I wonder if PERSCOM is starting to get the message that if they screw people, they will get out. My branch manager just told me that he will make sure I will never go back to a tactical unit where I have to get deployed and leave my kids because I'm a single mom -- I told him if faced with this decision, I will walk, no matter how close I am to retirement. Technically, being a single parent is not an assignment consideration, but he is promising he will hook me up with a good strategic job in NETCOM -- he better not be lying to me!!! Any other military single parents out there get screwed with an assignment to Korea or something?

I am in the US Navy and so far my command has been excellent on working with me and keeping me off the ship and not deploying me... but for sure as soon as they try to send me overseas or to a ship I am walking also. I will not and cannot comply and I will gladly return to Civlant. Anyway so far so good, I am still based on shore and I have sole custody of my 8mos old son.

I got out of the Navy last year on a parenthood discharge- it was honorable, but too early nontheless. I joined as a single parent, my recruiter simply stated that I should give guardianship to my parents while attending boot camp and training and get custody back when I got to the fleet. This turned out to be harder than it sounded. Although my recruiter had said it would not be hard to come by a shore duty job as a single parent, shore duty jobs turned out to be scarce in my rating. I was sent to a ship, and my command would not authorize BAH because my paperwork stated that my parents were his guardians. When I took back custody, I was told I would still not be able to get BAH to take care of him bc he did not reside with me. I was living on a ship!! After months of trying to find a solution, I decided my son would come first, and initiated a separation package. I know that the military preaches service before self, and I was a good sailor, but my family was struggling back at home and I feel that that had they provided for me and my son, I would have been an excellent sailor. I have six years left in the Navy IRR. I'm now trying to get into the Army reserve for my remaining six years, but have found that they, too, want me to give up guardianship to re-enlist. It is strange to me that someone who goes in married with children and gets divorced after a month can be a single parent and get what they need with no problems but yet a single parent joining is treated as an entirely different creature. It has been suggested to me that I marry a friend for a few weeks to get in and then "oops it didn't work out" after a few months. Has anyone else faced the same obstacles? And for you military moms out there, how do you balance your time with your child and your work? I usually felt guilty after long underway periods, but I love the military and the benefits it provides. Good luck to all of you out there on alert. Please write and share your experiences.

Well here's how I feel about the whole single parent in the military. Early this year I was chaptered on my family care plan. I spent 6 long years in the service and I was proud of all of them until I got sent to Fort Benning. I was on the infamous hill. I tried everything in my power to get from going there. Unfortunately I cuoldn't do anything about it. I informed my chain of comman before I got there but Kelly hill is majority males about 6% are females. If that! I just want to say that you are in my prayers if you are still at home with you child. I had to take that option to walk. I wasn't in the position to leave my son with anyone and my chain of command was like who cares you can't leave him with your short term provider? Mind you I had only been at Fort Benning for about a total of 6 months. So heck no I couldn't leave him with her. Then they kept going on and on about what about friends. But come on now how many friends do you have outside of the military? And aren't they going to Kuwait with you? So all I can say is stay on top of your transfers. ANd don't re-enlist for a post. Re-enlist for a pinpoint assingment! Take Care

quote:

Originally posted by 1armymom:
[qb]I wonder if PERSCOM is starting to get the message that if they screw people, they will get out. My branch manager just told me that he will make sure I will never go back to a tactical unit where I have to get deployed and leave my kids because I'm a single mom -- I told him if faced with this decision, I will walk, no matter how close I am to retirement. Technically, being a single parent is not an assignment consideration, but he is promising he will hook me up with a good strategic job in NETCOM -- he better not be lying to me!!! Any other military single parents out there get screwed with an assignment to Korea or something?[/qb]