Robert and I became closer and closer as time went on. We had what I would call a fairy tale relationship. He was very sweet and caring. He had told me that since he first met me he had had a huge crush on me. I dont know how true that was. November 6, 1993 were married. Things appeared fine, we couldnt have been happier. I then became pregnant with our first child who is Jessica. After her birth is when changes in our relationship started happening. The mortgage wasn't getting paid and went into foreclosure, I then sold the house to Robert to keep from losing it. From then things went downhill. I started babysitting to help make ends meet. Things appeared to get worse between us. I started feeling very depressed to the point where I saw my dr, who at that point put me on anti depressants. We started arguing more and more. Robert starting "handling" our problems. I'll take care of it is what he'd say. Later realizing he never took care of any problems nor bills that we had. He told me that he was going to drop off the water bill payment, that wasn't done, our water was shut off. He said that he was going to drop off the electric payment, that wasn't done, our electric was shut off. He said that he was going to pay the gas bill, that was shut off. We had all of our utilities shut off one after another. He had taken care of things. Arguing became a daily thing for us. He once backed me up into the bedroom and had me into a corner and kept pushing his way towards me until I was finally squatting on the floor in a corner like a dog while he screamed in my face. I always said I'd never let any man do that to me. Well he did. He was THE MAN of the house. During arguments I'd pick up the kids and carry them away. Robert would grab whomever I had in my arms, he'd grab them and physically pull them away and out of my arms and say "OH NO YOU DONT THESE ARE MY KIDS YOU WILL NOT EVER TAKE MY KIDS AWAY FROM ME DAM YOU". He always claimed them as HIS KIDS, and under his dead body would no one take them away from HIM. I had called the police on him many times due to violence from his temper. He ran away every time before the police came because there was a warrant out for his arrest from a Snapon Tool dealer that he hadnt paid. He WAS arrested once and taken out in cuffs from the house after I called the police on him. A few times he had pulled the phone out of the wall to prevent me from calling the police on him. He wanted to take control of everything, and at the time I didnt mind as it was less that I felt that I had to do. Then there was a time where he had demanded me to have the house cleaned and his dinner on the table by the time he got home. This had to be done and the kids knew it. He'd scream rant and rave if this wasnt done, and accuse me of doing nothing all day. The house was heading into foreclosure again. This time it is in his name and we have to find another way out of this yet again. Somehow he got in touch with some investor who we found out had gotten his name put on the deed to the house and ours off. Our signature some how wound up on a paper stating that we would pay this man 2,500.00 a month rent or move out of this house. We had to do this one month. I had told Robert that we needed help to get out of this situation. We brought my parents into it, who took out an equity loan on their home to help save our home. It went through without a hitch. Our home was saved. Life continued on, although the stress and arguments continued on. It was strange as you could almost tell that Robert didnt want nothing to do with my family and didnt like being around them. Most of my family had told me that he wasnt very trusted and liked by my family at all,they thought that he was very kiniving, and it was their fear that the way he acted towards me, that he'd take the girls away some day. They told me that they knew and could see that he was very controlling. I didnt see it that way. Sure there was stress, and that's probably why he acts this way. Things went ok for the next few months, the mortgage was being paid for a few months as well as the loan payment. The stress still continued on, and Robert blamed me for things that went wrong. When our utilities were shut off, he blamed me for it stating that if I had a normal job out side the home, we wouldnt be in the situation we were in. It was never nothing he was doing wrong. Then the first time he took off with Jessica, I had been holding her in my arms, and he pried her out of my arms and told me that she was HIS KID and HE was taking her. I pleaded with him to leave her alone and if he was this upset then go cool off alone, leave her alone. He didnt he took her and took off in a rage. I was scared to death that he was going to hurt both of them. Upset, I went over to my parents house and we called the police. They officer stated that there was nothing no one could do, no papers filed. He said tomorrow go to an attorney and file for an order of protection and custody if possible. We did, but I backed out and didnt appear for the court date because I knew it would devastated Robert doing that and I couldnt be that cruel to him....even though he was being this cruel to me. I then got pregnant with Jackie. When I get pregnant with Jackie Robert was in between jobs, so we had no income. He was not excited about this pregnancy at all. He denied it until the dr told him its true. Due to the pregnancy we were forced to go on welfare. More and more time went on, the mortgage again wasn't getting paid, it was once again heading into foreclosure. I told Robert to call his family and see what they could do to help. All they said that they could do was send 100.00 for food for us. Food was not the problem. They said they couldnt do nothing, why can't my family they wanted to know. It was up to my family to do everything. My family knew that the house was in foreclosure again but didnt say anything. The reason why it went into foreclosure was because instead of paying the mortgage, Robert took the money for the mortgage payment and used the money to remodel the kitchen with solid oak cabinets and a new floor. He also took the money to add on a deck onto the house and around the pool. We are now in our 4th month of foreclosure. I had been scared to death to bring this up to my parents and had a very hard time facing them knowing what was going on. Finally during another violent argument over the mortgage, I called my parents and told them that their son in law was coming over to tell them about the house situation yet again. I made him go over and face them as to what was going on. I couldnt lie for him anymore, it was up to him to face what he did and for me to stop lying to my family and protecting him from it. He came back a while later and told me that my parents told him to just sell the