Okay so I'm new to this site, and like some other people leaving messages, I'm not yet single. I am however ready to end my relationship with my fiance. We have a 14 month old son, who I 100% live my life for. I choose to only work 3 days a week, so I can be home. Well we have been engaged for almost 2 years now, and every time the topic of marriage comes up, all I hear is "I dont know". I have finally decided that I dont think he really wants to get married. Well about 8 months ago we got in a real big fight. We were argueing and I threatened to call the police if he took our son out of the house (he was sleeping on other side of the house). Well he decided to be spitefull and said "well I'll call the police". So he picks up the phone and dials 911! Yada, yada, I'm getting arrested for domestic assault. I'm NOT a violent person, and because the DA could see that, they dropped the case. Since then, we've been going to counseling which was working for a while. Now my fiance says that he's tired of counseling and it's not doing anything but taking 85$ from him a week. I told him that if we stop counseling, nothing will get better, and we can't be together. He told me that if I want to leave I can, but he won't let me take our son. He tells me that I would never get custody of him because of the police incident months earlier. He constantly hangs that over my head and I don't know what to do! I told him that the only reason I'm still with him, was so he would take our son away from me. He seemd to not care! I don't know what my rights (in maine) are as a mother, but something has to change. I was told that if I just leave with my son, he can't do anything, because we dont have a custody agreement. But what would stop him from getting one of those while I'm moving? Sorry for this being so long, but I'm so confused and feeling alone! PLEASE HELP!

Since there is no formal custody orders, it's true that you could leave with him without getting into legal trouble. Your fiance might then file for custody, or you could as well. The important thing would be for custody to be ran through the legal system to get it all court ordered. The judge would look at it all and very likely award joint custody. Your incident before with the 911 probably wouldn't do much against you, since the DA didn't press charges.

Here is a link to a good resource for info on child custody in Maine - Divorce in Maine - Check this for info if you're not sure, but it looks like you'd have better grounds for custody because you're the primary caregiver.

You can file for custody on your own. You don't even have to have an attorney. You can write up your own papers - let me know if you need links for help on that - and get them filed for very little. You could do this without even telling him so he can't try anything while it's being determined.

If you file for a temporary order of custory and tell them it's urgent, most courts will grant you a hearing within 72 hours, and sometimes you can even go directly to the judge's office and request them to sign your order right then if they're available.

If you can't afford to pay the filing fees, you can fill out a pauper's affidavit and have a judge sign it and it will allow you to file the papers without paying right then, but will require them to be paid before the matter is complete.

I hope this helps.

I think it's a good idea to get a lawyer before you take any action. Dont say anything else to your fiance. If you dont have money for an attorney, try legal aid in your area. I agree that the judge probably wont take your arrest seriously as the DA felt there was not enough reason to follow it with formal charges.