I never could figure out why A lot of adults act like they are younger then their kids when it comes to parting with our mates. guess I had it easy, we decided we had nothing in common and decided it was best. maybe I was numb after 18 years, so, any ideas.

Paul,
I am not really sure how to answer the question. It does sound as though you had it easier than many of us but, it is never easy. It is a death of a relationship.
During my divorce and to this day I have tried desparately to remain adult about the whole situation. However, I was not divorcing a rational mature human being. What ever attracted me in the first place? Well let's just say he was different then regressed. You can take the boy out of the ?????? but you can't take the ?????? out of the boy. I come here or hang with the girlfriends if I need to rant or get things off my back. I never talk with Ev about it. She has come to her own conclusions about the situation.

Hmm, maybe it the passion, thx for the insight CA. I just figure we, as in the married couple would know when it was waisting time. Maybe I am a bird man, "if you love her, set her free, if she doesn't come back, she was never your to begin with. " Lol, I like this one, now that I digress "tie two birds together, though they have four wings they still can't fly" hehe.

Well, the funnything is it was mainly my kids idea we go our seperate ways. Don't get me wrong, I was misrable, but I didn't want to leave a relationship with my kids. I knew, or thought I knew, they would want to stay with their friends, church, and life in missouri. Then I found out they didn't want to stay with their mother, even if it ment leaving everything they knew. See they witness some rather bizzar behavior, and where on the phone every night complaining about the things that where going on. Only thing I could say at the time was if it is that bad you should talk to the school councilor. Well they did, and CPS and the cops where at my wifes house within minets.

I have tryed to talk to my ex about it when she was being less then normal, man them where some fights after I said it. So I had to give up on mentioning it to her, for the sake of peace.

I will be sure they keep in touch with their mother, and go for visits when they want, but they told me flat out they don't want to live like that again.

I also make sure they understand that its not my ex's fault she acts the way she does. Its medical(mental), so when they should make a wise crack about it, I remind then its not her fault. I feel sorry for her, but I won't make my kids deal with it.

lol, maybe thats why people think its funny if they ask my goal in life, "peace" plain and simple.

quote:

Originally posted by Paulandhisgirls:
[qb]
I also make sure they understand that its not my ex's fault she acts the way she does. Its medical(mental), so when they should make a wise crack about it, I remind then its not her fault. I feel sorry for her, but I won't make my kids deal with it.[/qb]

This is a very noble thing to do Paul and I commend you for it.

On the subject, we are all very human an when we are hurt...we grieve. Grief takes all different forms for different people. Some fight, some go into depression, some throw tantrums, some easily move on. Whatever the case, I never blame anyone for trying to be faithful to vows they professed at marriage. Unless the children or they themselves are being physically or emotionally harmed.

I think most couples do not work at their marriage and that is unfortunate. If you have worked hard and it still cannot work, that is another story.

well, it may or maynot be noble. I beleave in doing the right thing as far as this world goes. If we treat each other right, we would have less troubles. I hope to instill this in my girls. truth, honor, and integraty.