house, nothing that they could do anymore, he screwed it up now HE must fix it. He got in touch with a Thomas Vlach a foreclosure attorney, who did go to court for us as far as I was told by Robert. I wasnt able to get involved in handling the situation as I wasn't "allowed". Robert stated to me many times after asking him, that yes indeed he had called the mortgage company from his place of work, and talked to several people that day and this day. I couldnt say for sure if he had. In the mail we'd get documents and papers stating that we werent in touch with the mortgage company and they werent hearing from us. We got to know a person Named Mike Pasquini from Lincoln Home Mortgage, he came by the house and told us that he may be able to help but not sure, he'd try. Would up that he couldnt help either. I had finally called Thomas Vlach the foreclosure attorney and asked him if he had been talking with Robert at all lately. He stated to me that it was weeks ago that he phoned Robert and told him that there wasn't nothing that he could do for us to save the house because Robert hadn't paid his bill with him, and he wasn't going to work for nothing. This I didnt know. I then asked Robert if he had been in touch with Thomas Vlach, he said, yes, Tom is taking care of things, everything will be fine. I said that's funny, he claims he told you he couldnt do nothing due to non payment. Robert denied it and said that I was lying and didnt know what was going on so I couldnt say a word. Robert then went into court and claimed bankruptcy to help stop the sale of the house 24 hours before the sale. This did work, but only stalled things for the eviction. We had approximately 70,000 in equity in the house. Patrick and I orginally bought the house for 82,000. It was worth 250,000 at the time of foreclosure We were the second owners of the house. Then on February 26, 2002 the coldest day of the winter, the shariff and 3 other squad cars pulled up in front of the house with an entire eviction crew. Came to the door and told us to leave, it was now time to vacate the house as it was no longer ours and it had been sold. I immediately called Robert and he didnt come home from work that day until the normal time of 6:30. It was Jackie our youngest and I that were physically escorted out of the house, and while we were there they evictors began throwing our furniture out on the lawn. Robert didnt live through this day and see our furniture get thrown out and see police in our home and going through our things, our girls and I did. ALyssa my oldest, rode by the house in the school bus with her friends on the way home from school and saw what they were doing. She was hysterical. The police came up to me and told me that I had to remove the belongings from the lawn or be ticketed for littering, and face city storage fees as the city of EP would pick it all up and lock it up in storage. We had to get a truck and remove it all. My entire family came by and helped load up cars and trucks and take it to storage. We took it and put it in a storage unit in River Grove Illinois, until later moving it as we needed to. We then took up residence at my parents house across the alley. We had no place else to go. During the time living at my parents home, there was no arguments between Robert and I. It appeared that stress was going away. During the 6 months at my parents home, I noticed that Robert was doing a heck of a lot of talking to his mother more than ever, but didnt think too much about it. On weekends we would take the kids and usually go for a drive to maybe look for another house. We went towards Plainfield ILL, where they were building tons of houses. We went and looked at many models and found one that, supposedly we both wanted. We signed papers with the contractors and found out that we needed 10,000 down. Robert as I was told, got that money from his employer at the time. We were told that the house would be ready completely in April 2003. So in August we got a short term lease for an apartment in Romeoville, IL. On our way leaving my parents house Robert was supposed to pay my dad back some money he had borrowed from him. They got into an argument and Robert threatened to call the police. I told Robert dont do that because it will be you to get arrested due to the warrant on you. I went out in front and stayed in the car as I didnt want to get involved with this. Then suddenly I saw a squad car pull up and go to my parents front door. Robert had called the police on my dad, but wound up getting arrested himself for not paying his Snapon Tool dealer guy. I had to bail him out 400.00. There goes half of a full weeks check that we could use. We werer on our way to Romeoville now. We enrolled the girls in Plainfield schools and lived in the apartment while they built the house. The arguments started back up again. Robert claimed to have been in total contact with the contractors of the house and our lender. I began not feeling too trusting over what I was hearing from Robert on things that were said between him and others about the house. Robert would call me and state that he had called and talked to someone at the contractors office and tell me the conversation. I would wait a few hours and call that very person back and tell them that I understood that my husband had called and talked to that person and I just had a few more questions. That person that Robert would tell me I talked to then would say that they hadn't talked to Robert in weeks. WHAT? I dont understand, I just talked to him a few hours ago and he told me that he talked to you. No I haven't spoken to him in weeks, sorry. This went on for many different calls that I made to people Robert claimed he spoke to. I would confront Robert on this, and he would confirm that he did talk to these people and maybe they just forgot that he did talk to them. I said fine, as I didnt want an argument. Things just didnt seem right to me at all. Another day, that Robert was arrested, he was on his way home and got pulled over for having a headlight out. He was arrested again for the same warrant. I had to gather up the girls and drive to Lamont, IL., to yet again bail him out. Another 400.00 1/2 weeks check. I kept asking him to just pay the bill but he kept telling me he had other things to pay before. I said we have no money now due to your bails. I was losing a lot of trust, and started feeling as though he was lying to me about many things. Also the car that I was driving was in HIS name only, and the plates were expired, so instead of spending the oney to get a new sticker, Robert told me that he brought home a sticker from a totalled car that he had at work, he'd stick it on the Taurus and that should "work" until he could get ne plates. Well I went out to the store one day and got pulled over and was