it. If you let them cry, they WILL stop. Babies who are not picked up when they cry, will eventually stop, and start rocking themselves, or hitting their head, or some similar behaviour, to proove to themselves that they're alive after all, even if the rest of the world ignores them.

Of course these are extreme cases, and I haven't read the book.

Still, in a country were children MUST sleep through the night within a month, because in most families both parents work, in a country were very few Moms breastfeed more than a few weeks, in a country were you can spank your child in public and no one will turn their head, in a country were child care is perfectly organised by the public system and most kids are being taken over by some public or private child care system from the age of a few months to...the end of high school...(yes, it's a choice, but most families use the opportunity) this is like a revolution ..the next French revolution ?

I have attachment parented both my childen (ages 6 and 2). Basically, it is a system of parenting that teaches that you respond to a baby's (child's) needs and teach them that they are part of a greater system that cares about them. This leads to a child that is well attached and secure in the his/her place in the world. Co-sleeping, baby wearing, gentle discipline, no-cry-it-out, breastfeeding on cue, etc. are all tools.

Rather than being a new system of child care, this is a time tested method.

My youngest was 2 when I got a divorce, but it is completely possible to AP single. For example, finding childcare that supports your childcare views would be a way to AP while working. Pumping rather than switching to formula. Co-sleeping to maintain max. contact.

I still co-sleep with my two year old and my six year old joins us sometimes. I am also lucky to have an ex. that supports our bond (for example - he doesn't take the 2 year old overnight yet).

And this method is to bond the child to the family, not just the mother, although during the intensive breastfeeding time, the baby is naturally with the mother more.

Victorian

p.s. my ex. NEVER made dinner and breakfast for me and I survived just fine

p.s.s. my FIRST post!