Here I am after a second failed marriage. I have to say that it's probably due to deployments and growing apart because of them.

I'm faced now with my children split between two homes. My two oldest ones are with me 100% custody all around. My two youngest ones will live with my soon to be ex-wife.

My dilemna... I've always had off and on communications with some of my friends from before I joined the military, mostly high school, and some of these are ex-girlfriends.

I have one in particular, the last girl I dated prior to joining the service. She was a new single mother back then, and we spend a few months together and I bonded with her son real well. He still, to this day, has some of the gifts I had given him when he was a baby.

Obviously we have both taken different paths in life, but somehow our recent "single status" has appealed to both of us. She is a single mother of two children now, and I've explained my situation above. She lives in Chicago now, and I'm here in California. We have only spoken off and on over the last 14 years, more frequently in this last year than ever.

This past Friday, she offered to relocate here to California so that I can complete my career to retirement in 6 more years. We briefly discussed "co-habitation" and stuff, but I'm curious what would drive her to want to relocate here? It's nice to think that she still has feelings for me after all these years, but I'm not sure if I should ask her about it for fear of driving her away and make her not want to help me out.

I'm willing to discuss this more, but I don't want to make this any longer than it is. I'd like some opinions on this just to satisfy my own feelings and curiousities.

Rheno

Well living together is a huge thing. Especially when your carreer hangs in the balance. If you feel you can't or shouldn't talk to her about this further, then she shouldn't be living with you, nor be left responsible with your kids.
You need to ask yourself if you trust her, first and foremost. If the answer is yes, then tell her you are apprehensive to talk to her for fear of scaring her away, and if she is someone you can trust, she'll understand and be very open to ANY questions or discussions you may have for her.

Just my thoughts...

I'd say if you are even thinking about trying that, then you shouldn't be hesitant to ask whatever questions are on your mind about it. You should talk at length about it with her before attempting such a thing. Don't be afraid of driving her away by asking the wrong thing, be more concerned about not having everything out in the open before going ahead with something like this.

Thanks, your replies are very valuable. I have to agree, now that it's put in that perspective. Probably the whole reason I needed the feedback in the first place was for the confirmation I suppose ;o)

I've had a few people tell me that she wouldn't be coming here just for fun, and I'm compelled to agree with that. She reminded me of some things I bought for her infant son back then, and commented that he still has one or more of them and refuses to get rid of it. I wonder if it might be her that refuses to part with it.

I would most likely trust my life with this woman. She has been a true friend through thick and thin, even though she broke things off with me 14 years ago. The reason was trivial, probably something "high schoolish" I had said or done LOL.