ticketed for falisfying a license plate. I told Robert about it, and he said, yet, again, he'd take care of it. I also got a ticket for not having active car insurance. Robert stated that he forgot to drop off that payment, so the insurance wasnt active, got another ticket. The lease of our apartment was up and it was almost time for the closing on the house. We got a sweat equity on the house so we went into the house on weekends to paint and stain. While we did this, a neighbor down the street came down to introduce himself. We told him that we had to find a place to stay for at least a week until the house was closed on. He offered us to stay with him. We did. It wound up that we stayed with him for a few months. He and his family were tired of hearing all the closing dates come and go that we had. He finally told us that due to the amount of stress that is now in his home, we had to leave and find a motel or another place to stay effective immediately. I stated that we just go back to my parents house and wait for the closing. Robert refused. When we moved out of the apartment and put our things from the apartment into the garage of the house that was being built. SO, From July 2003 till October 2003, we were living in a motel.
We were living in a motel due to the fact that we were "supposedly" waiting on a closing date on the home we had built.(later I found out that really wasnt ever going to happen, but I was led to believe it was). We lived in the motel room along with a lot of stress. I kept being told my Robert that we were closing on so and so date so we're all set be ready and that he'd be home early and we'd go over to the title company and be done. Robert would come home early only to tell me that the closing was "cancelled", or something wasn't right with the numbers. this devastated me. It didnt seem to effect him at all. Robert told me that they rescheduled it for the following week. The following week came, and again Robert told me that we had a 12:00 appointment at the title company and that this Mike Pasquini (that I mentioned before, was going to be there as our lender). Well time came closer, and I had called Robert asking him where he was, I didnt want to be late. He tells me that he's on his way but he is sicker than a dog on the express way, pulled over throwing up with bad chest pains. I said well, then we'll have to cancell yet again. No we're going to close, I'll be there, I'll call you back. Called him back several times, no answer. Finally tells me that he's driven himself to Joliet hospital emergency room thinks he may be having heart attack. I drive to the hospital, the ER dr's stated to me that yes his symptoms say heart attack but tests turn out normal. Stayed a few hours he was released. I asked him if a reschedule was done for the closing. He said he will call Mike back. Went back to the motel room. Bob gets a few days off of work to rest up. We got the bill from the storage facility and it showed for two units. I questioned Robert on the two units and assumed the bill was wrong as far as I was concerned we only had one unit. He had told me that he had moved our belongings from the garage at the house to a storage unit. He never told me anything about it prior to that. I was never given a key, not given anything. I was very upset about this. I asked Robert more about it later and Robert had told me that I would have gotten a key for the unit and he would have put my name on the unit, had I put his name on the unit that I had. The thing was, he already knew his name was on it, also that he had a key so his name HAD to be one it. I then got suspecious and called Mike Pasquini myself, and he told me that he hadn't talked to Bob since we lived in EP with the house foreclosure and that he knew nothing about a house closing. I confronted Robert about this and he said that maybe Mike didnt remember me. Dont know why Mike would say that to you, yes I have been talking to him. At this point, I was totally fed up I know he's lying and told him this too. He says to me why should I tell you anything anymore, you dont believe a word I say anyways. He says now what are we going to do, we're not getting this house so there. I said were we ever? That was the end of that, the contractor backed out and a sale sign was put on the lawn of the house. the contractor wasn't going to wait any longer. About a week went by things were quite, we were trying to figure out what we were going to do, until he took off with the girls......
Every weekday morning the same routine took place. Waking up and getting the girls ready for school. I'd take my oldest to school, come back take Jessica to school, then come back and kill some time and take Jackie to her PM kindergarden class. On October 27th, I got up to get the girls ready for school, I noticed that Robert was still home, I thought that was a bit odd, would ask him when I got back from the school what his plans were for the day why he wasnt going to work. I took Alyssa to school, came back got Jessica ready, and saw that Robert and Jackie were still sleeping, so I left with Jessica for school. I dropped off Jessica, came back to find Robert and Jackie gone. I didnt think too much about it, as I thought they had maybe gone downstairs, or out to get breakfast or something. A few hours gone, I tried to call Robert on his cell phone, no answer. It was getting close to Jackie's class to start. her school stuff was still here in the room. I wondered if Robert was taking her to school or not. I called the school to see if she was there, and the school secretary said that Jackie wasnt there, but asked if she had a sister named Jessica. I said yes, why? The secretary said that Jessica was signed out this morning by her father. There must be some mistake, this doesnt make any sense. There is no family emergency, I dont understand what is going on. went to the school to see what they could tell me. Yes it was indeed his signature and he did sign her out. I have no idea as to what is going on nor why. The school called his cell phone with no luck. As far as we all were concerned, the three of them were missing, no clues at all. The Joliet police were called because there appeared to be children missing without reason nor cause. On top of the fact that at this point they seem to be missing, but not only did I feel that they were missing, but Robert had just gotten out of the hospital from chest pains recently and I was worried about that as well. The police had called Roberts employer questioning them. They denied hearing anything (later I understood they knew exactly what was going on, but was told not to say a word). From the school, I went to the high school to pick up my oldest daughter and let her know what was going on. (my oldest daughter isnt his, she is from my first marriage).

