What is the difference if you were not married and had a child to if u were married and had a child? I been throught the WHOLE system for my FIRST child but i am JUST going through the system for my divorce AND child support. What do they do if the dad is SELF employed and never really claimed any $$??

I am SO nervous as this is coming full speed ahead and to be HONEST I am SCARED to let the prick have anything to do with my daughter! I was physically and verbally abused for 27 months.

When i got pregnant he WISHED i had a miscarrige, then he wish she was born still and AFTER she was born he wished the worst on her! You ask WHY didnt i leave then, well truth be told I wasnt STRONG to leave, i didnt think i COULD get away! I was scared of him and felt her would HURT me if i tried to leave! PLUS we owed my parents a LOT of $$. So i tried to put up with it and NEVER EVER left the baby alone with him. She was ALWAYS in my arms!

My children DIDNT fit in his life style YES he was pretty good to the oldest who ISNT is but couldnt stand the baby! I cried all the time she was my precious! So I am AFRAID to let him get visitation! He has NOT seen her since June. I got him on abuse charges and he TOOK a guilty plea. But still i am afraid to let him have her alone! It scares me she doesnt know him and what if he hurt her.

I STRESSED this to my lawyer and we are asking for SUPERVISED visits through the YWCA!

If anyone has been through a divorce can u shed some light?? How long did it take to get finalized?

I have a restraining order on this man and plan to NEVER talk to him again. My parents will be the communicator FOR us because i cant stand him and never want him near me again. He hasnt given me a DIME since i left in June. UGH next Friday and Saturday I have the divorce class!

First of all, take a breath. You've filed for divorce so it's going to begin getting better for you.

Second, did you petition for a temporary order of custody and child support? If not, go to your local Child Support Enforcement center and apply for services. Use this link - Child Support Services The are a free service and can get an order of child support for you, and will assist you in collecting on back child support when he refuses to pay.

Third, the divorce process takes different lengths of time in different states. With children, in my state, it takes 90 days minimum, but I had the waiting period waived because we've been separated for so long and we tried counseling before we split.

Fourth, you obviously have parents who are there for you. Be strong in that. Your parents are willing to even go between the two of you to protect you. Remember that when you're feeling low and need someone to talk to not only are WE here, but they are as well.

You have done the right thing. It's going to be easier this time with the CS and visitation because you were married so you don't have to establish paternity, and since you have a guilty plea on him for abuse the supervised visitation should be a no-brainer.

If you don't have an attorney, go apply for legal aid or go to the nearest university that has a college of law and see if they have an intern program that allows board certified interns to represent people for courtroom experience. That's what I'm doing. The intern who is representing me is going to be supervised by a staff attorney (professor) at all times and has been WONDERFUL to work with. And, it's free.

I hope this helps you. Sounds like you've gotten things started for yourself. Just keep yourself and your children safe and know that you've done the right thing.

Wow momof2okc...you are one hardworking lil newbie here, aren't ya?

You gave wonderful advice to this woman, but she hasn't been around in over a year it seems. It's sad that she didn't get any responses to this post. You know, I can't get into the social stuff on these sites, but these emotional posts put up when people first start to visit? I feel terrible when I think about them going unanswered. Heh...some people will say that I come here to argue and be a pain in the ***, but really...it's the thought of posts like Momtwokasnang's going unanswered that makes it hard for me to stay away...

Welcome to site again, BTW. You're a great addition and I love your sig.

Later,
Bobby

Thanks, Bobby!

I love this forum and can't seem to tear myself away. And it's ok, I enjoy being a pain in the *** myself most of the time. It's a hobby I pursue with vigor, hehe. (According to my ex anyway.)

I hadn't even looked at the date on the post, I just keep reading and reading on the threads that catch my interest and reply with as much info as I can. I am used to having to do everything for myself with no money to hire professionals, so I just got used to looking up all the answers. If I can pass along a little bit of my experience, I'm glad to help.

Thanks again for the warm welcome. It's nice to have a place to chat.

Well, you never know who else will be reading through the old posts and find your useful info, so don't feel you have to quit responding to the old ones! I just wanted to point out that you're unlikely to get a response for this lady...

I've done a lot of law looking up and CS research myself. I've made spreadsheets even for a few states It's sort of fun, in a useful sort of way.

Honestly, I really gotta make myself get away from the boards more so that I can get more things done at work and around the house. I feel better about doing that when there's people like you on here saying the things that I would have said...

Later,
Bobby

Bobby,

I am dealing with a stomach flu-like virus right now, so sitting in front of the computer for short periods of time is about as much as I can handle right now. I'd rather cut off my right arm than feel like this, but posting helpful information makes me feel like I'm at least doing SOMETHING productive.

I know what you mean about the research being fun. I've learned a lot from doing all of the searching, and I'm really getting the hang of what to look for and where. I always wanted to be an attorney, and now that I've got kids and realize that's pretty much out of the question (can't afford to go back to school) I can at least do this to help people.

Later,
Angela