I hope I have found a site that will help me out with some things. I am new. I am seperated from my husband for over a year now. We are presently playing the waiting game with the divorce papers. I left him. It was an abusive relationship, not so much physical but he constantly criticized me everyday. He is a "I want what I want when I want it" kind of guy. Anyway I have a son to him. Last month he finally got his own place. For about eight months he has been living with mommmy. He is supposed to have weekend visitation with our son every other weekend. This is the first weekend my son cried screamed and pitched a fit because he did not want to go with daddy. "daddy is mean." So now I don't know what to do. Do I make him go with his dad? If I do his dad is most likely going to call me to come get him because his dad will not be able to tolerate the crying and whining. Please help. I have been able to take care of everything unti now.

Is there already a legal agreement, court ordered visitation schedule? If so you've got to follow that to keep out of trouble, particularly with divorce proceedings still in limbo.
You mention this is the first time your son has complained about not wanting to go? Could just be a timing thing also, and he might just feel better about it once he's actually there and visiting.
Either way, if it were me I'd go ahead with the visitation and if your ex calls for you to pick him up early, keep that sort of thing wrote down on the calendar. Could come in handy later on, he should be able to parent his own child well enough to not have to "give up" and send him back home early.

Welcome to SFV

Do you have a formal parenting plan?

If you send your kids to dads and then need to pick them up, document it as then you can get the parenting plan changed so you don't have the problem later. Can you talk to the dad about how the kids feel?

I am one who does not think that kids are always better off with both parents as some times it can cause more problems then it cures.