Alyssa and I went back to the motel and called the police from there as well. The police had asked me if any disputes had taken place, I told them no, everything was fine as far as I knew. They asked me if I could think of any reason why my husband would disappear with the girls at all. I said no. They told me that there was not much they could do at that point, but would keep their eyes open and if they heard anything they'd call and vice versa.

Alyssa and I waited in the motel room, and didnt leave. During the 11 years of our marriage different members of my family mention to me he wasn't a trusted person and that it was their fear that he would take the girls away some day. During these three days I had many calls from my aunt who had asked me if I thought he'd take the girls away and go back to PA without telling me, and I said no, he'd never do that. He'd never take the girls from their home and school. That would be the last thing that he'd do. I was a bit offended with that, but nevertheless, did think my gosh what if he has done this, and why? I have defended this thought for a long time. I wanted to call my parents and tell them what had happened but didnt due to 2 reasons, my mother had been very sick and I didnt think the stress of what he could have possibly have done would do any good to her health, and I knew that at that point they would try to tear down the faith that I had hung onto for so long that Robert wouldnt do the things that they had warned me about I didnt want to believe that their gutt instict were right. I had a tremendous amount of love and faith for my husband that I felt that if it was destroyed by truth I dont know what I would have done.

Finally 3 days later, Robert calls and I ask him where he is. He told me to take a guess. I said please dont tell me that your in PA. He said yes I am. At that very second, God my family was right. He said Im sorry but it was spur of the moment. I thought what kind of husband does this to his wife without discussing it with her? Is this love or control? Then he told me that only if I wanted to, he'd get two more train tickets and that Alyssa and I would come and join him and the girls, we'd stay out there till June (6 months) get back on our feet financially and return back home to Illinois. I begged him to please come back, so we could tie up loose ends and say goodbye to family here and have my parents say goodbye to the girls, as these are their only grandchildren, then return back in June. He outright refused. I agreed to go. It was the last thing that I wanted to do. I asked him why he didnt discuss this decision with me. He said he just up and left didnt think of talking about it, and didnt want a confrontation about it. I asked Robert what I should do with the car. He said arrangements were already made with his employer to have me pack up the motel and put it all in the car and drive it to Preferred Auto Body where they would keep the belongings there till June and they'd sell the car. They did wind up selling the car.
My belongings are still there and I have been denied them.

The day before Mine and Alyssa's departure, Alyssa's father, Patrick (Roberts brother), came to the motel room. He had told me that Robert had stopped by his house after he left the motel that morning, and told himself and his wife that he was leaving with the girls back to PA and not coming back. He had used their computer to try to purchase same day train tickets but found out thats not possible over the internet that you have to go to the train station to purchase same day tickets. He had also told Patrick and Debbie that Robert saw me driving back to the motel room after dropping Jessica off at school. He had already gone to sign her out, and saw me going back to the motel room, and changed lanes to avoid being seen by me. Patrick and Debbie had both commented on the lack of baggage that he had for himself and the girls. Robert told them that he took as less as possible so that I wouldnt catch on to what he was doing or the fact that he had indeed left with the girls. He also said that he had waited until I left to take Jessica to school to leave. Robert also told both of them that he was leaving me with no choice butto live under his terms. He also stated to them that he and his mother had been talking for a long time on how Robert would some day leave Illinois with the girls and that he and his mother had been looking into gaining custody of the girls and how to keep them in PA and away from my family. I argued all of this information with Patrick as he was telling me this. I said no, this isnt what Robert is doing. He'd never do anything like this, what your saying is crazy. He told me that we'd go out there and live for 6 months to get back on our feet then come back home to Illinois.

When we got to PA, it was right away that I felt very unwelcomed. Right away it didnt appear as though there were any intentions on going back. I felt extremely betrayed devastated and lied to. I had tried to make the most of it, but the more I tried the more it got worse. Alyssa was extremely unhappy. She cried quite often telling me that she wanted to go home. Alyssa and I were clearly treated as though we werent welcomed there by Millie and Roberts step father George. Jackie our 6 year old openly said one day at the dinner table in front of everyone, "Mommy, poppie dont like you. Poppie is what the girls call George (Roberts step father). I told Jackie its ok, just eat. She either heard this or sensed it herself. His family made it extremely uncomfortable for Alyssa and I to be there, many times going out of their way to do this. Robert and his mother stayed together like the best of friends as I was clearly being pushed away more and more. The entire 6 months we were there, all I heard about was how rude and selfish my family was for keeping the girls away from them. And how much she hated Alyssa saying that Joan (my mother) was the better grandmother and not thinking anything about Millie the other grandmother. My family was also accused of not "allowing" the PA family to see the girls or to share them. Also many many times in Alyssa's presence, Millie would begin talking about Patrick, Alyssa's father and how much she wanted nothing to do with him, and thought that his kids (her grandchildren) were filthy dirty and didnt like the pictures that she was sent of them. This hurt Alyssa badly as this is her father,and her half brother and sister and Millie is putting down her father in his daughters presence. This was wrong, but it continued.

I could not walk into any room without getting dirty looks from his step father. I felt extremely uncomfortable around him and he did make it very clear that I wasnt welcome and was determined to make me feel as such, and he did. I tried many many times unsuccessfully to have conversations with him. It just didnt work. I was very clearly treated differently from by him than anyone else. To try to make life a little easier, I went on the internet and ordered him a free subscription to Field and Stream magazine as he likes to fish and hunt. I thought he would really enjoy this and it would make life a little easier and break the ice. I was wrong. The magazine came and he asked Millie about it why it was there. She had told him to ask me that I probably got it. He asked me why I got it and I told him I thought he'd enjoy it and its free. He gave me a dirty look and said nothings free and throught it on the counter and walked away with a dirty look on his face. I asked Millie what did I do wrong, and she said that he's just not used to that. I said not used to people being nice? Based on that reaction, I just gave up. I realized at that point nothing I could do or would do towards him would make life easier. I was tired of getting treated like this. Robert was tring to get an appointment with a dr to get his "chest pains" checked out. All offices said that it would be at least 30 days to get an appointment. I said I bet if I called home at Westlake Hospital you can get an appointment within 24 hours. Robert had a fit!!! NO I will not go back to Chicago to see a dr. I pleaded but its better than suffering and waiting a month that makes no sense. Then his step father George found out that I had called the hospital in Chicago and started screaming at me for it. HOW DARE YOU HAVING THE NERVE TO CALL CHICAGO OVER THIS. BOB IS NOT I REPEAT NOT GOING BACK TO CHICAGO DO YOU UNDERSTAND, WHATS THE MATTER WITH YOU MAKING A DR'S APPOINTMENT FOR HIM THERE WHEN YOU LIVE HERE??????? They were all furious with me over this. I brought up my feelings on how this man acted towards me to both Robert and his mother. All Robert said was that I was imagining things. All Millie would say was, well that's just the way George was raised. I met George's family and I dont think they could have been nicer. His mother and father, very nice, brothers and sister, couldnt have been nicer to me. Very friendly.

I wasnt allowed to make phone calls to my family as shortly after we got settled in Millie had put a long distance code on her phone that you have to enter in in order to make a long distance call. There was one day when Geroge ( Roberts step father) picked up the phone and told me that if I didnt stop my PMSing that he was going to call my father and tell him to come get me. I said you honestly think my father is going to put up with that kind of a phone call. george stated to me, "I will straighten your father out right". Robert had the code and refused to give it to me. I was to ask to use a cell phone and only on weekends. When the girls would get a package from my family, they wouldnt comment on it at all. They wanted no part of what the girls had gotten in their box.

Christmas was closely approaching and I had made the comment that I wanted to go back home for Christmas, and was quickly very rudely told, By George, "No one is going no where, you are staying right here and that is FINAL". During the time when we had lived there, there were many times when I'd hear from Millie that when "Alyssa and I go back to Illinois". Never did she include in that sentence, Robert nor Jessica's or Jackies' name were never mentioned in any conversation on going back home to Illinois. There were many times when due to stress of being there that Robert and I would argue and while we would argue his Mother and step father would sit and listen and stare as though it was some kind of spectator sport. I then would suggest that we go into the basement to our bedroom and discuss things. If we did this, they would follow and I would sit on the bed, while getting screamed at in my face by Robert and him leaving the room by slamming the door behind him, and leaving me in the room in the basement. The door was extremely hard to open after being slammed. Id hear Robert saying well now thats over lets all go upstairs. I was left in that room devastated, hurt and crying. I was expected to stay down there in that room. The second I would say something to Robert during an argument, I would be told to shut up. There was another situation where George was rude to me yet again. I was downstairs in that room again folding laundry and heard his truck and realized that he was home. I looked at my watch and noticed that it was about the same time that Jackie was getting off the bus, and I heard the bus pull up. I thought well he'll let her in as they are both home at the same time. Well, I hear them walk into the house and I hear George coming downstairs looking at me and I said hello I see your home and Jackie is too! He gave me a filthy dirty look and stomped back upstairs and slammed the door extremely hard. I thought what the hell is this mans problem??????? I called Robert on his cell and told him what happend. I said I dont have to say a dam word to this man for him to be rude to me. Well I wasn't told till a month later why George slammed the door on me. George stated that he slammed the door because Jackie was getting off the bus and I wasn't at the door greeting her lettin her in. I said well I noticed that you were home too, you both walked in together, so what's the big deal? He says the big deal is that you are an unfit irresponsible mother, you are to be at that door every single day at 11AM getting her at the door, what the hell is that matter with you????? I said and thats why your so dam rude to me from that point on? He said Im not rude to you. I just walked away. My opinions and comments were not allowed nor asked for. One day Robert me and Jackie went out in the truck for some reason, and all I did was ask Robert if he thought we could ever get our 10,000 back from the contractor as we could use that money right now. He was FURIOUS!!!!! He slammed on the breaks I went forward in the seat, and he says to me how many times do I have to tell you, that money is GONE!!! He grabs the back of my hair and slamms my head into the seat. I fought him and grabbed his neck and he pulled my head up by my hair and slaps me cross the face and my glases went flying I grabbed my glasses and slammed up against the door and he pushed the door open and pushed me out of the truck, I went to grab Jackie out and he sped off throwing dirt in my face as I landed and fell on the side of the road. He continued down the road leaving me there. I then ran to the nearest house and called the police. I told them what had happened and that I wanted to go with my children to a womans shelter. The officer looked at me up and down and said that he saw no reason why I needed to go to a womans shelter that I didnt look abused. He asked me if I was taking drugs, and I told him no. He told me that I would have to go to the station to file a complaint if I wanted. I said fine, but I want my kids with me. He said he understood that but the report would come first. He told me to get into the squad car and we'd go to the station. Before leaving Robert came back and saw the squad car and took off. I said there he is. He put his lights on and pulled him over. I heard Robert telling the officer who he was and that HIS UNCLE WAS A COP giving the officer his uncles name (which he is, so he got some leverage), Robert also told the officer that I was taking meds and needed to for my emotional being and had a tendency and history of pulling stunts like this. Officer then said well then we're taking her to the station until she calms down. I said no, I want to go home to my kids they may be in danger. The officer finally let me out of the car, and stated that there would be no report done up as they didnt think that Robert did anything wrong. I said well then its ok for a spouse to throw another spouse out of a truck. The officer told me there was no evidence of that happening, so I can't do nothing. He asked me if I feared driving home with him, I said yes. The officer said fine, then you will get an escort home and if I see you talking to him even once, I will pull you over and arrest you, thats all there is to it. We were followed home, and neither of us spoke. Robert was protected. When we got back to the house it was obvious that Robert already called his mother and told her that I tried to have him arrested, as she was extremely cold towards me and said nothing to me for days after that. Was only very rude to me. He was now even more controlling and demanding.

Ive often been asked why I didnt get out of there with the girls. Just grab the girls and get out. There was no way I could. There was always someone else in the house with me. I was watched at all times.

My oldest daughter was treated improperly as well as I was. Millie would yell at Alyssa for not putting her drinking glasses in the cabinet correctly and against the inside wall of the cabinet. She would yell at her for not filling her dishwasher up correctly. She would get yelled at for snacking an hour after dinner. Millie would also yell at Alyssa for not stacking her pots into the cabinet "in the correct manner". She did nothing but yell at this child. She accused her of having no manners and accused me of raising her wrong. She never showed her much effection, and it is my guess because she is the daughter of the little boy that she gave up when he was 8 years old. She constantly put her father down in front of her. I asked Millie not to do this, but was told that it was her house and she could say what she wanted to and about whom she wanted to. No respect for a childs feelings. The more Alyssa showed it hurt, the more she did talked bad about her father. There wasnt too much that ALyssa nor I could do right in her book. Almost every night Alyssa cried in bed telling me that she wanted to go home and couldnt stand it there no more. I told her that I know and felt the same way, and that I wanted to go back for a visit, so hang on.

A few months had gone by and I found out that my mother was in the hopsital again. She had previously been hospitalized and in ICU for 8 weeks in a coma not expected to live. She had gotten a lot better, but since we were unexpectedly uprooted and out of state, her condition had at that time went down hill as she and my family were very worried for me as they all knew how very unhappy we were out there in PA and there was nothing that they could do about it. This last time that she was hospitalized, was a few weeks before Easter. My father told me that she was in the hospital and that it would be a good idea to come in and see her this time.

The plans had begun to go back home for a visit at that time. I had spoken with the girls teachers as they'd be out of school for a week during the week of Easter. I had brought this up to Robert once, and his response to me was screaming at me telling me that if I wanted to go back to my family then go and get the hell out of here. It was clear by that, that he had no intentions of going back nor even seeing my family again. The girls were looking forward to their trip. On the day that we were leaving, Robert went to get the train tickets and came back with only two, one for Alyssa and one for myself. They were one way tickets each. I asked where the other tickets were, and Robert told me that he wasnt going and that he was forbidding Jessie and Jackie to go as well. The girls heard Robert saying this and were very upset that now they werent allowed to go on the trip that they knew they were going on. He stated that it appeared that Alyssa and I wanted to go back "home", so go!. Knowing how badly my mothers health was going, and how much I wanted to see her and that no one knew if it would be the last time we'd see her again, Alyssa and I got on the train and left. This was Good Friday.

During the time of our visit, which was only going to be a week, as I didnt want to keep my daughter out of school for more than that, I used that time to reflect on what we had gone through those past 6 months. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I didnt want to go back and continued to be treated that way, and I certainly didnt want my daughter being treated this way anymore either. Furthermore, we only were bought one way tickets, so apparently we werent wanted back. After I came back home to Illinois, I went to the storage facility, and attempted to open the storage unit that Robert had opened up to put our belongings into. The manager told me that if I didnt have a key that he wasnt allowed to let me have access to the unit as Robert specifically wrote on the contract that no one was allowed to open it but him. WHY? So I took his name off of the other one, and refused his entrance into that one as well. I had also went to the DMV to attempt to get the address on my drivers license changed. I was told that I can't do that because there are out standing tickets left on my driving record for the license plate sticker and for lack of vehicle insurance. I was told that my drivers license is invalid and can't be modified until these tickets are paid. I also remembered and knew that the things that I packed up from the motelroom were packed into the Ford Taurus that was in Roberts name was unpacked and was going to be kept at his employers, Preferred Auto. I have attempted to call them 3 times since being back home. I have been told that my belongings are in a storage shed that belongs to one of their employees who is on vacation in Mexico. I've tried to call again two more times, the same excuse the person is in Mexico. We then attempted to go there ourselves, and asked the owners son, Kevin Jendra. Kevin looked very nervous and looked around for someone to pass us onto. He then said the same thing again, that the employee is again in Mexico and they dont know when he'll be back. Ive been constantly denied my belongings. Ive got clothes, girls have tons of toys there, the girls and I both have our jewelry boxes there with gold in them. There is a computer, and its accessories there as well. We have been denied all of these items. I have asked Robert on several occasions to please call his prior boss so that I can make arrangements to go pick these things up. Robert never responds. I am also afraid of the storage unit that Robert opened up in his name only. This storage unit contains all of the things that we had in our apartment. These are items that mostly belonged to ME during my first marriage. He put the items in this storage unit and has refused me access to it. Probably trying to not only take the girls from me, but everything else I've ever had. The car was sold, the house was foreclosed on, the girls, he has custody of, my furniture, I dont know, if he hasn't paid on the storage its probably been sold bythe storage facility. Everything is under Roberts control and I have nothing.

It appeared more and more clear to me that Roberts plans of going back to PA were more permanent than I had been told and he had just taken the girls away from their home and out of state and went there and used them to get me there. Upon my arrival, I wasnt in the least bit treated like a wife. I wasnt allowed to drive, nor go anywhere unless I was with someone. Ive been asked why didnt you just grab the kids and come home? I couldnt there was always someone there in the house with me. There was no way to get out or leave with them.

Thinking back over and over on the past 6 months I said I dont deserve to be treated like that, no one does but I do deserve to have my children, and it looks as though he has them out there for his benefit only. At this point, I cannot forgive him for what he has done with the girls and how badly it has hurt me and how much it has torn me up inside. No one ever has hurt me the way he has by using these girls to hurt me. I simply cannot forgive him nor to continue to live a life with a man that is capable of hurting me so badly as he has. And everyone saw it coming and knew it would happen, even Roberts own brother had warned me,everyone knew, but me. I guess love is blind.

I then decided to go to a lawyer, as I refuse to stay with a person that treats me this way. I want out. I dont want this to be an example of what a marriage should be like to my daughters. I went to an attorney, and told my story. He told me to go back and get my girls, then come back and file for divorce and custody, as long as there were no papers filed with either courts in either state we were ok.

In early May we went to the attorney and the following week were on our way back to PA. We drove to the house and no one was there, then we drove to the school and the girls hadn't gotten off of the bus. Worried I went into the school to see if they were indeed in school at all. The secretary told me, your husband was just in here yesterday this is very strange. The Principal called me into his office and told me that he didnt know what was going on but wanted to know. He had told me that Robert was just in the there the day before telling the principal that I had abandoned the girls and that they didnt know where I was. I told him that this is not true ,and if he were to ask the girls where I was, they'd tell you exactly where I was. I said that he wasnt being told the truth and I dont know why Robert would say such things to anyone. I had not abandoned the girls. I was back home in Chicago for a visit that the girls were supposed to go with me on, and their teachers were fully aware of the fact that they were supposed to go with me,but their father forbid it at the last minute. He didnt seem interested in what I had to say. He then told me that the girls werent in school they were with their father. I then said thank you and left the building. I then called the police because at this point it was clear that Robert was keeping the girls from me and didnt want me near them nor them to be around me. There is no reason for this at all. The police came and they told me that all I could do was to go back home to Illinois and get an attorney. He then went into the school to talk to the principal, when suddenly Robert pulls up in his car with the girls. The girls saw me and yelled out screaming there's mommy hi mommy your back. Robert pulls up and screams out the window, Im going to my uncles house and he's going to hide the girls from you hahaha and sped off. (his uncle that he mentioned is a police officer) I grab his license plate number and went back in to the school and told the officer to go after him. He supposedly did and came back 20 mintues later and said that Robert had out ran him and he couldnt find him, and again suggested that we go back home and get an attorney. We then went back home as we were told that we just woundnt get anywhere there getting the girls back.

So we drove back home and went back to my attorneys office. He had said that he didnt know anything about PA law so we had to come into his office and make some calls to find out about what we can do. Within the next week, I recieved legal papers in the mail from a PA attorney. Robert has filed for custody. I was extremely devastated. Any man knows that if you truly want to hurt your wife, the mother of your children, get custody of the kids. This is what he had done. The papers stated that I had to attend a custody hearing and all of the things that he was accusing me of were absolutely crazy and in no way shape nor form true in any way shape nor form. I had emailed Robert on it, and asked him why he was doing this to me. No answers. I asked him to drop it as there was no reason for him to do this and he knows that. He did agree once to in fact drop it, but obviously didnt. It was our guess that he had intended to do this because I didnt do what I was expected to do by him and live by his expectations. My attorney had told me that we needed to get a PA based attorney, this we didnt know, as we had never had children taken from us nor have we ever had been in a situation where we needed to hire an out of state attorney. At first we called Roberts attorney Jerrene Zimmerman and told her that we didnt have a PA based attorney and that we needed a continuance to get one. She denied the continuance. In the meantime, Robert told me on the phone that he had gotten a letter in the mail telling him that legal papers were filed in Illinois courts by me and that he had to go pick them up the next day by 3PM. He asked me if I was having him arrested or was I sending him divorce papers. I said you'll have to go pick them up to see. I got an email from him the next day he told me that he got the papers and asked me if he should sign them and agree with them and send them back. I told him to do what he wanted. Well it wound up he didnt pick them up at all, he lied, typical, as they were returned back to my attorney, undelivered with a note stating that they were not picked up, therefore it means Robert was not legally served, therefore he gets granted yet another 30 days to respond. My attorney called it a stall tactic. Now we hire a court constable to hand deliver them. We did. During our research on this situation we also realized and found out that in order to get child custody, a child must live in the state with either parent for a total of 6 months, then the parent can gain custody. This is exactly the amount of time in which we lived in PA. My attorney stated to us, there is your 6 months. Whether you had gone back there he may or may have not gained custody and just thrown you out, its possible based on the way he treated you. You didnt like the way you were treated, so you left, which was good, but that's what appeared he wanted, you left. If you dont like the heat, get out

Hey kiddo...
just a thought.. SOmetimes when we are very upset and agggitated it can come accross like WE are the nutty ones.. it's kind of like a scary movie when no one sees the monsters except that one kid that everyone thinks is crazy.. until the end when they find out the truth... If you can calmly (and more simply) explain what you need to an attorney I think you may have a chance.. Also look for one that will do pro-bono work or work on contingincies... Good luck pray and do not forget to bring God with you P.S. Where are you staying now???? Oh and try to only ask for what you need attoneys do not want to be our freinds.. it's all about the money bottom line it what the current situation is and what you need done.. save the venting for us or other freinds you trust>>> much love... See my Post about controlling narcassistic ex husband

I am so sorry that you have been through all of this. I have no advice for you but please know that I will be praying for you.
How are things going now?

This is a terrible ordeal you have had to endure, and I hope times are faring a bit better these days...with all of the disasturous results you have been having with attorneys, my one suggestion to you is have you thought of going to your local newspaper, telling them what has happened and seeing if they could possibly be of help??

You might find a sympathetic ear, PLUS the fact that they might have some resources they can pull in the way of getting some reliable legal help, along with aiding you to the right organizations that could help you get back on track...also, even if you are not a member of a church, you might want to try some of the local churches in your area.

At this point, I would try anything, and please know I am also praying for you and your children.

I'm with stephanieanne, you should send this whole story to a newspaper, some exposure may be just what you need. What your husband did to you was terrible and he shouldn't get away with it. Good luck and let us know how its going

I am just hoping beyond hope that ThreeRosePedals2 comes back to the board soon and knows that she has the support of all of us.

You know, as terrible as my situation was, and even the problems that continue today, I read a story like this and realize how fortunate I am to have my children with me...I hope life has either gotten better for her, or again. I think going to the local newspaper might just get her the help she needs in taking care of this matter and getting her children back.

What depths of selfishness some people will go to, just to hurt someone. It sickens me.